“The narcissist is not going to change. Unfortunately @francisvalela is right there,” said Devil’s Advocate to Bad Conscience. “To be honest, from Top Dog’s point of view there is no problem. With his promises he is the successful saviour of the world. We have to face it, it is us who have the problem! Those who believe him, certainly don’t want to hear from us they are mislead. No-one wants to be told they are wrong! What are we going to do?”
“Here is one fellow who helped me become more understanding about others” said the Benevolent King and shoved Bad Conscience forward. In the old days, the King had huge problems with his subordinates, but nowadays he is loved by everyone. Well, it is easy to love him… He has no power at all and is a mere figurehead.
“Bad Conscience really helped me to reflect on what I was doing” he continued. “Maybe we should send him to Top Dog. He might be able to help him too!” He obviously remembers the time when he was imprisoned vividly. He is so grateful there is no death penaltiy in Dedeland. If there was, he wouldn’t be standing here today. He still might be loved by everyone, though, more in a martyr kind of way rather than a truly refined one.
Bad Conscience always looks a little down and introverted, but he has his uses at times. “Give me half a chance and I will latch onto you… That is how it usually works” he explained. Of course he believes he is a nice fellow. He doesn’t speak much but enjoys to go over the old stories again and again. Truth be told, most Dedes dislike like him, as he extremely difficult to shift.
“But believe me” he said frustrated “I’ve tried the likes of Top Dog before, they are immune!”
The Dedes started a new feature called Truth Tuesday. And today is the first one. They had the idea, as they occasionally get questions that are not related to the storyline. If we get questions, they will be answered on Tuesdays from now on. We are quite happy to do a shoutout for the person who asks. If you don’t want to be mentioned, please note this in your comment. Of course the questions should be in the Dede spirit and we reserve the right not to answer. With that sorted, we actually got a question last Sunday. A follower from Turkey asked “How many persons are you?”
Well, I am one person and there are sixty-five Dedes at the last count. As far as I am aware, I am reasonably sane and do not have multiple personalities. 😉
Meanwhile, Norman T Newbie isn’t particularly interested in what the readers ask, he wanted to know, why is everyone so upset about Top Dog. He seriously believes that it would be fantastic, if he came into power and explained: “For us it would definitely mean a brighter future. Usually puppets have a resurgence, when freedom of speech is curtailed!”
Scardy Pants who was within earshot said “I’d rather not test that one out.”
Now everybody knows that L’Artiste is secretly in love with Cash Cow, he thought the best approach would be to find out what exactly happened.
“What I don’t understand,” he said to Cash Cow when they met, “is why didn’t you tell me I offended you. No, you didn’t bat an eyelid and just put me into place. Remember you said I shouldn’t be melodramatic.”
“That only shows that I am a professional!” answered Cash Cow proudly.
“And then you went and told everyone else that I offended you. Is that professional too?”
Finally L’Artiste’s started to see the cow in a different light and walked away wondering how he ever fell for her.
“Did you really think you could attract Cash Cow with what you’ve said?” asked Mouse.
“I am so over it! Let her go and join Top Dog, if she must,” said L’Artiste resigned.
“No way,” replied Mouse forcefully. “He will throw us to her to fatten her up. Then he will kill her anyway and have a feast with all his chums.”
“But cows are vegetarians and we are not vegetables!” objected L’Artiste.
“You and I know that,” said Mouse, “but does Top Dog know?”
Even though you could not tell from her reaction, Cash Cow was deeply offended by L’Artiste. She went straight to see Devil’s Advocate to complain about the artist and figure out if she could sue him.
“I fear for my life,” she said, “how can I stop him? Or at least get some money off him?”
Devil’s Advocate, being who he is, did not entirely agree with her and defended L’Artiste in absentia. “He is an artist and of course he meant what he said symbolically! He just wanted to shock to get noticed. Suing him is futile, he doesn’t have a penny.”
Cash Cow had the feeling her concerns were not taken seriously.
“Ah well” she said throwing her arms in the air, “I have rights too. I will go and see if Top Dog can help!”
Devil’s Advocate was aghast. “Now we drove her into the arms of this evil puppet!” He was at a total loss how the relationship between two loveable Dedes could deteriorate so quickly. He understands both, but what can he do?
We know now, Magician feels he is incapable of doing a magic trick for the Dedes. But wait, there are a few puppets that should be able to help. Esta Blished, the fairy godmother for example, should have magical powers too. Unfortunately it is a well-known fact that she has Alzheimers so she is away with the fairies most of the time. Every so often though she is totally lucid and such a moment just happened. She went to L’Artiste and said, “you know I have misplaced my book of spells, but artists can create magic too, can’t they?”
