Archives for posts with tag: personalities

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Esta Blished said they should talk to the followers of Top Dog. Luckily Alien is a friendly chap and curious by nature, so he went straight to work and made a list of Dedes he has to talk to. First up was Mr Vague. He looks a little bit like a bear and Alien thought he might find some more clues from him. He ask outright, “why are you following Top Dog?”

Mr Vague hung his head and admitted “I find life very confusing and I am intimidated by all this information that is thrown at me. I have to make decisions here, there and everywhere, when all I want is to be left in peace. It is simply too much. Someone who knows better has to tell me what’s good or bad.”

Alien just listened and took notes, but reserved judgement.

The next one on the list was Bossman. But gee did he get a different reception here.

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Bossman is struggling to keep his business afloat.

“Expletive, I expletive don’t expletive talk expletive to expletive aliens” he screamed. Alien didn’t understand what he said as there were too many filler words, but he got the message. He turned round quickly, and with a big smile and shaking knees he said: “you don’t expect me to take you seriously, do you?”

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The Dedes are at the end of their tether and have no idea what to do next. It finally dawn on them that they can’t change Top Dog but the freedom they are accustomed to, is seriously jeopardised. Now all eyes and hopes are on the magical worker Esta Blished.  In her younger days the fairy godmother was very active in politics. She relentlessly fought for liberal values and equality. With age, unfortunately, Alzheimer’s was creeping up on her. At first no-one seemed to notice. Her friends simply thought she was a little tired after all these years of hard work. And now it is too late – Esta is away with the fairies most of the time. No-one knows how to use her magic wand to continue her excellent work.

The Dedes decided to have someone with Esta Blished at all times. In the hope, she will have a lucid moment before everything goes to the to the dogs.

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Sure enough, with all faith suddenly pinned on her, Esta Blished felt obliged to say something. Alien was with her at the time. He recorded everything verbatim, but thought it was more of an oracle than a lesson in magic. Here is what she said: “Listen to the ones who follow Top Dog. Not to gain power over them, but with true empathy. Should the dog meet the bear we will have the biggest schoolyard fight ever!”

Actually she did say the biggest school yard massacre, but Alien thought that was to harsh and edited it out.

 

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“Here is one fellow who helped me become more understanding about others” said the Benevolent King and shoved Bad Conscience forward. In the old days, the King had huge problems with his subordinates, but nowadays he is loved by everyone. Well, it is easy to love him… He has no power at all and is a mere figurehead.

Bad Conscience really helped me to reflect on what I was doing” he continued. “Maybe we should send him to Top Dog. He might be able to help him too!” He obviously remembers the time when he was imprisoned vividly. He is so grateful there is no death penaltiy in Dedeland. If there was, he wouldn’t be standing here today. He still might be loved by everyone, though, more in a martyr kind of way rather than a truly refined one.

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Bad Conscience always looks a little down and introverted, but he has his uses at times. “Give me half a chance and I will latch onto you… That is how it usually works” he explained. Of course he believes he is a nice fellow. He doesn’t speak much but enjoys to go over the old stories  again and again. Truth be told, most Dedes dislike like him, as he extremely difficult to shift.

“But believe me” he said frustrated “I’ve tried the likes of Top Dog before, they are immune!”

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The Dedes started a new feature called Truth Tuesday. And today is the first one. They had the idea, as they occasionally get questions that are not related to the storyline. If we get questions, they will be answered on Tuesdays from now on. We are quite happy to do a shoutout for the person who asks. If you don’t want to be mentioned, please note this in your comment. Of course the questions should be in the Dede spirit and we reserve the right not to answer. With that sorted, we actually got a question last Sunday. A follower from Turkey asked “How many persons are you?”
Well, I am one person and there are sixty-five Dedes at the last count. As far as I am aware, I am reasonably sane and do not have multiple personalities. 😉

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Meanwhile, Norman T Newbie isn’t particularly interested in what the readers ask, he wanted to know,  why is everyone so upset about Top Dog. He seriously believes that it would be fantastic, if he came into power and explained:  “For us it would definitely mean a brighter future. Usually puppets have a resurgence, when freedom of speech is curtailed!”

Scardy Pants who was within earshot said “I’d rather not test that one out.”

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Now everybody knows that L’Artiste is secretly in love with Cash Cow, he thought the best approach would be to find out what exactly happened.

“What I don’t understand,” he said to Cash Cow when they met, “is why didn’t you tell me I offended you. No, you didn’t bat an eyelid and just put me into place. Remember you said I shouldn’t be melodramatic.”

“That only shows that I am a professional!” answered Cash Cow proudly.

“And then you went and told everyone else that I offended you. Is that professional too?”

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Finally L’Artiste’s started to see the cow in a different light and walked away wondering how he ever fell for her.

“Did you really think you could attract Cash Cow with what you’ve said?” asked Mouse.

“I am so over it! Let her go and join Top Dog, if she must,” said L’Artiste resigned.

“No way,” replied Mouse forcefully. “He will throw us to her to fatten her up. Then he will kill her anyway and have a feast with all his chums.”

“But cows are vegetarians and we are not vegetables!” objected L’Artiste.

