Archives for posts with tag: character traits

pig on show

Yesterday was a rather strange day. There were a lot of unhappy puppets around, such as Monkey, who saw his dreams shattered to smithereens. He is a comedian and would have so loved to show off in the third part of competition. Foxy Lady is convinced she would have out-witted anybody in the second round and Snippedy, the clown, will have to come to terms that his mask doesn’t fool anybody. But that was yesterday… They will get over it and we have to go on with the show!

Last night most of the Dedes assembled in front of the make-shift stage and Devil, the MC, welcomed everybody. He explained again that any comment from readers during the competition will go in the draw for a signed copy of the Dede puppet book: Hermit’s Web or the few friends I need, I hand-craft myself. Then he went on to explain the format: This week the contestants will introduce themselves and every post will have a star rating attached. Devil pointed out the star rating is for the performance of the contestant, not the post! He also instructed me to include the first three comments from the Dede audience in the post.

And then he called Pig on stage.

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. And there was Pig. It stood there and started sweating. Pig had stage fright. It just stood there frozen like a statue. It doesn’t say much at the best of times. We always thought it was because it hangs out with Professor and he does all the talking for both of them. But now it was obvious. Pig doesn’t have anything to say at all. Pig was clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“Boo”, called Monkey from the audience “Boo. I could have done better…” But he was the only one. Everybody else sat there and felt sorry for Pig.

“No heckling, please” said Devil and put his arm around Pig who still just stood there.

“So then, contestant No 1. Why are you here?” Devil asked to get Pig going.

“Dunno. Professor put me forward” Pig answered, barely audible.

“But you must have signed the entry form” Devil pointed  out.

“Must have been drunk!”

“Just tell us something, anything… Where do you come from or is there anything special about you?”

Pig scratched behind his ear and stepped from one foot to the other.

“Well, we were five little piggies, the oldest went to the market. I had nothing. My mum, the sow, didn’t expect much from me anyway. Originally she wanted to call me Elvis, because I, I have Elvis Presley’s eyes. I think that is why I love to drink. Professor says I have beautiful eyes.” It all came out in one big convoluted sentence, but that was it. Pig was quiet again and looked nervously at Devil for approval.

Devil knew that was it, there was no more where this came from. Pig was dry. “Okay give our first contestant a big hand.” Devil said to the audience and clapped his hands. Pig saw his chance and took to his heels.

“Boo” called Monkey again

“Amateur” said Smug Little Devil

“Oh dear,” sighed the Professor “and I thought it would be character building for him”

Rate Pig‘s performance here:

harvey running

I regret the day when I said to Mouse I will take over the administration of the poll. I did this out of the goodness of my heart, to help out a damsel in distress. I thought yeah, that is an easy job, I can do that! I will only have to look at the results and in the end announce the five finalists of the ‘Super Dede’ competition. Gee, did this turn into a real challenge or what? Now I am landed with a decision way outside my comfort zone….

Here is what has happened since yesterday:  Harvey has taken the lead! Even a blind man with a stick can see something fishy is going on here.

First I had to ask Mouse if there is a chance that Mr XL could have manipulated the outcome of the vote in a devious manner. Mouse said, even though she is not entirely techno savvy, she is far more confident on the computer than Mr XL. In her judgement he couldn’t have done it. The poll is set up for one vote per computer. It prevents anybody from sitting there for hours on end and voting for the same puppet over and over again.

Then I had to arrange a meeting with Mr XL to hear his side of the story.

Mr XL assures me he is innocent. He immediately admitted he was asked by Harvey to canvass for him. The rabbit came across as a nice and harmless looking chap, so Mr XL agreed. He rang all his family and friends and asked them to vote for Harvey as well. He only became a bit suspicious when he saw Harvey running up the road to the local betting agency, the TAB, with bundle of notes in his hand.

Mr XL is an ‘old-school’ man of honour. If he gives his word, he will keep it! He admitted he really would have liked to have voted for his soul-mate, Snippedy, the clown. But as he has wasted his vote (and the votes of  his family on Harvey, Snippedy is still sitting on his doughnut (o). Mr XL asked me if I could help him to set up a blog called ‘I am Mr XL’ on which he can defend his honour and explain to the world what happened. I had a hard time talking him out of it (honestly I am not making this up!)  I promised him I will tell my readers about his innocence and we will leave it at this… we won’t prosecute him (He is a human and we don’t have any jurisdiction over him anyway).

That leaves us to deal with Harvey and here I am at my wits end. It is the first time that we are running a show like this and I clearly hear Smug Little Devils‘ words ringing in my ears: “You are a bunch of amateurs!”