True, L’Artiste creates magic, but mainly for himself, when he is in the zone of making things. However, it is not the kind of magic, the Dedes are looking for. Remember, they need magic to make Top Dog disappear.
So, L’Artiste went to see Cash Cow. (These two are indeed very difficult to picture together).
“I try so hard” said L’Artiste frustratedly, “but my magic can’t solve the problems of the world.” Then he hugged the old cow to lessen the impact of what he was about to say next. “Personally, I think the only hope for the world is to slaughter you.”
Cash Cow, who always looks like she is hard done by, wasn’t the least surprised. Obviously it wasn’t the first time that she heard this suggestion and she replied firmly “why do artists always have to be so melodramatic! Just concentrate on your work and leave me alone. If you are good you might make an impact one day!”
Monkey, who doesn’t particularly like the cool-headed, long-haul approach of Court Jester, thought he would ask Magician if he could do a bit of magic. That would be a quick fix, wouldn’t it? In the good old days, when everything ran smoothly, Magician was always boasting about his achievements. He could do this, that and the other thing, and much better than everyone else. But today he was in a hurry.
“No time at the moment” called Magician out to Monkey and ran the other way. “I have to hunt the Pokemons.”
“No, no, you can’t do this to us,” said Monkey and quickly stepped into Magician’s path. “You have to help us stop Top Dog,” he begged. But Magician broke down and cried. “I simply can’t face the truth,” he sobbed, covering his face to hide his embarrassment. “I can’t do it! There is no magic! It’s all an illusion.”
Monkey was bitterly disappointed “and what about the Pokemons?”
Monkey, who is very worried because he belongs to a minority everyone laughs about, went to see Court Jester. He was upset and asked “Why didn’t you say outright they shouldn’t vote for that idiot?”
“It is against the Jesters’ code of honour. Jesters don’t tell anyone what to do, instead they try to open your eyes.”
“But you know exactly where we are heading if this idiot comes to power.”
“There is only one thing I know exactly” said Court Jester now, “if you call someone an idiot, he is no longer prepared to listen. Believe you me, my profession has hundreds of years of experience. Being confrontational doesn’t get us anywhere. We have to remove the heat and approach the situation with a cooler head.”
Then he gave Monkey a big hug and said: “Trust me.”
Court Jester went to discuss the result of yesterday’s questionnaire with the benevolent King. Turns out only three Dedes considered themselves weird. Strangely enough Top Dog wasn’t one of them. But fifty Dedes thought the others were weird. That was exactly the point Court Jester wanted to make: the weird ones are always the others! And herein lies the problem according to the jester.
Unfortunately, this morning the Dedes were also told that the majority of readers reckoned they were indeed weird. Though in the sense of wonderfully different and excitingly strange. They valued their weirdness as a positive attribute. You should have seen the upheaval that revelation caused. Now they all wanted to do the questionnaire again. And this time, all of them ticked yes for the first question. Weird, indeed!
Court Jester couldn’t watch it any longer. He finally came out and asked: “Are all you Dedes insane?” He is used to holding long speeches in front of the King and he continued to explain what he meant: “Yeah, anger is a form of helplessness, but calling for the strong man? Look what happened in the real world ninety years ago, Mussolini, Stalin, Hitler, Franco! The last witnesses are still alive and you want to repeat this history? Why should it work this time? Because we have better weapons? I am not saying ‘don’t vote for Top Dog.’ All I am asking you to do is – Think about the consequences! And he certainly doesn’t get my vote!”
One of our instagram readers moss.creek was quick to respond: “I read once that in a number of Shakspearen plays with similar stories; the difference between whether it turned into a tragedy or comedy was if the characters listened to their jester’s advice. I hope we come out laughing in our own play!”
Well, the Dedes also would love to continue laughing.
Court Jester prepared a little questionnaire for all Dedes and asked them to fill it out by tomorrow. In the meantime he also asks our readers, “do you think any of the Dedes are weird?”
Rob D Light had been thinking long and hard and came to the conclusion he should apply for the job Sunny turned down the other day. So he went and saw Norman T Newbie III, clutching his CV he had been labouring over for a long time. Norman didn’t even look at the paperwork. He just laughed heartily. “We don’t want Dedes like you. Wait until we come to power. We know what to do with the likes of you.”
Rob felt very ashamed, quickly gathered his things and left. Norman T Newbie III was still laughing as if it was a brilliant joke. Little did Rob know that Norman actually doesn’t have the authority to hire anyone.
When he paused at the next street corner, Mouse passed by and saw Rob D Light was all depressed. She felt so sorry for him and instinctively gave him all her small change.
“What are you doing?” asked Mr Vague appalled. “You know he is going to the next bottle store now to buy some booze.”
Mouse wasn’t fazed at all. “He might,” she said “and so does my colleague and half the population when they get their wages.”
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