Archives for posts with tag: life

fairy naan

Last weekend Fairy Godmother had a fit, because Punch Drunk had offered shortbread as a snack during the photoshoot. It is a far too unhealthy option for her taste. The Dedes were waiting all week for her to make something more suitable. As you can imagine a fairy godmother is pretty busy and nothing was produced.  Whenever she bumped into one of the Dedes she was asked, when she is going to make something. After the 50 oddth time she finally surrendered and made some naan bread to go with a soup last night.

Naan is usually made with yeast. Of course this method needs a bit of time as the dough has to rise. Fairy Godmother of course can’t be bothered to wait around and makes her naan with baking powder. Mouse was very curious as she couldn’t imagine that it would work, but was surprised when she tried the result. Now she is very happy to include this recipe, as the book contains a lot of yeast breads already.

Ingredients

2 cups of flour, ½ teaspoon of salt, ½ teaspoon of baking powder and ½ teaspoon baking soda, ¼ cup of milk, 2 teaspoons of oil.

For the topping some sort of seeds (eg poppy seeds or sesame seeds) or chopped garlic and corriander

1 tablespoon of butter or oil to brush the surface of the bread before serving

Method

Mix the dry ingredients (flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda) together in one bowl and make a well in the middle. In a separate bowl mix wet ingredients (milk and oil).

Pour the liquid mixture into the well. Then work everything into a smooth soft dough by gradually adding the flour from the edges into the liquid. Knead well for 8-10 minutes, adding a little flour if the dough is too sticky.

Place the dough into an oiled bowl, cover with a damp tea-towel and let stand for 10 minutes. Make five or six balls from the dough.

Preheat the grill to medium and place a tray on the upper shelf under the grill to heat up.

Roll the dough balls out quite thinly, sprinkle with the desired topping. Wet your fingertips with water and press into the surface of the dough. (This creates the blisters in the naan). Place the pieces onto the hot baking tray and grill for just 1-2 minutes, or until lightly browned. Brush with butter or oil and serve hot.

DedeRecipeBook.indd

This is a really busy weekend for the Dedes. They all lined up in the studio to get their pictures taken for the Artist’s Survival Cookbook. For a while they’ve been discussing with L’Artiste how to do the imagery in the book. The pics on the blog were only quick snapshots taken on the day when their recipe was baked. Mouse baulked at the idea of re-making everything just to get better shots. She is really annoyed that nobody listened to her when she said, “Do it once and do it right!” Why should she spend more time now, she asked, when she can use her time so much better for the design of the book.

“But don’t you want to have the best possible book?” asked Detail.

“Leave her alone” said Devil. “I can understand, she’s the one who does all the work! There is always a way around it.”

In the end they decided to take new pictures in the studio and present the existing ones as selfies. They asked Mouse to quickly mock a page up to show everyone. She acted coyly at first, as she doesn’t want to show work in progress. She has a long list of things she still has to solve. But the others were adament that the readers need to know they are still working on the book. In the end she succumbed.

 

cool cat hot cross bun

Originally Pavlova wanted to make hot cross buns today.  The buns are a tradition in England as well as in Australia and New Zealand. Having settled in a new country Pavlova is overzealous in her attempts to perfectly fit in and has been talking for weeks about making the buns though she has never made them before. She has also been complaining that you have been able to buy them in the shops almost from Christmas. It came to a head today when Harvey gleefully told her the buns are actually eaten on Good Friday rather than Easter Sunday.  Pavlova doesn’t get facts wrong often. When she does, she is most upset and mopes for weeks. So it didn’t come as a surprise that she left in a huff after Harvey had enlightened her, leaving the other Dedes annoyed that they didn’t get their promised treat. Of course they could have bought them from the shop, but not today. Today is one of only three days in the year when all the shops are closed.

Fortunately Cool Cat stepped forward and said she could make the spicy buns. Like Harvey’s yeast plait, they don’t fit the ingredients list exactly, but because it is such a tradition Mouse turned a blind eye. Apart from raisins you also need cinnamon.

