Archives for posts with tag: competition

mouse and punch bag

Hurrah, we made it… Today is the day of the last contestant in the ‘Super Dede Competition 2012″ and it is Mouse! She still has to show us her skills. Ah well, we all know her skills, she is the best organiser one can think of. She really can work miracles. Apart from this, we don’t know much about her, she is as quiet as her proverbial church mouse relatives when it comes to revealing anything about herself. She is very good at talking about others. She is a great gossip and strongly believes “gossip makes the world go round, the world go round”.

Even though she is the best organiser in the world, she is pretty stressed in the pre-Christmas period. I have entrusted her with buying all my Christmas presents for the family, and this, believe me, is a major task. Right after Christmas, Mouse not only has to put on a big show for New Year’s, no, there is an even bigger event on the Dede Puppet Calendar…. an important birthday… Devil and fourteen of his Dedes mates turn ONE!  But please refrain from asking Mouse what she has planned for this big event. At the moment she is just  too stressed.

Mouse’s headquarters is in the kitchen and we were not surprised to be invited to meet her there for her skills performance. Mouse held a little speech on how badly the timing was for the ‘Super Dede Competition’, so close to Christmas. She never should have applied to become a candidate and she certainly won’t put her name forward for next year’s show.

“I didn’t have much time to think about what I can show you. Running around like a headless chicken is my forte, but all of you have seen this before. So I thought I’ll let you in on my biggest secret. I will show you how I de-stress!” She ended her speech and we were all curious. Then she opened the pantry door, hopped inside and disappeared into the darkest corner.

“You are not expecting all of us to hop into the pantry, are you?” Detail asked. We heard something rustling in the back. “No, no wait” Mouse called out from the depths of the cupboard. A second later she appeared with a huge punching bag in shape of a …cat!

“I do boxing exercises to keep my fitness up and to relief stress.” She hung the punching bag from the lamp shade and started dancing around it hitting it every so often. It looked very elegant, but I was surprised how vicious some of Mouse’s blows were. I  looked around for my friend Cat, who was somewhere in the crowd. She had quietly slipped to the back of the spectators. When everybody asked if they could have a go, she finally slid out the back door.

cash cow's yoga

Just to update you about what happened yesterday... Pig had to be taken to the vet and was kept in over night for observation. Some of us actually thought Little Smug Devil was part of the show, but I can assure you he wasn’t. He really scared the pants off Pig.

Today is Cash Cow’s turn. The old girl has been walking on air since the Christmas picnic, when L’Artiste showed a little bit of interest in her. I think this might be the reason why L’Artiste all of a sudden craves for the solitude of his studio. He wanted to cheer her up, but didn’t expect her to become obsessed with him. She has been following him around ever since.

Anyway, her place to show off her skills was the yoga mat. We were all sitting around the thing on the floor, while she was showing us her exercises. The incident at Pig‘s performance was still haunting most of us and we weren’t really that attentive in the beginning. And then, to be honest, yoga is not really a spectator sport, is it? Though in the end, when she managed to tie her body up in all sorts of knots and finished off by standing on her head for three minutes, the audience was in awe. Good on you old girl, I say.

pigs modern performance

Pig had invited us to come back to the stage area where all the other performances had taken place. He had written out nice invitation cards and made it all very mysterious. Of course we were extremely curious, as we all know Pig is only good at one thing and that is drinking. While some of the puppets might have a social drink from time to time, Pig gets sloshed pretty much every day. It is a real concern for us all. Apart from this, we have no idea what his prowess is.

When we arrived, only Professor was on stage and next to him was a large object covered in black cloth. There was no curtain or anything else on stage, it looked all bare and cold. Professor introduced himself as Pig’s assistant and explained that Pig had the idea for this, his modern play, the day he was first on stage and froze.  The play is called ‘The Unveiling’. Then he lowered his head to indicate we should be silent.

