Archives for posts with tag: relationships

mouse and punch bag

Hurrah, we made it… Today is the day of the last contestant in the ‘Super Dede Competition 2012″ and it is Mouse! She still has to show us her skills. Ah well, we all know her skills, she is the best organiser one can think of. She really can work miracles. Apart from this, we don’t know much about her, she is as quiet as her proverbial church mouse relatives when it comes to revealing anything about herself. She is very good at talking about others. She is a great gossip and strongly believes “gossip makes the world go round, the world go round”.

Even though she is the best organiser in the world, she is pretty stressed in the pre-Christmas period. I have entrusted her with buying all my Christmas presents for the family, and this, believe me, is a major task. Right after Christmas, Mouse not only has to put on a big show for New Year’s, no, there is an even bigger event on the Dede Puppet Calendar…. an important birthday… Devil and fourteen of his Dedes mates turn ONE!  But please refrain from asking Mouse what she has planned for this big event. At the moment she is just  too stressed.

Mouse’s headquarters is in the kitchen and we were not surprised to be invited to meet her there for her skills performance. Mouse held a little speech on how badly the timing was for the ‘Super Dede Competition’, so close to Christmas. She never should have applied to become a candidate and she certainly won’t put her name forward for next year’s show.

“I didn’t have much time to think about what I can show you. Running around like a headless chicken is my forte, but all of you have seen this before. So I thought I’ll let you in on my biggest secret. I will show you how I de-stress!” She ended her speech and we were all curious. Then she opened the pantry door, hopped inside and disappeared into the darkest corner.

“You are not expecting all of us to hop into the pantry, are you?” Detail asked. We heard something rustling in the back. “No, no wait” Mouse called out from the depths of the cupboard. A second later she appeared with a huge punching bag in shape of a …cat!

“I do boxing exercises to keep my fitness up and to relief stress.” She hung the punching bag from the lamp shade and started dancing around it hitting it every so often. It looked very elegant, but I was surprised how vicious some of Mouse’s blows were. I  looked around for my friend Cat, who was somewhere in the crowd. She had quietly slipped to the back of the spectators. When everybody asked if they could have a go, she finally slid out the back door.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Dedes were pestering me for a while. They wanted to have a real Christmas party. I had told them some time ago I won’t be around on the 25th of December, Christmas Day, when you usually have your family get-together and get your presents. We non-Dedes are going up north to celebrate with family and I won’t be able to take all the Dedes with me, but I might take some. – I can already hear them calling: Take me! Take me!  But this is still a week away….

Back to the Dede Christmas Party, which happened yesterday. You might have gathered, I am not the best organiser under the sun and I always ask Mouse to do the dirty work. Once again, she worked her little butt off to make it a memorable event. She organised such a typical New Zealand Christmas party. We had the most gorgeous day, beautiful sunshine – it must have been the hottest day of the year so far. Mouse had found the perfect location. I had suggested the beach, but for the hydrophobic Dedes that might have turned out rather displeasing. Mouse opted for a site high on a hill under an ancient Pohutukawa tree. So the Dedes could sit in the sun or the shade, what ever they liked. Of course, we also had all the drama that usually goes with a Christmas party in the sun (Mouse is not at fault here). I took plenty of pictures, so have a look at the slide show.

For my readers in the Northern Hemisphere, who are not used to the Christmas Season in the sun, here is a quick summary of what usually happens at such events: Everybody arrives at the picnic site. There is plenty of drink and also some food. As it is so hot you rather take to drink than food. You sit around and chit chat with people you haven’t seen  for a year or didn’t care for, while you slowly get drunk. In the scoring heat this state is reached relatively quickly. At one point Santa gives out presents, followed by more drink. The ones who drink get merrier and merrier and the ones who don’t, become more miserable as the conversations go round and round in ever decreasing circles. The kids (who don’t drink of course) do the Christmas Crackers, the grown-ups do the gossiping and the inevitable fighting, and new alliances might also form. Then suddenly everyone goes all quiet and has a little nap. Once everybody comes out of their stupor, the big clean-up happens and the left-overs are packed up… and that is it till next year…. All Mouse can hope for is that everyone has the feeling they had a great afternoon.