Ingredients for 18 buns:

7 cups of flour (2 cups of whole meal and 5 cups of white flour), 1.5 cups warm milk, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 2 teaspoons yeast, 100 grams butter, 3/4 cup of sugar, 2 teaspoons of cinnamon, 1/4 cup of raisins (or other dried fruit eg cranberries)

Cross: 1/2 cup of flour and 6 tablespoons of water

Glazing: 1 tablespoon sugar and 1 tablespoon water

Method

In a big bowl mix the two types of flour together with a fork. Make a well in the middle. In a pot heat up the milk a little then pour into the well and add the teaspoons of sugar and yeast. Let sit for a 10 mins until the yeast is foamy. Melt the butter in a pot then add sugar and cinnamon.  Then add this mixture to the yeast and flour. Mix to a dough. Transfer to a flat surface and knead well for 5 minutes. Put the dough back into the bowl. Cover with a clean tea towel and let rise for an hour or so.

When it has doubled in size, add the raisins/dried fruit to the dough and knead again until the fruit is well distributed through the dough. Form 18 balls and place them on a baking tray dusted with flour, leaving a little gap between the balls.  Preheat oven to 2000C. Let the buns rise again while the oven is heating up.

For the cross, mix the flour and water and carefully draw a cross with the side of a teaspoon on each of the balls.

Bake in the oven for 20 mins.

Just before they are done, mix the sugar and water for the glazing. Brush on as soon as the buns come out of the oven while they are still piping hot.

This week another unexpected story emerged! It looks like the disgraced EIW is on the way to snapchat stardom. I have to tell you the story:

Midweek she moved to my friend’s office. For the first day she was just sitting around idly. What’s new, I thought, good riddance lazy sod! The next day, though, my friend reported excitedly, that everything changed as soon as Sammy Salsa entered the room. As if EIW had been waiting for Sammy all her life. Sammy is a stylist and EIW is into fashion big time (you can tell by her silly hair thingummy). At last she found someone to talk to and she virtually latched onto him. She was just waiting for her big chance, and did she jump on it or what? She begged him on her knees to make a snapchat film with her. Surprisingly his snapchat friends loved her as well and asked for more.  And here we are. I added the three little films they’ve made so far together. I particularly like the last one, where she is praying. As if she thanks the higher being to have escaped the Dede household. Does she really say “Quick” in the end? Is she worried she has to come back.? No, no, I am happy for her and her new life.

I also noticed, Sammy refers to her as he. It never occurred to me that she might be a fa’afafine. Of course Sammy, who is from Samoa, would immediately recognise one. Sometimes I am really oblivious to what’s going on. But, say, doesn’t she look lively in his hands.

 

td muzzleI am really in a pickle now. Flip’s Top Dog Training Centre has come forward to rescue the abandoned Dede Top Dog, who had been sent – for good reasons I might add – to Beach Haven Siberia (which is my windy and wet backyard). Pavlova, the lab rat, and I were keen to study his demise. So far we have only observed his resistance, his strong will not to give in to our harsh treatment. On the bus home from work I realised how bizarre the whole situation is. One could even claim the story has a blasphemic undertone. I apologise profoundly, it certainly was not intended. In the picture yesterday, Top Dog indeed looks crucified and coincidentally it is the week of Easter. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Mea culpa.

Anyway, to make it clear, a week or so ago I decided to cut Top Dog loose as he is permanently interfering with the hard work the other Dedes do. As the Dedes want to move forward, Top Dog definitely has to go. He is simply incapable of  co-existing peacefully with the rest of the team. Since I always wanted to know how long the Dedes could brave the elements without breaking down (I want to enter a semi-permanent Dede sculpture in an outdoor art exhibition) this seemed to be a good opportunity, and the perfect job, for Top Dog. I did not reckon with how brutal it must appear to my readers, who of course only know half the story and have to make up the rest!