After an extended period the Professor bowed and harrumphed and very slowly moved towards the big lump and carefully pulled off the cloth. Out came a pig wrapped all over in tin foil, with only a cut-out for the eyes so that we could see it really was Pig. It didn’t move at all. It just sat there, perfectly still, like a statue. Professor started wailing and dancing around the tin-foiled Pig. I honestly didn’t see Pig move, but then I paid more attention to Professor, who screamed and squeaked like he was on a spit. The show was  extremely harrowing and it send shivers down my spine.

Just as everybody started to settle into this strange spectacle, Smug Little Devil arrived in the audience: “Sorry I am late” he said, not even making an effort to lower his voice. Then he looked to the stage and continued: “So, is he finally ready for the barbeque then?”

You could see the panic in Pig’s eyes and his entire body started to quake with fear, but he couldn’t run. He was too tightly packed. Professor saw his distress and immediately started unwrapping (pigs are prone to heart attacks). Someone from the audience called “curtain, curtain”, but of course there wasn’t one. Now it was the audience’s turn to freeze as they watched in horror Pig struggling to get free.

L'artiste painting

Ding-a-ling-a-ling, we are now opening the last round of the “Super Dede 2012” competition. It is skills week this week! The candidates have to present us with something they are good at. They are totally free in what they do, absolutely no limitations.  This will lead up to the ‘Big Finale’, where all the candidates will be on show again with a summary of their performances over the last three weeks. Then there will be some more voting and the winner will be announced! Don’t forget, any comment during the competition will go into the draw for a signed copy of the book Hermit’s web or the few friends I need, I hand-craft myself. The consolation prizes will be 2 packs of Dede postcards (10 each).

Up until now, the stage has been a crammed little area on a coffee table in my living room and Devil had dismantled it to make himself a hammock on Saturday. I guess Devil couldn’t be bothered putting it back into place yesterday, so the organisers (Devil and Detail) decided the candidates can choose their own location this week. At first Detail wasn’t too pleased with the idea. She likes to have everything done properly. But Devil convinced her by saying that some of them might need more space for their performance anyway.

L’Artiste has made a request to be first in this round. He said he is feeling a bit drained by the whole affair. After being on centre stage for this prolonged period, he is now craving for the solitude of his studio. None of the other competitors objected. Secretly they were quite happy that someone had put their hand up. I guess they where too shattered yesterday to rehearse their acts.

So LArtiste invited us into his studio. This is usually a no-go zone for everyone. No-go mainly because the floor is littered with old magazines and stuff. I don’t know how anybody can work in this mess, you absolutely have no space to move. He showed us one of the pieces he is currently working on. And I finally understand why he wears this brightly coloured tunic. I first thought it is a fashion statement, but no, it is because he is one messy puppet. You might know, the Dedes have to share the robes, there are not enough for every one, and L’Artiste is just protecting the dress for the others, so they don’t all look like painters.

Of course, Detail asked L’Artiste about the meaning of his work. He wiggled his way out of an answer and said: “I thought question time was last week… Will the other puppets get asked to explain their work as well?” Detail was not impressed that he tried to dodge her question, I could tell, but L’Artiste left it at this. He is just so confident in himself.

devil hammock

The week of interviewing the candidates has taken its toll. I have never seen Devil so exhausted, honestly. He finally admits, it is not that easy to deal with all the different characters. As soon as he got up this morning, he took down the theatre curtain and made himself a nice hammock in the backyard. I don’t think we will be seeing much of him today.

devil and harvey

Harvey is the last contestant in this round of questions. Remember the gambling rabbit that made all Dedes cringe last week? Now he seemed to be a changed puppet. The bounce was gone, he moped along, it looked as if he was dragging his long ears on stage.

“You seem a bit down today, mate” said Devil when he shook Harvey‘s hand to greet him. “I didn’t get a single date last week.” Harvey said cheerlessly.

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes, I am a little. I really don’t understand what women want!….”

Harvey, this is not  a dating competition…. And I am not a psychologist! Let’s just get on with the show!” Devil was visibly uncomfortable that Harvey wanted to speak about his last performance. Harvey plonked himself on the chair and continued talking “…You know this is just how I react in stress situations. Pig freezes and I get loud. Everybody felt sorry for poor old Pig when it happened. It would be nice if you guys could cut me a bit of slack as well. I am really not that bad….”