“Yes we are! But we tried our best” I only can say. The decision is still to be made whether to disqualify Harvey or not. I don’t want to make this call and I will put it to Devil and Detail, the organisers. They are of course interested in your opinion.

By the way, there was no official complaint about Mouse. Stepping down from the administration of the poll immediately made her a legitimate contender.

Please, if you haven’t voted yet, here is your last chance… The vote closes at midnight New Zealand time and the five final contestants of the competition will be officially announced tomorrow.

Thanks from an exhausted Poll-Administrator!

Now we have a real problem: I suspect Harvey of cheating! Can I say this so bluntly? I’ll tell you the story and ask for your opinion.

Yesterday I bumped into an old friend, I will call him Mr XL here.  Of course I told Mr XL about the ‘Super Dede 2012’ competition and asked whether he has voted. Unfortunately I mentioned the poor loser Harvey, the rabbit with a gambling problem who doesn’t have any supporters at all. At the time I really felt sorry for Harvey, the poor little sod. I explained to my friend that Harvey got his name from a 1950s movie starring James Stewart, called ‘My friend Harvey’. In the film Harvey is actually a pooka, in the shape of a human sized rabbit who can only be seen by a Mr Elwood P Dowd. No, I didn’t see the film when it was first released! However,  Mr XL was very surprised he had never heard of the film even though he could have seen it then.

Strangely enough in the afternoon the votes for Harvey started to rise. He is now – would you believe it – number four! Being a pooka and a gambler I have my suspicions that Harvey went to see Mr XL after I’d left and made a deal with my friend. Knowing Mr XL, who is a real sucker for the underdog, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d agreed to skew the votes in Harvey‘s favour for a couple of beers on Friday night in the RSA or the pub. Ah, it is Friday today… Unfortunately I have a prior engagement tonight, but if anybody spots Harvey and Mr XL in the pub together tonight, I will disqualify Harvey on the spot.

What do you think?

In the meantime, here is the voting form again…

Mouse is unusually quiet at the moment. I know her well enough to know she is extremely hurt by Smug Little Devil’s comment she might have done something unethical. She is very proud of trying to see everybody’s point of view and doing the hard yards to get the best possible outcome for everybody. Sometimes I wonder where this little thing gets her energy from. She must run on some very special batteries. At the moment she behaves very much out of character: While she still does all her other chores, she has asked me to take over the poll. She doesn’t want to go near it.

After a good night sleep – with initially a bit more sobbing – Mouse resigned as administrator of the poll first thing yesterday  morning. It was a really good move, as there was a big surprise yesterday… While Mouse was fifth at the end of the first day… she is now level heading with Cash Cow in first place. It looks to me as if the readers are supporting Mouse and don’t have too much of a problem with her gaffe. My personal inkling is that it must have been an honest oversight.

We had an even bigger surprise… Push Push, the elephant who isn’t on list of candidates – got a vote with two exclamation marks!! So she must have one really strong supporter out there. It is even more astounding as her mug shot is also missing from the ‘Character’ page….What an oversight on my part! Thanks to the person who voted for her it came to light and I will fix it as soon as possible.

Understandably Push Push is dancing around the living room. Have you ever had an elephant doing a jig in your house? That is certainly something you don’t want to experience… I am worried the walls are coming down, but I can’t really ask her to stop…  I would do the same, if I were her.

To be honest I personally wondered why Push Push wasn’t on the list of candidates in the first place. She is such an accomplished performer and without doubt has much more of a presence than, let’s say, Harvey, the depressed gambler (who by the way still doesn’t have a single supporter).

Voting closes on Saturday, so we are half way through….

If you haven’t voted yet – Here is your chance: (The Dedes are getting more and more excited :)

The Dedes are keen to go ahead with some sort of competition and have  been busy yesterday trying to nut out a format. Devil and Detail have just been to see me. They are very excited while I am still half asleep this morning. So I just let them tell me what they have come up with.

They spent all afternoon and the evening consulting everyone about what the competition should be and in the end they discarded the original idea of a ‘Ms Dede’ in favour for a ‘Super Dede’ competition, so not to discriminate against the men who want to take part. First on the agenda is to find their candidates. And here they realised that not everybody is equally keen. When the idea first was aired it sounded as if they were all in. This was a total misconception of course, because the noise level went up with all the cheering and clapping and the ones that quietly shook their heads in disbelief couldn’t be heard.