Anyway, while on the bus, I decided my weather experiment can safely come to a conclusion. I know enough. After five days of really heavy rain showers alternating with sunshine, Top Dog is still as hard as a rock and smiling. This gives me the confidence that any Dede sculpture should survive two weeks of outdoor exhibition. Happy with what I found out, I sent a text to the Dedes to take Top Dog down and get him back into the house. At first they were very relieved and commended me for my change of heart and leniency. Funnily enough, by the time I arrived home Top Dog was sitting in the corner, wearing a dog leash and a muzzle. Pavolva reported he was so full of himself again and couldn’t stop boasting about his toughness. The Dedes were exhausted and had heard enough.

It occured to me that mabye it is us who make Top Dog play up. Maybe we make him feel inadequate and he has to constantly re-assure himself of his greatness. The comments on the blog proved he has indeed real friends who like him. Just not us! All of us here are convinced a bit of dog training wouldn’t go amiss. So, if Flip’s Top Dog Training Centre is still prepared to take him on, he is ready to move on to a good home.  Han de Vere might enjoy a companion, but don’t blame me if it goes haywire, you were warned! Top Dog is very big headed, he is twice the size of Han. So watch out! But then you are the professionals.

 

 

EIW goodbye

As you might know, the Dedes help their artist to understand the world at large, and specific situations and people. But sometimes there is nothing to understand, it is just plain absurd. For the first time in their existence some Dedes have to exit. They have to go because they become more trouble than they are worth. There is no other solution. The artist declares defeat. It isn’t the first time that Dedes leave. No, other Dedes have left voluntarily, like Punch too, who is now known by his stage name Han the Vere. Others are sponsored, like Harvey, the obnoxious womaniser. A sponsored puppet is one that has been sold, but still lives with the Dedes in the art cupboard and takes part in films and contributes to the blog.

Today another puppet will leave. This time it will be the lil’Dede Empress in Waiting. EIW, as she is known for short, doesn’t have much grey matter in her little head. Not enough space I guess. She is a selfish little creature and has always been attracted to Top Dog. Well, not so much to Top Dog himself, but the perceived power he has. With Top Dog out in the garden, poor little EIW is now nothing more than a shrinking violet. So she went to the artist and asked, no demanded, to be re-homed. As it happens, a friend of the artist is getting married in a few weeks and for reasons not to be elaborated on, she’ll appreciate receiving EIW’s head on a platter as the perfect wedding present.

So EIW went into the garden to wave good-bye to her old comrade in arms, obviously as happy as can be that she dodged a bullet once more. Ah well, that’s the benefit of being “in waiting”… you are never in the firing line :)

scare crow

Poor old Top Dog is still out there in the garden, exposed to wind, rain and a little sunshine in between. Of course, the other Dedes feel sorry for him and in good old lovey-dovey Dede fashion would like to invite him back into the house. All his past actions and words forgiven and forgotten, in the hope he has learnt his lesson during the wet and dark nights. But this time, the artist put her foot down and said “No”. She needs to have him gone for the sake of the other Dedes. Top Dog’s demise is of course symbolic.

To make use of the figure, the artist donated his head to a scientific experiment, run by Pavlova, the lab rat. They want to find out how long it will take a Dede to turn into something unrecognisable when exposed to the elements. As the puppets are made from paper mache they are unsuitable for an outdoor environment. Though the surface of the head is treated, the artist had expected it will turn into mush with the first heavy rain. It hasn’t. Top Dog has survived four days now and knocking on his head proves he is as strong as ever (it looks like he quite likes being knocked on the head :). At least he is getting some attention). The whole thing might drag on for a while. Meanwhile, the rest of the Dedes have come to accept that Top Dog definitely won’t return. They still find it very unsettling. After all he is a Dede. To ease their grief they are now taking bets on how long it will take before he is finished. We will keep you posted.