“Let it go…” Devil butted in “Let’s just move on and see how you go today. Here are your three questions:”

1. What would you like to do for Christmas?

2. Being Christmas and all, what can you do to make the world a better place?

3. What are your plans for next year?

“What would I like to do for Christmas? If I had the money I would take Deutsch Fraulein to Germany. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have to buy a lottery ticket first, but if I win, I’ll take her. She would so love that.” He stopped there for a little and then added more softly: “maybe she would like me then!”

“For the second question, to be honest Devil, what could a little rabbit like me do to make the world a better place? Yes, if I had heaps of money I would set up a big farm and all the kids in the neighbourhood could grow their own food there and their mums would love me for that. There is no question, if I had enough, I would give money to all sorts of charities… But really what can a little rabbit like me do? Particularly one that is broke.”

“What are my plans? I am sure I am going to win the jackpot in 2013! Thirteen is my lucky number. When I have all this money, I will buy a big house and settle down. Maybe Cash Cow can move in with me – living in a garage can’t be too good for her – she could look after my kids. Once I have this big house, the ladies will find me more attractive, and I will find a nice girl who can cook and wants to settle down with me and start a family. I know it will be all good, when I win the lottery.”

Harvey’s eyes glazed over and everybody in the audience could see what a wonderful world he was creating for himself.

How do you rate Harvey’s answers?

devil and mouse

The next in line for questioning was Mouse. She came running onto the stage and the first thing she said to Devil was that she nearly called in sick. The flu is going around and she feels like she is coming down with something. But she has so much to do. She can’t afford to lie idly in bed for a day or two, as she is trying to organise the Dede Christmas Party. Weather permitting, they all want to go out to the beach somewhere and that is a major undertaking. Forty puppets…. it is not an easy feat.

Devil didn’t say much, he just waited until she had finished talking and settled down a little.

“Take a deep breath, Mouse” he said finally “it will be all fine. Are you ready then?” Mouse nodded eagerly and got her notepad and pen out while Devil read out the three questions.

1. What do you want for Christmas?

“Peace and quiet” Mouse said instantly, but Devil made a sign she should wait until he had finished.

2. If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you like to do?

3. What is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

Mouse waited. It was obvious she thought there must be another question. “In your own time” Devil invited her to give her answers.

“Sorry, what was that again?”

“What do you want for Christmas?” Devil repeated. Mouse laughed hysterically. “I thought that was just chit-chat, but it was the first question.” Mouse got more and more frazzled.

“You said peace and quiet before” Devil reminded her to get her back on track.

“Yes, I personally want to have some quiet time, but don’t you want to know what I want for all the Dedes or the world?”

“The interpretation of the question is totally up to you!” Devil explained. Mouse looked in the air and after a while she succumbed: “No, I can’t think of anything else. I will go with peace. That is what I want for Christmas. So on to the second question… what is the biggest downside….”

‘That was question Number 3, but you can answer it first if you like” Devil interrupted

“No, no, we will do it in the right order. So what was question two again?” she asked. Devil read it out once more: “If you could do whatever you wanted…”

“Yes, yes, yes… Why would I want to do something different? I have a good standing in the Dede world. Everybody knows me, I know everybody. Plenty of things for me to do.  No, I have no wishes to do anything else!”

“You don’t want to see your relatives in Europe, for example?”

“Ahhhhh, is that what you mean? I thought you meant what I want to do for work. You need to be a bit clearer with your phrasing! And no, I don’t want to see my relatives in Europe, how would I get there?”

“So, what’s your answer then?” Devil asked to clarify.

“What is your question?” Mouse countered.

“The question is ‘What would you like to do’….”

“I know, but you need to be a bit more specific”

“But Mouse,” Devil started to get agitated now “the whole idea is that the readers find out something about you. They want to hear how you interpret the question. Otherwise I could ask you closed questions that you can only answer with yes or no!”