So today Devil and Detail will be canvassing for candidates. There are some that have already agreed to be candidates, like Cash Cow, who is so broke she could do with the prize money… She doesn’t know yet that there is no prize money. Monkey on the other hand is a comedian and he sees it as his chance to pull in a big crowd and get his break.

Then there are others who don’t want to put themselves out there, but would like to watch the other Dedes making fools of themselves, like Smug Little Devil. He is such an armchair critic. He watches and comments on what they should have done differently. Of course he would do it much better.

Then there is a big crowd that isn’t interested, but thinks if the others believe it is fun they should go ahead – without them. But there are also a few who would like to spoil it for everybody else because it is so brainless, or the ones who would like to take part but are not confident enough. I don’t envy Devil and Detail finding their candidates.

They asked me how many candidates would be an appropriate number and I suggested they should audition 10 and narrow it down to 5 candidates.

We then agreed the Dedes will canvas who wants to take part and then make a preliminary decision. They will put forward ten candidates with a photograph, from which everybody is invited to select their favourites.

What the candidates will actually have to do, Devil and Detail haven’t revealed yet. But they promised, cross my heart, it won’t be singing. We all know the Dedes are crap at that!

Nobody came forward with any ideas about how to stop Smug Little Devil undermining my decision making. …Truth be told, I can’t really act on it yet, as I have only heard the accusations through the grapevine. So I will have to leave it for now. It’s hard though, not to do anything. I have to confess his behaviour irks me greatly. I am confident the Dedes’ allegiance is still with me for now, but for how much longer? I will prick my ears up… and if he should be so silly to give me half a reason I will pounce on him and take him to task. That is the plan! But I know he is a cunning little weasel. He doesn’t trip up easily. I have to be very, very patient.

In my defense, (and this is now an explanation for all the Dedes, who feel they should have been selected for the gallery trip), the idea was to send five puppets who have absolutely nothing in common. They were supposed to be online friends, not real ones. When we tested it for a few weeks in the living room it worked very well. They communicated very nicely via their modems and didn’t look at each other. Instead they looked out into the big wide space before them, but had no idea who they were connected to. Unfortunately in the gallery they managed to turn their heads round and they saw who was on the other end of each modem. I believe that was when the real trouble started. When Ms SM suddenly realised she had opened her heart to a pimply teenage Boy and Smug Little Devil was not chasing that young hot fox, but middle aged Liar. Alien just thought it was a big, big joke and wanted to party!

I apologise, I didn’t think it through… I just acted on my great artistic ideas and ignored the personal pain I might have caused the participants. But then…. get real! When you find yourself on a deserted island, you have to learn to overcome your differences and cherish what you have in common. After all, you are all Dedes, aren’t you!

Phew, now I really worked myself up :), but I feel much better!

When I left work last night, it looked as if I had got all my files back. It took eight hours to transfer the recovered files to a different hard drive. I will have to have a close look at them today. The Dedes were noticeably relieved about the news and they were all very compassionate about my mishap and said nice words. Except for Smug Little Devil  (one of he puppets that just came back from the exhibition).  I had forgotten about his irritating habit of laughing out loud at other people’s mistakes. As if I had deleted the data deliberately. Who would do that? But as if his devilish, and rather arrogant guffaw wasn’t enough, he adds insult to injury by telling you what you should have done in the first place. He always knows and he always knows best.

In the beginning I thought he is quite a nice little puppet, but now, I just want him to shut up. Of course he told me I should set up a back up system that doesn’t take long and doesn’t cost the earth. As if I didn’t know this myself.

Gee, was I happy it was Wednesday and sports night. So I could excuse myself swiftly. When I left I heard him say to the others “You know all she needs is a back up system”

“Let it go!” I heard in various voices.

I am so happy… our heroes from the “Wallace Art Award” came back home yesterday. All the Dedes were excited and organised a ticker tape parade for their return. But boy, were our five travelers exhausted. Actually only four were exhausted and guess who was the chirpy one?

Aliens don’t sleep”, a very grumpy Liar told me, and I think he was telling the truth for a change.

Alien had wanted to party all night, every night! And since the other artworks were very different and a bit stand-offish, he pestered his four friends, who gradually turned into his enemies. Ms SM, who can be a night owl herself, said they got so annoyed with him they even hatched a plan to push him aside, but  he fell off his stick instead. They felt bad about that, but luckily he didn’t break. The next morning the curator came along and put him back up. So they got a few hours reprieve, but didn’t dare try again. From then on they just gritted their teeth. They all agreed it was extremely difficult to live together in those crammed conditions for such a long time (they were away for six weeks). And they pledged never to go on holidays with friends again.

