Archives for posts with tag: story

EIW goodbye

As you might know, the Dedes help their artist to understand the world at large, and specific situations and people. But sometimes there is nothing to understand, it is just plain absurd. For the first time in their existence some Dedes have to exit. They have to go because they become more trouble than they are worth. There is no other solution. The artist declares defeat. It isn’t the first time that Dedes leave. No, other Dedes have left voluntarily, like Punch too, who is now known by his stage name Han the Vere. Others are sponsored, like Harvey, the obnoxious womaniser. A sponsored puppet is one that has been sold, but still lives with the Dedes in the art cupboard and takes part in films and contributes to the blog.

Today another puppet will leave. This time it will be the lil’Dede Empress in Waiting. EIW, as she is known for short, doesn’t have much grey matter in her little head. Not enough space I guess. She is a selfish little creature and has always been attracted to Top Dog. Well, not so much to Top Dog himself, but the perceived power he has. With Top Dog out in the garden, poor little EIW is now nothing more than a shrinking violet. So she went to the artist and asked, no demanded, to be re-homed. As it happens, a friend of the artist is getting married in a few weeks and for reasons not to be elaborated on, she’ll appreciate receiving EIW’s head on a platter as the perfect wedding present.

So EIW went into the garden to wave good-bye to her old comrade in arms, obviously as happy as can be that she dodged a bullet once more. Ah well, that’s the benefit of being “in waiting”… you are never in the firing line :)

top dog scare rain

The plan worked perfectly! Mouse and Devil had to use a tiny trick though. It was important to let Top Dog believe it was his idea to take part in the competition. So they pretended to talk in private about who should represent the Dedes in the Scarecrow competition. You may know, Top Dog is blessed with unbelievably good hearing, far better than any other Dede. (Sometimes they even wonder if he doesn’t have secret listening devices scattered around the place.) As soon as he hears an interesting conversation he pops by and participates, no, takes over. Needless to say, he immediately decided that he is the one and only perfect candidate to become a scarecrow. Mouse and Devil ummed and arred for a little while and finally said they would have to confer with the others and would get back to him. They just went around the corner to the art cup board and watched from afar how Top Dog immediately rummaged through the old rags in the laundry to find himself something to wear. Then he went out to the garden and found a nice position to practise his scarecrow skills, right next to a lovely green pepper for company.

It didn’t take long before it started to rain. Oops. All of a sudden he looked pretty scared.

top dog scare

This is no good. It is more than a month since I have written on my blog. Honestly, the Artist’s survival cookbook is progressing. Not fast, but it is moving forward. It is currently at the design stage. The Dedes had millions of boring meetings to figure out how they should publish it.  You know, those kind of meetings where the discussion goes round and round in circles. Then the meeting is declared over without a tenable outcome and a new meeting has to be called another time. And very quickly a week, then a month, passes by.

You might find it hard to believe, but the Dedes are usually good decision makers. Even though they banter a lot, they know each other’s strength and weaknesses and trust the next Dede implicitly. But then there is Top Dog. Top Dog entered the scene sometime last year and never fitted in. He is adamant he is the best, knows everything better and is not interested in anybody’s opinion unless it coincides with his own. He loves to manage but not in a co-operative kind of way, more like a despot. In short, he wants to run the show and is not interested in what others with arguably more expererience can contribute – unless he directs them to do so. The Dedes quickly figured out his cocksure behaviour was to cover up his own inadequacies. They avoided saying anything that could be construed as disagreement.  When he has the feeling he is being criticised he gets extremely aggressive and loses the plot. Ultimately, the Dedes keep to themselves as they don’t like unnecessary arguments, so they let him do his own thing and he could feel important in front of the mirror. It’s by no means the first time they have had to deal with a difficult compatriot. Though usually the difficult ones come round once they realise the Dedes are a knowledgeable and peaceful bunch who work towards building a comfortable,  non-threatening environment.  Top Dog, however, hasn’t settled. Instead he constantly complains about how he isn’t respected enough. Well, as Philosopher always says: “Respect can’t be demanded, it has to be earned.”

There is a point when even the most patient Dedes has to say “enough is enough”. So, the other day the core team of Dedes, Mouse, Devil and Witch, along with a handful of others got together to discuss what on earth they could do. They realised the presence of Top Dog undermines their work. Their plans have slowed to a near stand – still and the only way to get back on track is if he goes. As it happens, tomorrow is the Scarecrow in the Garden competition here in Beach Haven and Mouse, the keen gardener, suggested to nominate Top Dog to become their representative in the competition. That will make him feel very important, but of course, as it will rain on and off tomorrow, the weather will see to his demise very quickly.