I of course was the designated driver and photographer and couldn’t partake in the affair, but I enjoyed the afternoon watching them. I won’t tell you what happened in the car on the way home and needless to say I am enjoying my morning coffee today in total peace and quiet.

Thanks Mouse!

devil and harvey

Harvey is the last contestant in this round of questions. Remember the gambling rabbit that made all Dedes cringe last week? Now he seemed to be a changed puppet. The bounce was gone, he moped along, it looked as if he was dragging his long ears on stage.

“You seem a bit down today, mate” said Devil when he shook Harvey‘s hand to greet him. “I didn’t get a single date last week.” Harvey said cheerlessly.

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes, I am a little. I really don’t understand what women want!….”

Harvey, this is not  a dating competition…. And I am not a psychologist! Let’s just get on with the show!” Devil was visibly uncomfortable that Harvey wanted to speak about his last performance. Harvey plonked himself on the chair and continued talking “…You know this is just how I react in stress situations. Pig freezes and I get loud. Everybody felt sorry for poor old Pig when it happened. It would be nice if you guys could cut me a bit of slack as well. I am really not that bad….”

“Let it go…” Devil butted in “Let’s just move on and see how you go today. Here are your three questions:”

1. What would you like to do for Christmas?

2. Being Christmas and all, what can you do to make the world a better place?

3. What are your plans for next year?

“What would I like to do for Christmas? If I had the money I would take Deutsch Fraulein to Germany. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have to buy a lottery ticket first, but if I win, I’ll take her. She would so love that.” He stopped there for a little and then added more softly: “maybe she would like me then!”

“For the second question, to be honest Devil, what could a little rabbit like me do to make the world a better place? Yes, if I had heaps of money I would set up a big farm and all the kids in the neighbourhood could grow their own food there and their mums would love me for that. There is no question, if I had enough, I would give money to all sorts of charities… But really what can a little rabbit like me do? Particularly one that is broke.”

“What are my plans? I am sure I am going to win the jackpot in 2013! Thirteen is my lucky number. When I have all this money, I will buy a big house and settle down. Maybe Cash Cow can move in with me – living in a garage can’t be too good for her – she could look after my kids. Once I have this big house, the ladies will find me more attractive, and I will find a nice girl who can cook and wants to settle down with me and start a family. I know it will be all good, when I win the lottery.”

Harvey’s eyes glazed over and everybody in the audience could see what a wonderful world he was creating for himself.

How do you rate Harvey’s answers?

devil and mouse

The next in line for questioning was Mouse. She came running onto the stage and the first thing she said to Devil was that she nearly called in sick. The flu is going around and she feels like she is coming down with something. But she has so much to do. She can’t afford to lie idly in bed for a day or two, as she is trying to organise the Dede Christmas Party. Weather permitting, they all want to go out to the beach somewhere and that is a major undertaking. Forty puppets…. it is not an easy feat.

Devil didn’t say much, he just waited until she had finished talking and settled down a little.

“Take a deep breath, Mouse” he said finally “it will be all fine. Are you ready then?” Mouse nodded eagerly and got her notepad and pen out while Devil read out the three questions.

1. What do you want for Christmas?

“Peace and quiet” Mouse said instantly, but Devil made a sign she should wait until he had finished.

2. If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you like to do?

3. What is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

Mouse waited. It was obvious she thought there must be another question. “In your own time” Devil invited her to give her answers.

“Sorry, what was that again?”

“What do you want for Christmas?” Devil repeated. Mouse laughed hysterically. “I thought that was just chit-chat, but it was the first question.” Mouse got more and more frazzled.

“You said peace and quiet before” Devil reminded her to get her back on track.

“Yes, I personally want to have some quiet time, but don’t you want to know what I want for all the Dedes or the world?”

“The interpretation of the question is totally up to you!” Devil explained. Mouse looked in the air and after a while she succumbed: “No, I can’t think of anything else. I will go with peace. That is what I want for Christmas. So on to the second question… what is the biggest downside….”

‘That was question Number 3, but you can answer it first if you like” Devil interrupted

“No, no, we will do it in the right order. So what was question two again?” she asked. Devil read it out once more: “If you could do whatever you wanted…”

“Yes, yes, yes… Why would I want to do something different? I have a good standing in the Dede world. Everybody knows me, I know everybody. Plenty of things for me to do.  No, I have no wishes to do anything else!”