As Devil got louder, Mouse noticed she might have pushed it a bit too far. She had no intention to aggravate the host and she backed down: “Okay okay then, my answer is, I am blissfully happy with what I do!”

“Can we move on then?” Devil asked with a sigh of relief  “So your last question is, what is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

“My first thought when I heard the question was that we are not waterproof and can only go out in sunshine, but I will change my mind… The biggest downside of being a Dede is that we are dependent on humans. One in particular, our artist. She made me say all these things, and I came across real ditsy today, didn’t I? So please don’t forget, it wasn’t really me! Honestly, I am not really that ditsy.”

How do you rate Mouse’s answers

devil and L Artiste

L’Artiste was still wearing his unique tunic. He must have copyrighted his appearance as I haven’t seen any other puppets taking up the fad.

When L’Artiste sat down, Devil shuffled the cards to make us believe the questions are random, but honestly, when you’ve heard today’s questions one wonders if Devil rigged it. Isn’t it just a tad suspicious that L’Artiste, of all candidates, got the two questions posted by German artist Jürgen (or was it Buchalov?). But then does it really matter? This round is an exercise about how fast the candidates can think on their feet and finding out more about their personalities.

The first question didn’t go down too well though. Devil read out:

1. Where do you want to be in five years’ time?

As soon as the question was read out, L’Artiste jumped up from his seat shouting indignantly. “What sort of question is that?… Where do you want to be in five years’ time?” He shook his head while pacing up and down. “I am not in a job interview here, am I? How dare you ask me this middle management crap! I am an artist and if I am still alive in five years time, of course I want to be an artist. It doesn’t mean I will still do the same thing as I do today. Who knows what my art will be!” He stopped pacing and smiled at Devil “C’mon, Devil, Challenge me! Give me a question with some beef!”

Devil calmly explained again that all the questions were random before reading out the remaining two;

2. What are the three most beautiful things for a puppet?

3. What do you think about ‘Eden’, the special place humans are longing for?

L’Artiste was obviously a little happier with these and remained seated for the rest of the session.

“The second question, what are the three most beautiful things for a puppet? I can only answer from my personal perspective, as we are all different. Number 1 on my personal list is our very close-knit and supportive network. Number 2 is the mutual respect we have for each other and our ability to kiss and make up. We do have our fights, but they never last terribly long. Number 3 is the space we have from each other. If we need to we can have some time out. We can virtually drop of the planet, but come back some time later when we are ready and are welcomed back with open arms.” He paused for a moment nodding slightly a couple of times, then he continued: “Let me summarise this. The three most beautiful things for a puppet are ONE:  Friendship, TWO: Friendship and THREE: Friendship. No question about it!”

“The third question is right down my alley, isn’t it? I have thought about it a lot. Ever since I first saw Hieronymus Bosch’s painting ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’ as a little whipper snapper.” He turned to Devil and said with a little wink: “But I can assure you Devil, it wasn’t Eden that attracted me to this painting.”

“Does Eden exist, or doesn’t it? If it really existed, we Dedes certainly would be in it. But let’s be realistic, ‘Eden’, ‘Paradise’, ‘Arcadia’, every culture has such a place, different only in name. They are first and foremost places of harmony. Unfortunately, true harmony is a figment of the imagination. As soon as two people, or puppets for that matter, are in the same place there is potential for dissonance. We Dedes certainly strive for harmony and a good place to live, but I don’t think we will ever achieve it. I strongly believe the reason for our existence is to strive and do our best! After all we are only Dedes, just as humans are only human!

What do you think about L’Artiste’s answers?

cash cows question

You might have expected to see Mouse today, but the order of the candidates is pulled out of  a hat, so the next one up was Cash Cow.

Don’t be fooled by her droopy eyes and her circumstances that find her living in a garage. Cash Cow had a rather well received performance last week and if you care to listen, you will realise she still has a lot to offer, even though her udder ran dry.