trombocino

Since Traumtanz has left the garden, the Dedes got quiet. There was discussion whether potatoes should be planted in the spot that the boat had occupied. But in the end the Dedes weren’t allowed to seize the patch as the boat might come back one day. So the Dedes focussed on the backyard instead and Mouse was busy planting winter vegetables like kohl rabi and broccoli. While she was out there she discovered the zucchini plants have an infestation of cucumber beetle. This is really bad news as the beetles and their larvae do huge damage to the plants and also carry bacterial wilt organisms. So Mouse was busy collecting beetles and squashing them and removing wilted leaves and fruit when she accidentally cut the stem of the tromboncino. Tromboncino is a climbing zucchini and we just have harvested one fruit yesterday, unfortunately the one in the picture won’t mature, due to Mouse’s inattention. I have never seen them in the shops and I am quite curious how they taste.

quiche mouse

Evan G List, the vegan Dede, complained to Cash Cow that most of the recipes have dairy products in them. It’s either butter, milk or both. He doesn’t eat that stuff. Cash Cow said she was raised on it and she wouldn’t like to miss it, though she herself is vegetarian. Then Mouse came along carrying a plate and said that while she doesn’t eat much she does eat everything. That is just her nature. Evan G looked at her in disgust. Mouse explained she comes from a long line of church mice. Her family was so poor they had to eat what they could find. She still appreciates food and is grateful for what she gets. “It’s lucky if you have a choice” she added. “But but you know, if you don’t want to eat dairy, you can make a short pastry with oil instead of butter. I’ve just tried it and here is the result.” She pointed at a slice of quiche on her plate.

It did look delicious. “What’s on it?” Evan G asked suspiciously.

“Left overs from last night’s dinner again. We had mashed potatoes with garden vegetables. But there wasn’t enough left over, so I put sliced tomato on top of the left overs, added two eggs and sprinkled grated cheese over it.”

“Here we go again” said Evan G. “There is cheese and egg on it. No, not for me, thank you.”

“I mean, the base is vegan” said Mouse. “You can choose your own topping. Whatever you like to eat.”

Ingredients

1 cup of flour, 1/4 cup of oil, 1/2 teaspoon of salt (optional), cold water.

1 tart baking tray. The dough is enough for a 12cm x 35cm rectangular tray.

Method

Preheat the oven to 200oC

Place the flour on a flat surface, mix in the salt if you use salt. Pour in oil little by little and work into the flour with your fingertips. It will look like fine semolina when you are done. Add a little cold water and knead. Add only as much water needed to make the dough stick together nicely. Let it rest in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Note: Mouse made the dough after breakfast and left it in the fridge till lunch time. An oil-based dough doesn’t go as hard as one made with butter when it is left longer in the fridge.

Roll out the dough and place on the tart baking tray. Press the dough up the sides to get a bit of a lip at the edge. This prevents the filling from seeping out. Add your choice of filling.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes.

 

cash cow and mouse

Mouse has been busy looking after the garden this week. We had a spell of high winds that wrecked havoc with the vegetable patch. Anyway, while she was out there tidying up she thought about the Artist’s survival cookbook and how she could define what recipes should be eligible for inclusion and what should be excluded. It’s a pretty hard decision. As you may have realised, Mouse has trouble saying no to anyone. It came to a crunch when Punch Drunk made a “milk tert”. All the Dedes loved the recipe and wanted to have it included. But somehow it didn’t sit right with Mouse, who is the edtior of the book. So it was good for her to get out into the garden, raking and hoeing and thinking it through.

Last night she came back inside and said, “Okay!” The intonation of this word was so firm and definitive, that all the Dedes turned around and listened. Mouse was surprised by the attention she got and continued: “Our aim is to make a cook book with simple, cheap but delicious recipes that contain mainly flour and water.  They might also have milk, egg, butter or oil in them which are considered basic foods. As you all know, I am not a big fan of sugar, but if a recipe requires a little sugar, that’s fine too. First and foremost, the main ingredient should be flour.” Punch Drunk knew this meant the milk tert is out, as it is bascially milk and sugar with eggs and a little flour. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fair enough! I can still make it for the Dedes when I feel like it.”

“Right” said Cash Cow. “I wanted to make a silverbeet quiche this weekend because the silverbeet is growing like there is no tomorrow and I believe a pie or quiche base should be in the book. But then the main ingredient will be silverbeet. Shall I forget about it?”

Mouse looked insecure again. Obviously in her mind it was very clear what she wanted, but Cash Cow had a point.

Philosopher came to Mouse’s aid. A pie base should definitely be in the book. It is such a basic and versatile recipe. You can have so many different toppings on your pie. The silverbeet is just one suggestion, isn’t it. What’s important is that you know how to make the base.”