“You don’t want to see your relatives in Europe, for example?”

“Ahhhhh, is that what you mean? I thought you meant what I want to do for work. You need to be a bit clearer with your phrasing! And no, I don’t want to see my relatives in Europe, how would I get there?”

“So, what’s your answer then?” Devil asked to clarify.

“What is your question?” Mouse countered.

“The question is ‘What would you like to do’….”

“I know, but you need to be a bit more specific”

“But Mouse,” Devil started to get agitated now “the whole idea is that the readers find out something about you. They want to hear how you interpret the question. Otherwise I could ask you closed questions that you can only answer with yes or no!”

As Devil got louder, Mouse noticed she might have pushed it a bit too far. She had no intention to aggravate the host and she backed down: “Okay okay then, my answer is, I am blissfully happy with what I do!”

“Can we move on then?” Devil asked with a sigh of relief  “So your last question is, what is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

“My first thought when I heard the question was that we are not waterproof and can only go out in sunshine, but I will change my mind… The biggest downside of being a Dede is that we are dependent on humans. One in particular, our artist. She made me say all these things, and I came across real ditsy today, didn’t I? So please don’t forget, it wasn’t really me! Honestly, I am not really that ditsy.”

How do you rate Mouse’s answers

devil pig professor

First up for the second round on stage was Pig again. Remember last week? Pig froze on stage and had a very poor performance. Now Devil had just made himself comfortable with his stack of question cards, when Professor and Pig appeared on stage together. Professor walked up to Devil and whispered something in his ear. Devil shook his head a few times and finally Professor left the stage leaving Pig behind. Devil told me later, that Professor had asked whether he could sit there with Pig as a bit of support for his mate. Pig was still very, very nervous. Devil’s answer of course was a resounding no. However, he promised to keep the questions simple today.

Pig sat down and immediately started staring at a tiny piece of floor right in front of him.

“Are you ready?” Devil asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever will be” said Pig without looking up, but astoundingly confident. Professor must have coached him all last week.

Devil shuffled the question cards and read out three questions for today’s candidate:

1. What are your aspirations in life?

2. What would you consider bliss?

3. What is your biggest fear?

“Can you start from the beginning again, please?” Pig asked. “What do you mean by apparition?”

“Aspiration I said, not apparition. Just tell me what you want to be!”

“I only know what I don’t want to be… I don’t want to become pork chops like any other pig. That’s certainly not how I want to end up. Or as bacon. Professor tells me I have to be careful, particularly now that it is Christmas time. He says it is a dangerous time for a juicy little pig like me and he doesn’t want me to go out by myself with all the barbeques going on.” When he started to talk about Professor he all of a sudden could speak clearly and fluently, but he moved away from answering the question.

“It is certainly a good start, knowing what you don’t want. Isn’t it? Everything else will come with time” Devil said to indicate he deemed the question sufficiently answered. But Pig just looked at him blankly.

“So what would you consider bliss or heaven, then?” Devil repeated the second question as Pig seemed to be lost again.

“A fridge full of cold beer!” Pig answered instantly without consideration.

“That’s it? That is your answer?”

“Yes, I’ll stick to that!”

“Okay and what is your biggest fear?” Devil asked the last question again.

“Ending up as pork chops…” Pig said again, after staring at the floor for a while. Then he looked up. He must have seen Professor standing behind the curtains looking very disappointed, so he quickly added: “And that Professor leaves me. Yes, that is my biggest fear, Professor leaving me. Yes, Professor keeps me safe. So I hope he won’t leave me. This would be disastrous. I might as well become pork chops then…”

“Thank you Pig, that was all very revealing!”

“Was it?” Pig asked, obviously surprised that it was all over so quickly.

What do you think of Pig’s performance this week?

Nobody came forward with any ideas about how to stop Smug Little Devil undermining my decision making. …Truth be told, I can’t really act on it yet, as I have only heard the accusations through the grapevine. So I will have to leave it for now. It’s hard though, not to do anything. I have to confess his behaviour irks me greatly. I am confident the Dedes’ allegiance is still with me for now, but for how much longer? I will prick my ears up… and if he should be so silly to give me half a reason I will pounce on him and take him to task. That is the plan! But I know he is a cunning little weasel. He doesn’t trip up easily. I have to be very, very patient.