“You and I know that,” said Mouse, “but does Top Dog know?”

 

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L’Artiste was flabbergasted when an angry mob of Dedes showed up at the studio door.He had no idea what grief his flippant comment caused the other day.

“What have I done?” he asked truly surprised.

“You intimidated Cash Cow!” said Bobby, the policeman.

“Stop here,” said L’Artiste, “what happened to irony?”

“What about irony?” asked the policeman suspiciously and stop for a second, “have you killed her too?”

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Now poor L’Artiste had to come clean. “You got it all wrong guys” a very embarrassed artist admitted, “I love that cow.”

Then he showed them his diary. Here he calls his object of desire “Katching Moo.” Not a very imaginative or particlarly well discuised pet name. It is a combination between the sound of a cash register and the word catching. And Moo of course identifies the cow.

The book was full of little hearts and stories. A silent witness to his hopes that one day she will answer his prayers and be his. Honestly, look at the image of them together! You can see the love, can’t you? It is definitely Cash Cow who plays hard to get! She could have any artist if only she wanted.

 

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Even though you could not tell from her reaction, Cash Cow was deeply offended by L’Artiste. She went straight to see Devil’s Advocate to complain about the artist and figure out if she could sue him.

“I fear for my life,” she said, “how can I stop him? Or at least get some money off him?”

Devil’s Advocate, being who he is, did not entirely agree with her and defended L’Artiste in absentia. “He is an artist and of course he meant what he said symbolically! He just wanted to shock to get noticed. Suing him is futile, he doesn’t have a penny.”

Cash Cow had the feeling her concerns were not taken seriously.

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“Ah well” she said throwing her arms in the air, “I have rights too. I will go and see if Top Dog can help!”

Devil’s Advocate was aghast. “Now we drove her into the arms of this evil puppet!” He was at a total loss how the relationship between two loveable Dedes could deteriorate so quickly. He understands both, but what can he do?

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Monkey, who doesn’t particularly like the cool-headed, long-haul approach of Court Jester, thought he would ask Magician if he could do a bit of magic. That would be a quick fix, wouldn’t it? In the good old days, when everything ran smoothly, Magician was always boasting about his achievements. He could do this, that and the other thing, and much better than everyone else. But today he was in a hurry.

“No time at the moment” called Magician out to Monkey and ran the other way. “I have to hunt the Pokemons.”

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“No, no, you can’t do this to us,” said Monkey and quickly stepped into Magician’s path. “You have to help us stop Top Dog,” he begged. But Magician broke down and cried. “I simply can’t face the truth,” he sobbed, covering his face to hide his embarrassment. “I can’t do it! There is no magic! It’s all an illusion.”

Monkey was bitterly disappointed “and what about the Pokemons?”

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Monkey, who is very worried because he belongs to a minority everyone laughs about, went to see Court Jester. He was upset and asked “Why didn’t you say outright they shouldn’t vote for that idiot?” 

“It is against the Jesters’ code of honour. Jesters don’t tell anyone what to do, instead they try to open your eyes.”

“But you know exactly where we are heading if this idiot comes to power.”

“There is only one thing I know exactly” said Court Jester now, “if you call someone an idiot, he is no longer prepared to listen. Believe you me, my profession has hundreds of years of experience. Being confrontational doesn’t get us anywhere. We have to remove the heat and approach the situation with a cooler head.”

Then he gave Monkey a big hug and said: “Trust me.”

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Court Jester went to discuss the result of yesterday’s questionnaire with the benevolent King. Turns out only three Dedes considered themselves weird. Strangely enough Top Dog wasn’t one of them. But fifty Dedes thought the others were weird. That was exactly the point Court Jester wanted to make: the weird ones are always the others! And herein lies the problem according to the jester.
Unfortunately, this morning the Dedes were also told that the majority of readers reckoned they were indeed weird. Though in the sense of wonderfully different and excitingly strange. They valued their weirdness as a positive attribute.  You should have seen the upheaval that revelation caused. Now they all wanted to do the questionnaire again. And this time, all of them ticked yes for the first question. Weird, indeed!

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Court Jester couldn’t watch it any longer. He finally came out and asked: “Are all you Dedes insane?”  He is used to holding long speeches in front of the King and he continued to explain what he meant: “Yeah, anger is a form of helplessness, but calling for the strong man? Look what happened in the real world ninety years ago, Mussolini, Stalin, Hitler, Franco! The last witnesses are still alive and you want to repeat this history? Why should it work this time? Because we have better weapons? I am not saying ‘don’t vote for Top Dog.’ All I am asking you to do is – Think about the consequences! And he certainly doesn’t get my vote!”

One of our instagram readers moss.creek  was quick to respond: “I read once that in a number of Shakspearen plays with similar stories; the difference between whether it turned into a tragedy or comedy was if the characters listened to their jester’s advice. I hope we come out laughing in our own play!”

Well, the Dedes also would love to continue laughing.

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Court Jester prepared a little questionnaire for all Dedes and asked them to fill it out by tomorrow. In the meantime he also asks our readers, “do you think any of the Dedes are weird?”