Archives for posts with tag: lipoedema

I’ve searched this morning for “fat legs”, as I wanted to see whether our film “Fat legs & all” shows up in the search engine results. Very high on the list I came across the perfect script for a puppet show about Lipoedema on a bodybuilding web site. Okay the dialog happened in 2005. The first sentence said it all. I would love to know how the story continued.

If you can bear it, read it:

My girlfriend has fat legs

“My girlfriend has a great upper body, but her lower half leaves a little more to be desired. First off, she has naturally muscular legs from her high school dancing career. She’s got thick calves- 14.5 inches! Problem is, she also has a thick layer of fat around her quads, calves, and hams. Cottage cheese is a good way to describe it. It’s mostly genetic how she stores her fat, as her parents are both borderline obese.
I know 2 months of diet and cardio can do the trick, but the problem is her attitude. She’s not very driven. At one point, she went to the gym consistently for 2 months, but I believe it was only to make me happy. Now that we’re both home from school, I’m pushing her to join a gym and get down to work, but she keeps putting it off.
Worse, she buys mini-skirts and dresses which make her feel self-concious. She’s always asking me to tell her she looks great, and frankly, I’m not a person who likes to lie. Last night, I yelled at her and said “you don’t have any right to be wearing anything that exposes your fat legs!”, which is the God’s honest truth.
If you don’t have it, don’t show it, but obviously my harsh philosophy backfired, and she’s angry at me, telling me that I’m controlling and abusive for telling her what she can and cannot wear.
Yes, she has a right to wear what she wants, but it just doesn’t look right, and I don’t want her to be embarrassed if other guys/girls give her looks, and moreover, I don’t want to be seen with a “fat girl”.
I love my girl to pieces, and I’ve been with her for nearly 5 years. She just lacks the drive for fitness and self improvement that I have. Her favorite phrases are “I want to wear what makes me happy”, “Running is too hard”, and “I don’t care what you or other people think”…which are the phrases 100% of fat people say. She’s plain lazy and unmotivated.
How can I get her to lose that weight? She’d look gorgeous in a mini-skirt if she did it, but damn it, what should I do/say?

\

“Well, aside from dragging her to the gym kicking and screaming, and buying her clothes that go well with her body type, there is not much you can do. Seems that your girlfriend has made it very clear that she does not care how she looks and does not want to excerise. Now if you don’t like being around “fat girls”, you have to make a choice: Keep her, or find a fit girl.

\

“I want to keep her, I mean, I’ve kept her for almost 5 years now. She has so many great qualities, but this legs thing is horrible. I try not to look at them when we’re in bed, cuz it makes me go limp within 2 seconds…lol.
I just don’t get it. I mean, lets put it this way: I have horrible side delts, so I would NEVER wear a tank top. Never. Hell, I’m cutting right now, and won’t take my shirt off unless I hit my goal of 10% bf…only 2 more months to go. See what I mean? You gotta earn your right. In the mean time, have the decency to hide that ****.
Any other suggestions?

\

“Break both her legs with your foot.

\

“Have a long term vision.
Fat legs will be good in long term.When she will be preganant, her body will burn fat legs to get energy.So legs will be slim.

\

“You could ask her to come along when you train. She can workout with you. Then do cardio. Once she goes that time and feels great after, she will want to go….and soon she may start going alone.

\

“I’ve done that…not breaking her legs, but taking her with me to the gym. However, she hates every exercise except dumbbell curls with 5 pounds, tricep kickbacks with 5 pounds, and 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill.
I’ve even gone as far as making her a meal plan, which she pathetically tried to follow for a week, and I even made her a training split, which she slowly veered off from. I’ve tried to be nice, to compliment her and feed her ego…nothing has worked.
I see alot of qualities in her which I could see myself being with long term. But her attitude towards fitness sickens me. Her parents are fat, and I fear I’ve got myself a future fatty.

\

“Looks like your in a tough situation my friend. It’s great that you have put all this effort into getting her to workout, but if she is not going to do it….well…
i don’t know what to say.
Maybe also explain to her that excersing is never easy but she tell her that she has to do it…not just for you, but for her own benefit.

\

“I have. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. She’ll do it, but only for a short spurt where she sees results, but for some reason the results don’t fuel her to work even harder, unlike how most of us are fueled by our results…it’s very strange.
It doesn’t help that the only “food” in her fridge that I’ve ever seen over the course of our relationship has been frozen cheese blintzes, old chinese take out, ice cream sandwiches, and an assortment of barely recognizable rotted produce. There’s also an abundance of canned soup, sugary cereal, and Easy Mac. Her parents don’t cook, and her brother is malnourished.
I think her parents are kinda senile, or crazy. They’re both burnt out from the high society living they once had. Her mom was a lawyer, and her dad still owns a large portion of Worcester, the city I live near by. They’re rich Jewish folk, if that has anything to do with their family mentality.
They love their kids to pieces, but God, they don’t feed them very well, and I guess my girl is just used to that…I dunno.

\

“She is used to doing whatever and she wants, and thats not going to change anytime soon. Girls are like that, in denial, they buy **** that they don’t look good in and expect their guys to feed their egos or else they are “a$$holes.”

\

“keep her until ur at 10% bodyfat, then dump her and get someone who is more fit for u
keep upgrading them :P

\

“Exactly. I’m no *******. I just like to call it like I see it.

\

“You know you can always take her to the doctor and have a doctor tell her that she needs to loose weight. Have her blood pressure, EKG, etc. Once she learns that something may be wrong, she may change…who knows.

