devil and harvey

Harvey is the last contestant in this round of questions. Remember the gambling rabbit that made all Dedes cringe last week? Now he seemed to be a changed puppet. The bounce was gone, he moped along, it looked as if he was dragging his long ears on stage.

“You seem a bit down today, mate” said Devil when he shook Harvey‘s hand to greet him. “I didn’t get a single date last week.” Harvey said cheerlessly.

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes, I am a little. I really don’t understand what women want!….”

Harvey, this is not  a dating competition…. And I am not a psychologist! Let’s just get on with the show!” Devil was visibly uncomfortable that Harvey wanted to speak about his last performance. Harvey plonked himself on the chair and continued talking “…You know this is just how I react in stress situations. Pig freezes and I get loud. Everybody felt sorry for poor old Pig when it happened. It would be nice if you guys could cut me a bit of slack as well. I am really not that bad….”

“Let it go…” Devil butted in “Let’s just move on and see how you go today. Here are your three questions:”

1. What would you like to do for Christmas?

2. Being Christmas and all, what can you do to make the world a better place?

3. What are your plans for next year?

“What would I like to do for Christmas? If I had the money I would take Deutsch Fraulein to Germany. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have to buy a lottery ticket first, but if I win, I’ll take her. She would so love that.” He stopped there for a little and then added more softly: “maybe she would like me then!”

“For the second question, to be honest Devil, what could a little rabbit like me do to make the world a better place? Yes, if I had heaps of money I would set up a big farm and all the kids in the neighbourhood could grow their own food there and their mums would love me for that. There is no question, if I had enough, I would give money to all sorts of charities… But really what can a little rabbit like me do? Particularly one that is broke.”

“What are my plans? I am sure I am going to win the jackpot in 2013! Thirteen is my lucky number. When I have all this money, I will buy a big house and settle down. Maybe Cash Cow can move in with me – living in a garage can’t be too good for her – she could look after my kids. Once I have this big house, the ladies will find me more attractive, and I will find a nice girl who can cook and wants to settle down with me and start a family. I know it will be all good, when I win the lottery.”

Harvey’s eyes glazed over and everybody in the audience could see what a wonderful world he was creating for himself.

How do you rate Harvey’s answers?