In my defense, (and this is now an explanation for all the Dedes, who feel they should have been selected for the gallery trip), the idea was to send five puppets who have absolutely nothing in common. They were supposed to be online friends, not real ones. When we tested it for a few weeks in the living room it worked very well. They communicated very nicely via their modems and didn’t look at each other. Instead they looked out into the big wide space before them, but had no idea who they were connected to. Unfortunately in the gallery they managed to turn their heads round and they saw who was on the other end of each modem. I believe that was when the real trouble started. When Ms SM suddenly realised she had opened her heart to a pimply teenage Boy and Smug Little Devil was not chasing that young hot fox, but middle aged Liar. Alien just thought it was a big, big joke and wanted to party!

I apologise, I didn’t think it through… I just acted on my great artistic ideas and ignored the personal pain I might have caused the participants. But then…. get real! When you find yourself on a deserted island, you have to learn to overcome your differences and cherish what you have in common. After all, you are all Dedes, aren’t you!

Phew, now I really worked myself up :), but I feel much better!

I am so happy… our heroes from the “Wallace Art Award” came back home yesterday. All the Dedes were excited and organised a ticker tape parade for their return. But boy, were our five travelers exhausted. Actually only four were exhausted and guess who was the chirpy one?

Aliens don’t sleep”, a very grumpy Liar told me, and I think he was telling the truth for a change.

Alien had wanted to party all night, every night! And since the other artworks were very different and a bit stand-offish, he pestered his four friends, who gradually turned into his enemies. Ms SM, who can be a night owl herself, said they got so annoyed with him they even hatched a plan to push him aside, but  he fell off his stick instead. They felt bad about that, but luckily he didn’t break. The next morning the curator came along and put him back up. So they got a few hours reprieve, but didn’t dare try again. From then on they just gritted their teeth. They all agreed it was extremely difficult to live together in those crammed conditions for such a long time (they were away for six weeks). And they pledged never to go on holidays with friends again.

Very much to the disappointment of the Dedes who stayed at home, all the returnees retired early last night. Only Alien was prepared to tell a few more tales, but he had to make a quick phone call first and so went into the garden. When he didn’t come back for ages everybody toddled off, rather disappointed.

What a fizzer of a party! Some of them agreed we will have a proper home coming party on Saturday. If the travelers are up to it, that is!

Yesterday, Chance invited her half-sister Detail and her niece, Minor, for a picnic on my yoga mat. They hadn’t seen each other for months. These two sisters have a really strange love/hate relationship and I normally wouldn’t comment on anything family related, as the puppets can get very defensive when you talk about a close relative.

I have admitted it before, I favour Chance over Detail. Chance is much more relaxed. She doesn’t mind if you ignore her when you are otherwise engaged. She just shrugs her shoulders and says: “Your loss not mine” and leaves.

Detail on the other hand has a knack for driving me up the wall (particularly when I am already stressed). She always wants to have it done her way! Don’t get me wrong, it is good to know her and in less stressful situations – when I have plenty of time and can pay her enough attention – she is really, really lovely. You just need to know how to take her. Let’s face it, Detail wants to be super woman. She is a solo mum and it can’t be that easy with a teenage daughter like Minor. And I suspect she is only so finicky because she actually lacks confidence. She gets a lot of security by spending an exorbitant amount of time on precision.

Bring on Chance the airy fairy one and, I mean, honestly… any outsider can see that this can’t go well. But what can you do if it is family? Well, one thing is for sure, I want to stay out of their arguments. If you get caught in the middle….

Often their bone of contention is around  Minor. Chance doesn’t have kids of her own, so she dots on Minor when she can. Unfortunately Detail thinks Minor has picked up a few bad habits from her aunty. In particular, this very aggravating “wha-ever” response.

Back to yesterday…

True to herself, Chance was late, fifteen minutes or so. This of course set Detail off on the wrong foot. When Chance finally arrived with a bowl of prezel bows, Minor (who has a slight weight issue) dived with her hands into the bowl before it was placed on the mat. Detail exploded immediately, telling her daughter she should pay more attention to her appearance. Chance tried to defuse the situation and said teenagers have to eat a lot.