top dog scare rain

The plan worked perfectly! Mouse and Devil had to use a tiny trick though. It was important to let Top Dog believe it was his idea to take part in the competition. So they pretended to talk in private about who should represent the Dedes in the Scarecrow competition. You may know, Top Dog is blessed with unbelievably good hearing, far better than any other Dede. (Sometimes they even wonder if he doesn’t have secret listening devices scattered around the place.) As soon as he hears an interesting conversation he pops by and participates, no, takes over. Needless to say, he immediately decided that he is the one and only perfect candidate to become a scarecrow. Mouse and Devil ummed and arred for a little while and finally said they would have to confer with the others and would get back to him. They just went around the corner to the art cup board and watched from afar how Top Dog immediately rummaged through the old rags in the laundry to find himself something to wear. Then he went out to the garden and found a nice position to practise his scarecrow skills, right next to a lovely green pepper for company.

It didn’t take long before it started to rain. Oops. All of a sudden he looked pretty scared.

top dog scare

This is no good. It is more than a month since I have written on my blog. Honestly, the Artist’s survival cookbook is progressing. Not fast, but it is moving forward. It is currently at the design stage. The Dedes had millions of boring meetings to figure out how they should publish it.  You know, those kind of meetings where the discussion goes round and round in circles. Then the meeting is declared over without a tenable outcome and a new meeting has to be called another time. And very quickly a week, then a month, passes by.

You might find it hard to believe, but the Dedes are usually good decision makers. Even though they banter a lot, they know each other’s strength and weaknesses and trust the next Dede implicitly. But then there is Top Dog. Top Dog entered the scene sometime last year and never fitted in. He is adamant he is the best, knows everything better and is not interested in anybody’s opinion unless it coincides with his own. He loves to manage but not in a co-operative kind of way, more like a despot. In short, he wants to run the show and is not interested in what others with arguably more expererience can contribute – unless he directs them to do so. The Dedes quickly figured out his cocksure behaviour was to cover up his own inadequacies. They avoided saying anything that could be construed as disagreement.  When he has the feeling he is being criticised he gets extremely aggressive and loses the plot. Ultimately, the Dedes keep to themselves as they don’t like unnecessary arguments, so they let him do his own thing and he could feel important in front of the mirror. It’s by no means the first time they have had to deal with a difficult compatriot. Though usually the difficult ones come round once they realise the Dedes are a knowledgeable and peaceful bunch who work towards building a comfortable,  non-threatening environment.  Top Dog, however, hasn’t settled. Instead he constantly complains about how he isn’t respected enough. Well, as Philosopher always says: “Respect can’t be demanded, it has to be earned.”

There is a point when even the most patient Dedes has to say “enough is enough”. So, the other day the core team of Dedes, Mouse, Devil and Witch, along with a handful of others got together to discuss what on earth they could do. They realised the presence of Top Dog undermines their work. Their plans have slowed to a near stand – still and the only way to get back on track is if he goes. As it happens, tomorrow is the Scarecrow in the Garden competition here in Beach Haven and Mouse, the keen gardener, suggested to nominate Top Dog to become their representative in the competition. That will make him feel very important, but of course, as it will rain on and off tomorrow, the weather will see to his demise very quickly.

trombocino

Since Traumtanz has left the garden, the Dedes got quiet. There was discussion whether potatoes should be planted in the spot that the boat had occupied. But in the end the Dedes weren’t allowed to seize the patch as the boat might come back one day. So the Dedes focussed on the backyard instead and Mouse was busy planting winter vegetables like kohl rabi and broccoli. While she was out there she discovered the zucchini plants have an infestation of cucumber beetle. This is really bad news as the beetles and their larvae do huge damage to the plants and also carry bacterial wilt organisms. So Mouse was busy collecting beetles and squashing them and removing wilted leaves and fruit when she accidentally cut the stem of the tromboncino. Tromboncino is a climbing zucchini and we just have harvested one fruit yesterday, unfortunately the one in the picture won’t mature, due to Mouse’s inattention. I have never seen them in the shops and I am quite curious how they taste.