“That is so typical of Witch” complained Daredevil. “She goes on and on about reasons and then buggers off. But what we need are workable solutions. Look, I am tired. I have protested and fought for and against everything under the sun. What we used to do obviously didn’t work, so what now? I am at my wit’s end. Help!”
“And now, here is the last question for you” Detail said. “You are a witch, so why don’t you eradicate evil then?”
“Too right, I am a witch, not the Almighty” replied Witch. “Sadly, I only can try. Just like everyone else.” Then she grabbed her broom and rode off into the sunset, happy to escape the spotlight.
Oops, I left out yesterday’s post. It wasn’t important. It was just, that Mouse got concerned about our 5th anniverary because the Dedes seemed to be more divided than ever before. Detail wanted to push on with her questions to Witch first and then deal with the anniversary. So here is the fourth question: “If there is one thing you could eradicate from the world, what would it be?”
We got a lot of responses from our Instagram readers, but let’s jump straight to Witch’s answer:
“I changed my mind about this one” said Witch, and allowed everyone a quick look into her crystal ball. “Last time I said racism. But now I say we have to eradicate the root of all evil, the narcissists. The ones who believe they are superior to others and the world owes them. These narcissists prey on the vulnerable with promises of riches and power, sow hatred and divide society into good and bad according to their own worldview.”
Then she explained there are not that many true narcissists around. Sadly you can’t argue with them, they will never budge and would rather take the whole world down than admit they were wrong. As for the rest of us we simply have to learn to talk eye-to-eye again. Respect for one another goes a very long way to heal the rift.
Looking at the instagram responses, it appears that yes, taking advantage of an imbalance of power seems to be the gist of it.
“I knew it, I knew it, you wrinkly old bat,” screamed Bossman, “you and your goody-two shoes half-wit friends are against business. We are not supposed to make profit.”
“I beg to differ,” said Witch calmly. “If you’d listened carefully I said ‘I can’t understand that some put profit above’…”
“That is f@$&ing splitting hairs. Go back to your cauldron where you belong!”
Witch turned away and mumbled “this is another thing I don’t get my head around: why do some believe that by screaming personal insults they will be taken seriously. Can anybody enlighten me, please?”
“I can’t get my head around people putting profit over humanity and the environment” said Witch.
This was her answer three years ago and it still is. Now she wonders whether invalidating facts is the feel-good pill for greed. Top Dog goes round like a petulant four-year-old proclaiming Global Warming is a hoax. How can he have the expertise when scientists have spent their lifetime researching?
“Thank you so much for telling us your pet hates” said Witch. “It made me realise I have more than one. But to stick to the truth, three years ago I answered my pet hate is when people judge before they know all facts. I would like to rephrase that for today: I hate when people judge, without even bothering about facts.”
Pirate, another first generation Dede, walked past and believed this was a convention of wise old puppets. He drew on his experience to explain to Witch why some simply ignore facts: “If you are in a manoeuvrable sailboat, of course you find out where the wind is coming from and adjust the sails accordingly. But when you are on a life-raft, it is no longer about plain sailing. Now it is about survival. You ignore the fact you are in shit-street and cling to every little hope.”
“So you think people on the raft have a right to ignore the facts?” queried Detail, who was a bit confused.
“Not at all,” said Pirate, “I believe in solid preparation. While we can’t avoid heavy weather, we have to learn how to cope with it. But once you find yourself on a raft for whatever reason it is too late for that. Tell me honestly, what would you do if a Super-yacht sails by and asks if you need help?”
“That is a hyperthetical question. I never answer hyperthetical questions” responded Detail. “But I can tell you, the most difficult decision is when to abandon ship and go on the raft. The experienced sailor says you have to step up into the raft. When you step down, you left to early.”
Chance’s comment made Witch hot under her collar. “I stick to my values, even if I have to burn at the stake.”