Devil got up from his seat when Cash Cow appeared and greeted her with a kiss on her cheek. He then waited until she had settled on her seat before he sat down himself and read out the questions she has to answer:

1. If you could be something else, what would you rather be?

2. What is your biggest regret in life?

3. If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

Cash Cow sat quietly for a while. You could see her mulling the questions over in her mind and then finally she moved her rather large pink flower into position and started to speak:

“What would I like to be if I could be something else?” She asked into space “…I would like to be a fountain… To be precise, a fountain of knowledge. It is not so different from being a Cash Cow really, except I would attract a totally different audience, wouldn’t I? Puppets would come to me for my wisdom, not for the money they’d expect. As you know, I am dry… Yes, you can suck a Cash Cow dry – and once this fact was out in the open, my stream of visitors ebbed away as well. I don’t think this could happen to a fountain of knowledge.

“I have to disappoint you with the second question though, my dear. Regret is such a big word. Don’t get bogged down by it. I always live to have no regrets. So if you don’t mind, I will have to pass on this one.”

“With the last question, I have to disappoint you again… I don’t want to be greedy… I am happy with one wish and one wish only!” She paused and Devil looked at her expectantly.

“I would wish for all my future wishes to come true. If this one is granted the other two become obsolete and I could give them away, to someone who really needs them and uses them wisely”, she said with a sparkle in her eye. And it looked as if she was thinking of Pig who certainly would wish for a fridge full of beer. “Not everyone wishes sensibly!” she added after a short giggle.

How do you rate Cash Cow’s answers?

devil pig professor

First up for the second round on stage was Pig again. Remember last week? Pig froze on stage and had a very poor performance. Now Devil had just made himself comfortable with his stack of question cards, when Professor and Pig appeared on stage together. Professor walked up to Devil and whispered something in his ear. Devil shook his head a few times and finally Professor left the stage leaving Pig behind. Devil told me later, that Professor had asked whether he could sit there with Pig as a bit of support for his mate. Pig was still very, very nervous. Devil’s answer of course was a resounding no. However, he promised to keep the questions simple today.

Pig sat down and immediately started staring at a tiny piece of floor right in front of him.

“Are you ready?” Devil asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever will be” said Pig without looking up, but astoundingly confident. Professor must have coached him all last week.

Devil shuffled the question cards and read out three questions for today’s candidate:

1. What are your aspirations in life?

2. What would you consider bliss?

3. What is your biggest fear?

“Can you start from the beginning again, please?” Pig asked. “What do you mean by apparition?”

“Aspiration I said, not apparition. Just tell me what you want to be!”

“I only know what I don’t want to be… I don’t want to become pork chops like any other pig. That’s certainly not how I want to end up. Or as bacon. Professor tells me I have to be careful, particularly now that it is Christmas time. He says it is a dangerous time for a juicy little pig like me and he doesn’t want me to go out by myself with all the barbeques going on.” When he started to talk about Professor he all of a sudden could speak clearly and fluently, but he moved away from answering the question.

“It is certainly a good start, knowing what you don’t want. Isn’t it? Everything else will come with time” Devil said to indicate he deemed the question sufficiently answered. But Pig just looked at him blankly.

“So what would you consider bliss or heaven, then?” Devil repeated the second question as Pig seemed to be lost again.

“A fridge full of cold beer!” Pig answered instantly without consideration.

“That’s it? That is your answer?”

“Yes, I’ll stick to that!”

“Okay and what is your biggest fear?” Devil asked the last question again.

“Ending up as pork chops…” Pig said again, after staring at the floor for a while. Then he looked up. He must have seen Professor standing behind the curtains looking very disappointed, so he quickly added: “And that Professor leaves me. Yes, that is my biggest fear, Professor leaving me. Yes, Professor keeps me safe. So I hope he won’t leave me. This would be disastrous. I might as well become pork chops then…”

“Thank you Pig, that was all very revealing!”

“Was it?” Pig asked, obviously surprised that it was all over so quickly.

What do you think of Pig’s performance this week?