Archives for posts with tag: advice

Last week the competition started in earnest. And the contestants had to talk about themselves. Push Push was first up. But she started with a complaint. The stage was too small for her.

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Devil reminded here that she should talk about herself and why she wanted to take part in the competition. “Well,” said Push Push “it is a little known fact, that I am a sponsored Dede. That means I have been sold to a collector. Since I forgot to send my sponsor a Christmas card last year, I felt obliged to take part in the competition to push my value up”

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Cool Cat was taken by surprise that she made it into the competition and she let us in on her secret: “I am a fashion girl and want to look my best. When I first didn’t make it into the competition I was so upset I cooked myself a huge meal of mouse, my favourite. And then  when I heard I made it, I had to eat grass to throw it all up again. What a waste!”

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“Who likes Mouse pie?” asked Monkey. “I like pancakes with banana and I think the committee should announce that any comment in the competition goes into the draw for the ‘Artist’s Survival Cookbook’.” He showed the readers the page with his recipe in the book. “Stop it!” said Devil from behind the curtain “tell us something we don’t know!”

Monkey took a deep breath and said proudly “Once, an old lady said, I looked like Obama!” and then he added with a lower disappointed voice “but I think she wasn’t wearing her glasses.”

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Skeleton Edeltraut wasn’t too sure anymore, whether her decision was right. “Everyone said I will feel so much better, when I come out of the closet” she said while she was tightly holding on the curtain. “Now I am no longer sure, whether I can do it. You know, this is a point of no return. Once I am out, there is no going back! The door will be closed forever!” The readers were very supportive and encouraged Skeleton Edeltraut to continue.

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Court Jester was taken aback by the whole event. “OMG” he sighed, “are my competitors really taking it  that seriously? Where is the fun in their lives? What the heck, I dress up as Leprechaun and have a pint of Guinness. Cheers!”

And that was the end of the first week.

Now the next day Mouse had to make good for her omission. “Monkey is right,” she admitted very embarrassed dragging a copy of the Artist’s Survival Cookbook on stage. “I have forgotten to mention that any comment during the competition goes into the draw to win our flour and water recipe book. I so wish Detail was here, she certainly would have reminded me, but she is still missing.”

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The competition is always very stressful, so on Sunday Mouse and Devil needed to have some time out. They went to the beach, sat on a bench and didn’t talk all day.

To be continued next week….

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Well, it should have been all easy peasy. But you would not believe what happened last week. As usual, the readers voted who will take part in this year’s Super Dede competition.  To give all contestants the same chance, voting closed on Tuesday, two days after the last contestant was introduced. Unfortunately the management committee gave an example on how someone could still affect the temporary result.  If someone wants Eve L. gone, they could leave a comment on Cool Cats post. NOT COOL at all. Sure enough two people followed that ‘advice’ and left a comment on the cats post, with the result that Cool Cat passed Eve L.

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Of course Eve L was not taking it lying down. As we already know he was working on a complaint but miraculously he also got a comment from St Petersburg, Russia. (Truly, I could not have made this up!)

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No idea what it says**, but nifty as Eve L is, he figured out the rules mention comments but don’t stipulate the language or whether the comment makes sense.

The next day Mouse, the organiser, wanted to chuck it all in after she looked the the revised vote count.

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“This competition is such a mess.” she said. “Now Cool Cat and Eve L. both wiggled their way into the competition and they pushed Push Push, the elephant out. ”

Devil had enough of the kerfuffle “I am making an executive decision here” he said firmly “Eve L is under suspicion of colluding with a foreign power and should be barred from this year’s competition!” Does anyone dare to disagree with Devil?

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Meanwhile Push Push was so anxious whether she gets in this time, that she did her own recount and had to find out that Foxy Lady did better than her as well. Honest as she is, she admitted the fact to Foxy Lady “nobody seemed to have noticed that you have a point more than I as well.” Luckily, Foxy Lady absolutely hates talent shows and patted the elephant sisterly on the back while she replied: “And we won’t tell anyone either. With your colourful circus personality you will do so much better than I. I am just a cranky old liberal academic. No one seriously wants to see me in a talent show!”

Well, she hadn’t reckoned with our readers. Sure enough someone said “I do!” But by then voting had closed.

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Finally the group picture of the five contestants was released. Not a particularly happy bunch, I must say. Who can blame them. After these two chaotic weeks, they were totally exhausted and they were allowed to go off for a weekend of golfing to get a good break before the competition starts in all seriousness today.

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Problem is, the Dedes can’t play golf at all. Gifting them a golfing weekend just sounded good. So, how do the Dedes relax? They went to a spa anyway. Sitting in a hot tub is no good either, as they are not water tight. To make the best of it Cool Cat treated herself to a massage by Chance. Pity the Dedes have no bodies and a massage is somewhat wasted on them too.

…To be continued next week.