\

“Last summer, I worked at a gym, and almost cheated on her with the swim instructor. That caused all sort of problems when my girl found out.
I love her though, so leaving her isn’t an option unless it gets horrible.

\

“I got the same problem as you man, I love her to death but shes a little chubby. When I find something out, I’ll let you know.

\

“maybe u just think u like her… and are too afraid to leave her and start a new relationship. Just think about it… one day u’ll wake up , ur 250 pound gf lying next to u, and be like wtf am i doing in here. By then it will be too late

\

“No, I love her to death, but I WILL NOT tolerate an fat/obese girl. Absolutely not. The way I look at life, fitness, and my body, I will not stand for it. That’s where my love stops- when the scale goes above 150.
BTW, she’s 5’5, 134 right now. She looked absolutely stunning back in high school when she was 112 and co-captain of the dance team. Guess I can thank 3 years of college for this. Stupid college…lol.

\

“I’m kinda in a similier situation. My g/f was a cheer leader/dancer in high school and also on a very competetive gymnastics team, AMAZING shape…I mean a perfect 10. Now 2 almost 3 years later she has gained weight, doesnt work out and really doesnt act like she is too intrested in it, she even complains that she is fat (which I dont think she is FAT, just a little on the cute chubby side =) But says she doesnt have the drive or time to work out…
It’s so hard cause I know if I bring it up she will think I’m calling her fat hah…

\

“Yeah, it’s tough because they know they’re fat, they know you think they are, yet they refuse to do anything about it. It’s like you know there’s a nasty black rat in your kitchen, but you sit there and refuse to get rid of the bastard. It’s illogical. I hate it when she fishes for compliments though. From now on, I’m not taking her with me on my cheat meals, and I’ll tell her she’s fat everytime she asks me how she looks.

\

“Dont justify her actions. If you dont like it THEN LEAVE.
Its as simple as that. You cant change people. If they are lazy slobs then they will be lazy slobs forever. Fine a new girl.

\

“Girls are not like guys….they are either motivated and enjoy eating healthy and working out, or they’re not. So many of my friends say they want to get in shape, they workout for a week and hate it.
This is a tough situation because you love her, yet she is becoming unattractive. If she is motivated now to get in shape, I doubt she will ever be.
You have to know right now that she most likely won’t change, no matter what you do. So, you need to choose…can her personality and all the things you love about her make up for the fact that she is not attractive to you.
Of course it sounds selfish, but attraction is important. And, it’s not just about that, it’s about a lifestyle. Working out and eating right is a big part of your life, if it’s not part of her’s than it will always be a problem.

\

“One of the most sensible things I’ve heard in a long time. Are you a girl? If so, I hold your opinion to be even higher.

Its not going to get better. Unless she wants to slim down for special occasions.

\

“I’ll slip laxatives and Lipo 6 into her food and drinks…haha. J/K

\

“chop her legs off

Advertisements

Here is a little treat for my blog followers. Only when you have the link can you watch this film, as it is unlisted on Youtube. It is a test of my shadow puppets for the film “Fat Legs & all“. Unfortunately, these original shadow puppets didn’t find the approval of the other parties involved and I had to modify them a little. I wanted to show the sponge puppets in a savage world. But I was told that for the sponges it is not so much a feeling of living in a hostile world, but rather one of seeking approval and understanding, as they are just ignored or made fun of.

I have to admit, I was a shadow puppet! Many people are surprised that neither of us who made the film suffer from Lipoedema ourselves. For me it was a “mea culpa” project. When Avril described to me what a Lipoedema sufferer might look like, I immediately remembered my best friend at Uni. For me personally body shape is of little importance. I side with my “No body” Dedes. What counts is what is in the head. However, my mate at Uni managed to aggravate me when we were out eating. She ate so little and pushed her food around her plate for ages.  Basically she ate very conscientiously and next to her I appeared like a caveman’s wife. I just gulped down what there was to eat. I always wondered what this was all about, as I ate far more, but was in much better shape. No, that’s not quite right… when sitting down, my friend looked like a real lady, but under the table it was a different story (the dress code at a baroque court would have suited her very well). And I admit it now, that I occasionally thought “If I were that unshapely, I would do something about it”.

After we finished our studies, our ways parted and I have long lost contact, but Avril’s description of the lipoedema figure brought back memories of all the good times I had with my friend.

 

Today is premiere day for my sponge puppet film. I will write more about it in the next few posts. Here just briefly what it is all about.

For this film I have teamed up with Avril Lunken, an lymphoedema occupational therapist from Melbourne and her daughter Tilly, a playwright in London. We thought the neutral medium of puppetry would be ideal to highlight this little-known condition which can make the lives of many women who suffer from it miserable. Lipoedema, is a condition where abnormal fatty deposits accumulate in the butt and legs but not the feet. Sometimes known as “painful fat syndrome,” women who have lipoedema often believe (or are told) they are simply over-weight but find that no amount of exercise or diet reduces the fatty deposits. Their legs and thighs are out of proportion with the rest of their body. This condition affects women only and manifests itself usually after puberty, child birth or menopause.

Imagine how soul-destroying it must be, when the only advice your doctor gives you is to loose weight, but you know too well you have already tried every diet under the sun. He then goes on to paint the bleakest picture what will happen if you don’t heed his advice…

With our film we want to reduce the prejudice towards those with the condition and instigate more research into the subject. During the next three days, Avril is presenting a poster at the 10th Australasian Lymphology Association (ALA) Conference here in Auckland. The film can be accessed by the participants of the conference via a QR code on the poster.

Life would become so much easier for sufferers, if only more people knew it is a medical condition and not a weakness of the will.

Please watch the film and share their story!

A big, fat Thank You!   Dietlind