Very much to the disappointment of the Dedes who stayed at home, all the returnees retired early last night. Only Alien was prepared to tell a few more tales, but he had to make a quick phone call first and so went into the garden. When he didn’t come back for ages everybody toddled off, rather disappointed.

What a fizzer of a party! Some of them agreed we will have a proper home coming party on Saturday. If the travelers are up to it, that is!

Yesterday, Chance invited her half-sister Detail and her niece, Minor, for a picnic on my yoga mat. They hadn’t seen each other for months. These two sisters have a really strange love/hate relationship and I normally wouldn’t comment on anything family related, as the puppets can get very defensive when you talk about a close relative.

I have admitted it before, I favour Chance over Detail. Chance is much more relaxed. She doesn’t mind if you ignore her when you are otherwise engaged. She just shrugs her shoulders and says: “Your loss not mine” and leaves.

Detail on the other hand has a knack for driving me up the wall (particularly when I am already stressed). She always wants to have it done her way! Don’t get me wrong, it is good to know her and in less stressful situations – when I have plenty of time and can pay her enough attention – she is really, really lovely. You just need to know how to take her. Let’s face it, Detail wants to be super woman. She is a solo mum and it can’t be that easy with a teenage daughter like Minor. And I suspect she is only so finicky because she actually lacks confidence. She gets a lot of security by spending an exorbitant amount of time on precision.

Bring on Chance the airy fairy one and, I mean, honestly… any outsider can see that this can’t go well. But what can you do if it is family? Well, one thing is for sure, I want to stay out of their arguments. If you get caught in the middle….

Often their bone of contention is around  Minor. Chance doesn’t have kids of her own, so she dots on Minor when she can. Unfortunately Detail thinks Minor has picked up a few bad habits from her aunty. In particular, this very aggravating “wha-ever” response.

Back to yesterday…

True to herself, Chance was late, fifteen minutes or so. This of course set Detail off on the wrong foot. When Chance finally arrived with a bowl of prezel bows, Minor (who has a slight weight issue) dived with her hands into the bowl before it was placed on the mat. Detail exploded immediately, telling her daughter she should pay more attention to her appearance. Chance tried to defuse the situation and said teenagers have to eat a lot.

Detail jumped up and said, “you always undermine what I am doing”, grabbed Minor by the wrist and dragged her out the door.

Chance popped a pretzel bow in her mouth and said: “Ah well. I guess that is it for the next six months”

That was the shortest family reunion I have ever seen!

Chance is one of my favorite Dedes. You couldn’t really call her a  beauty, and she is easily overlooked. I love her for all the different angles she has. She is indeed a very weird bird. Anyway, Chance has been away, staying in the office for while. She was supposed to charm visitors, but Foxy Lady – who was on the same assignment – made a much better impression. Foxy Lady is quite something, but this is a different story… Today it is about Chance and her family.

Chance is footloose and fancy free and has no fixed abode. So you can’t look her up. You have to wait until she comes round to your place to see you. Now, due to her long absence she felt it necessary to meet up with her half-sister Detail and her niece Minor (the sloppy teenage daughter of Detail) for a family reunion. Detail really hates it when Chance just pops in unannounced. No, no, you can’t just pop in and visit Detail, you have to ring a few days ahead, so she can bake a cake and clean the house.

So, Chance was in a bit in a pickle. On the one hand she wanted to see her sister, but she couldn’t just go round to her place. So she asked me if she could invite her relatives to have a picnic on my yoga mat later today. I love to help and said yes, even though personally I think it is not such a good idea. I know Detail will get her knickers in a twist. Chance will forget something  and without doubt I will hear about her gaffe for an entire week.  I can hear Detail already: “Oh this useless sister of mine, she couldn’t even lay the table for the reunion.” But I stay clear of any family matters; Chance and Detail are just like chalk and cheese and Minor doesn’t really help either. Her favorite expression is “Wha-ever”. (Which, by the way, drives Detail bonkers as well.)

While I had Chance there, I asked her opinion on what I should do in regards to the blog. I am a bit concerned that we don’t get that many likes lately. Chance immediately said, the Dedes need to get their art-life balance right.

“You mean work-life balance” I corrected her.

“No” she said, “the work-life balance is for humans… But for us Dedes it is the art-life balance.” and then she explained that although the Dedes are art, they don’t want to be inaccessible and aloof. For them it is really important that everybody can find something in them, independent of gender, age or culture.

“Now this is a tall order” I said “You will never achieve that!”

“You can do but try!” she said and was on her way.