**PS: We tried to find out from enders_production what their comment meant. While they responded, they didn’t engage with our request. It happens that we have Russian friends of our own and even though we did not get a direct translation from them either, we were told it is a word of encouragement. And we opted to believe it.

 

Last week the remaining contestants were introduced.

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Contestant No 7: Rob D Light. With Devil’s supportive words, Rob D Light mustered all his courage to enter the competition. He has a bit of a handicap, as he has a dust allergy and has to wear a kerchief in front of his mouth at all times. Because of this, he is currently unemployed and with no fixed abode. He is desperately looking for a job, though. In the meantime he has volunteered to help Devil building the stage for the competition. He really hopes he will get into the competition and people will change their minds about him.

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Contestant No 8: Skeleton Edeltraut. She simply believes it is a liberating move for every Skeleton to come out of the closet at one stage. Nothing much is known about her, but that is the nature of things. Isn’t it?

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Contestant No 9: Eve L. He wants to be part of the Super Dede Competition as he believes every show must have a nasty character and he certainly can fill this position very nicely, thank you. The big question is, could a nasty puppet become Super Dede?

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Then Lapdog had difficulties deciding on the last contestant. He went to seek advice by the management committee. His dilemma was that Top Dog wants to be part of the competition as he is convinced he is the best Dede ever. However, Lapdog who has the job of canvassing the contestants, can’t stand the narcissist and doesn’t want to give him a change. Luckily Foxy Lady, (who already tried to kill Top Dog once by pushing him of a shelf) stepped up. While she despises talent shows she offered to step up, just to sidestep Top Dog. Lapdog wondered if this approach was ethical. But the committee left the decision up to him.

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Contestant No 10: Foxy Lady. Well as we know, she is not a fan of talent shows, but she strongly believes that the likes of Top Dog need to be stopped. For the benefit of all, she had to snatch the last free space from the narcissist.

 

In the last competition, there was a complaint at the end of the canvassing procedure. Top Dog strongly believed he didn’t make it into the competition because he was last to be introduced. ‘Fair point’, said the management committee and changed the rules. This time the viewers have until Tuesday to get behind their contestant and for now they published the preliminary results only for everyone to see where the contestants stand at this point in time.

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Until Tuesday the readers can add comments to their preferred contestants and by doing so add points to their tally. Every comment counts 5 points. For example, if you want to push Eve L out of the competition, add a comment to Cool Cat and Eve L is a ‘goner’. Unless of course someone else enters a comment to Eve L.

Well, the committee should not have given this strategic example. Miraculously Cool Cat got two more comments over night and left Eve L. in the dust.IMG_4881

Sure enough, this morning Top Dog and Eve L were seen huddled together over pieces of paper writing up complaints.

To be continued next Monday…

 

 

I didn’t really want to write about what happens in the dede world today, but there was another incident.

Monster waited up for me. He sat quietly in the corner and waited until I came past. “Psst” he said, and at first I could hardly hear it. “Psst” he said again and I looked around and there he was all scared, squashed into the corner. He is an ugly little thing and one doesn’t know where his front and back is, but his dark black button eyes stood out.

“Can we talk?” he continued. “I don’t have much time, so make it short” I said looking at my watch. I was happy to lend him my ear. He comes across as a fairly rowdy one, I assume much of it is facade. Once you know him, he can be a really nice guy. But one thing is for sure, he is certainly not one who wins you over at first sight. You have to look twice and engage with him for a little while.

“You know, mhm, you know” he hummed and hawed.  There was nothing demanding about him today, not like the other day when he came to see me together with Skeleton. I felt sorry for him as I could see how painful it was for him to get started. Then finally he just exploded and blurted it all out… all his fears.

He virtually begged me to put Lou in his place (if he had knees he would have fallen on them). Deep down he is very worried that Skeleton actually enjoys the attention she gets from this handsome young puppy. He has been observing her. She is looking in the mirror more often than she usually does. If she had hair she would comb it all day. There are countless little signs. He told me around ninety-nine of them …

Monster is worried out of his mind that he will loose her. He is so sure she is his soul mate. He seems to think he would not survive, should she ever leave him.

I had to sit down and just let him talk. He sobbed and cried. It was obvious he seems to think she is his ultimate love. He talked and talked. Finally after an hour or so, he started to slow down, clearly exhausted. I watched him silently. A lot of thoughts flashed through my mind, but I was certain, none of them would have fallen on fertile ground in this situation.

I believe, if they really have such a strong relationship, no puppy, now matter how young and handsome, could destroy it. Yes, the attention might revitalise Skeleton Edeltraut for a little, but only temporarily…. She certainly knows there is more to a relationship than zing!

In the end I put my arm around him and said: “Look, just trust Edeltraut. Don’t be clingy and suffocate her with your love. The more you watch her, the more you shackle her, the more you will drive her away.”

“But, but…”

“No but… Trust!”

“You just don’t understand” he muttered, disappointed.

“Poor sod” I thought.