“Let’s see if this is true” said Detail, who is currently re-reading five years of Dede blog for their upcoming anniversary. Yesterday she came across the five questions Devil had ask Witch when they were playing tag-a-Dede in 2013. “I will ask you these questions one-by-one again and let the readers know tomorrow what your answer was,” suggested Detail.
“I know what I’ve said,” replied Witch confidently. “I am more interested in what our readers answer to these questions. So please shoot!”
“Q1: What is your pet hate?”
Chance didn’t get a chance to clarify what she meant yesterday.
Out of the blue, Detail’s half-sister Chance showed up. She always pops up when you least expect it. Both of them are first generation Dedes and haven’t been on speaking terms for a while. Chance didn’t fluff around, reached out to Detail and said, “maybe you and I got too set in our ways. I believe now is the time to re-evaluate every aspect of our being.”
Detail didn’t want to be a party pooper and shook hands, but rolled her eyes. “It’s so easy for you, you have no commitments! I have my daughter Minor to look after and protect.”
Mouse is the Dede administrator who does everything by the rulebook. She too, is at her wits end, but instead of counting on magic, she went to Devil’s Advocate and asked what to do next.
“Even the rulebook gives us some options,” said Devil’s Advocate. “Rest assured, I will watch Top Dog like a hawk. As soon as he gives us half a chance we will impeach him.”
“It’s not as easy as Devil’s Advocate makes it out to be” said Detail who is currently researching for the anniversary of the Dedes. She picked a random conversation where @mdubbya87 asked a legitimate and factual question and reaped a barrage of abuse from a fellow human. The fierceness of the comments alarmed her extremely “How can you have a discussion with someone who is simply not prepared to debate?” she asked and added  “it’s by no means an American phenomenon. We are living in a time where facts have become totally irrelevant… ”
“Shut up, Detail! No-one is interested in your waffle,” called Norman T Newbie from somewhere in the dark.
Top Dog was very happy of course. He had achieved what he so desperately wanted and that was it. No more work required from him. He can rest on his laurels now and let his minions to the work. The Dedes who had supported him sprang into action making the best use of their new power. Someone suggested that a sovereign had the right to mint and issue coins. In an era when images were as rare as hen’s teeth, this used to be the most important propaganda vehicle. The subordinates had to look at the ruler every time they traded. The idea of printing money appealed tremendously to Top Dog, but he is business savvy and had an inkling that in a world of electronic transactions it wouldn’t fly.
“I can tell you what would be much more effective,” said Norman T Newbie, who is eager to earn brownie points. “Print your image and your programme on a coffee mug and all those urban people who dislike you so much will be reminded of you daily.” He even had ordered a sample.
“Good thinking, my man” said Top Dog as he admired his photo. “I promote you to chief-advisor.” (Mugs available at http://zazzle.com/dededesign*)
The other camp was in total shambles. Yesterday Devil found Foxy Lady at the edge of the cabinet. “What are you doing here, my love?” he asked, dragging her away from the abyss. “I don’t know myself anymore” she said depressed.
“What makes you say that?”
“At first I felt so helpless and angry about Top Dog’s speeches that I wanted to push him of his shelf. It was totally against my nature and I felt so bad I had to run away. And now, hearing more speeches, I am angry I didn’t succeed.”
“Don’t worry, most of us would feel the same” said Devil and gave her a big hug.
Devil thought it might be an idea to consult Esta Blished, the fairy godmother. Remember the old lady suffers from Alzheimers and has forgotten how to cast a spell. Back in August she had mumbled some interesting words, that didn’t make sense at the time. In the light of recent events, though, they are perfectly clear. When Devil arrived at her place she was lying on the floor cursing and swearing. He rushed to her aid. Angry and embarrassed about her fall, she pushed him away and screamed “Oh, man, it takes more than one devil to get me on my feet again. Where the heck is my magic wand!”
There is obviously some fighting spirit left in the Esta.
dedepuppets 