Detail jumped up and said, “you always undermine what I am doing”, grabbed Minor by the wrist and dragged her out the door.

Chance popped a pretzel bow in her mouth and said: “Ah well. I guess that is it for the next six months”

That was the shortest family reunion I have ever seen!

The Dedes have made themselves scarce after my outburst two days ago. I really think it wasn’t that big an outburst to justify their reaction. I just told them what was on my mind and you should be able to do this amongst friends, shouldn’t you? I wanted to give them an idea about how to improve themselves and education is always a good thing, isn’t it? But judging from their reaction I must have hurt them a lot!

Philosopher is the only Dede who still speaks to me apart from Bad Conscience (the guy I am not so keen on). Philosopher told me they always believed our relationship was based on mutual love and respect, but my outburst indicated that my love for them was somewhat lesser than theirs for me. But he added in his opinion there is no way you can measure love, he was only the bearer of the message. This is his style of telling me the subject is not open for discussion. He has no mandate to speak on behalf of all the Dedes. And he added: “I personally love you all the way to the moon and back.” It was heart warming and I had to give him a hug, even though he is not the huggy type of puppet.

While we were having our conversation something was going on at the front door. At first I ignored it. It sounded like an entire army of rats or possums or cats were running over the front porch. But then I heard whispering as well and I knew the Dedes were up to something. I had to ask Philosopher.

“They are doing a Dharna” he said. I looked at him blankly.

“They didn’t know either what it was, but Arindam suggested it to them. You know their friend from India? He seems to think it is an effective method to get an apology from you!”

He told me that after Arindam had planted the idea, Mouse had invited them all to the kitchen to look up on the internet about how to do a Dharna. They figured out a Dharna is a means to show the world that somebody had not treated them in a just way. So, they have to go to the offenders house and fast on the doorstep until they get justice or die.

I’m sorry if they got it wrong, it was their first attempt and they had to learn it via the internet. When they voted on whether they should go ahead, Devil immediately said he thinks it is basically a good idea, but with his love for food, there is no way he could participate. He suggested to send Skeleton Edeltraut to my doorstep, as she doesn’t eat anyway. Even though they thought it was a brilliant idea, they all agreed one puppet on my doorstep wouldn’t have much effect. After all, they all had been offended by me. In the end they decided there are enough Dedes to divide them up into groups and take 8 hour shifts. As long as Skeleton Edeltraut was always there, surely no passerby would notice that they had swapped. And then they went to bed to start in the morning.

The first shift is out there now.

Bad Conscience was waiting up for me last night to have a chat when I came home from sports. Nobody else was around. Seeing Bad Conscience is never a good sign. He was blobbing out on the sofa with his bloated tummy, burping away. Generally he doesn’t say much. You have to start the conversation, otherwise it is just an awkward situation. He sits in one corner regurgitating. You hardly see him, but he makes sure his presence is felt.

“So what’s up?” I tried to be cheerful, knowing very well he had a major concern and I could expect some unpleasant truth.

“You behaved like a girl today” he said and shook his head “Like a girl, girl, a childish girl”

“What do you mean?” I replied, as I really didn’t know what he was trying to say to me.

“You tried to change our behaviour – all the Dede’s behaviour”

“No I didn’t”

“Yes, you did…you did….you are not happy with us, so you want to change us to conform with your worldview.”

“No I don’t”

“Yes you do, you want us to be more intellectual. You said so!”

“Maybe a little” No point denying it, he knows anyway. But once Bad Conscience gets a little foothold by you admitting he is sort of right he goes off like a rocket…

“When will you learn that not everybody can be everything to you! It is not going to happen, Missy! If you need to discuss art, don’t go to Pig, see L’artiste or make a new Art Critique… You can’t make us all intellectuals. Forget it! If we can’t be who we are, we will disintegrate. There will be nothing left of us. pfffffffff” He made the sound of a deflating balloon.

“But…”

“Pffffffff”

“But…”

“Pffffff”

At this stage I gave up. I know him too well. He said his piece and left me to it. No more discussion!