Mouse agreed.

giant zucchini

Punch Drunk has figured out what went wrong with his recipe. It was just a tad too runny. But he still liked what he cooked and it got eaten anyway. Last night he finally caught up with Mouse and wanted tell her about his findings and discuss the amendments to the recipe. She wasn’t particularly interested. She was standing next to a giant zucchini she had just found in the garden and scratching her head. It took Devil, Witch and her half an hour to carry it from the garden into the kitchen on the first floor, as it weights a whopping 2700 grams. That is far more than the three of them together. Not surprisingly they were puffing, cursing and swearing while they heaved it up from one step to the next. “I don’t know what I can do with that one” said Mouse when they finally had it on the chopping board. “I have no idea how I could have overlooked it. It’s grown so big!”

Just as a reminder, the photo below shows Mouse proudly presenting the first zucchini of the season just after Christmas. And the Dedes have been eating zucchini ever since.

first zucchini

 

punch cake

The other day, Australian Punch sent us a recipe Judy had asked him to pass on. It is a South African recipe with Dutch roots and sounded really good. Punch Drunk immediately held his hand up to try it and report back. After all, they are namesakes, though all the Dedes believe Punch Drunk got a few more whacks over his head by his Judy. This morning he counted how many eggs we had in the egg bowl, and yes, there were enough. He checked all the other ingredients as well and put them on the counter. Everything was there, except for vanilla essence. Then he copied the recipe from the message and showed it to Mouse for approval. “That sounds yummy indeed” Mouse said. “However, there might be a bit too much sugar in it and then I am not sure about the vanilla essence.”

“I found a passion fruit in the fridge. Could I use this for flavour?” asked Punch Drunk. Mouse recommended that when one cooks a recipe for the first time one should actually stick to the recipe to experience how the result should look and taste. The next time he could make changes. While they were discussing the passion fruit, Mouse noticed that in the recipe the eggs were separated and beaten separately. “Make sure” she reminded Punch Drunk “that no egg yolk gets into the egg whites and you need to beat the whites until they form stiff peaks. If the egg white is spoilt, with even the tiniest amount of yolk, it won’t happen. Also, clean your egg beater thoroughly should you beat anything that contains fat before you do the whites.” Punch Drunk listened carefully and nodded. He was rearing to get to work. Mouse left the kitchen to do other things.

So he followed the recipe and when he was half way through, he realised there was milk on the ingredient list, but it didn’t say at what point to add it. He called out to Mouse for help, but she was nowhere to be seen. “Ah well,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll just do what I think” and added the milk and the passion fruit as well. It’s better to continue than throw out some perfectly good eggs and starting again.

When the cake came out of the oven it smelt delicious but was a bit runny. So he decided not to publish the recipe just yet and confer with Australian Punch first to see where he went wrong.

 

pavlova scale2

Today is a public holiday in New Zealand. Waitangi Day. The day when, in 1840, the treaty between indigenous Maori and a representative of the crown was signed, putting the land under the protectorate of the English. Pavlova thought it was a good idea to celebrate the day with a cake and mentioned it to Mouse. Of course Mouse immediatly thought Pavlova would want to make the cake after which she is named. “Pavolva doesn’t fit into the flour and water concept at all” she said, perhaps a little too snobbishly.

“Just don’t assume” Pavlova, who is a scientist, camly said. “I am very well aware that pavlova is made of eggwhite and sugar. No, I want to make a sponge log.” Mouse felt a little bad and didn’t ask any further questions. She just held her hand out for the recipe. After she read through it, she said, “You know, we use cups as measurements, you use grams. That will confuse our readers!”

Pavlova threw her head back and said huffly, “I am a scientist, I don’t work with cups.”

Mouse didn’t want to push it and thought she might change the recipe when she edits it later. Instead she said to Pavlova, “There is no fat in it. That’s a good one for all the fat-phobic people.”

“Sugar is as bad as fat” commented Pavlova “and anyway, you have to fill the log. The easiest way is to whip up some cream and add fresh fruit. My favourite is a custard filling, I use Daredevil’s recipe. You could also just spread jam on it if you have nothing else on hand.”

Ingredients

3 eggs, 5 Tablespoons of water, 150g sugar, 100g wheat flour, 50g corn flour, 1 teaspoon of baking powder.

Baking paper, clean tea towel.

Method

Preheat the oven to 2200C. Put baking paper on a tray.

In a big bowl mix water and eggs and beat it with an electric beater on the fastest speed for a minute. It will become foamy. Then very slowly pour in sugar while continuing to beat. In this process the egg mixture starts to thicken. Once all the sugar added continue beating for another 2 minutes.

Mix the two flours and the baking powder and sieve half of the flour mixture onto the egg mixture. Without stirring too much, fold into the egg mixture (this can be done with the electric beater on the slowest speed, or with a spoon). Continue with the rest of the flour in the same way.

Pour the batter onto the baking paper that’s on the tray and put in the oven for 12 minutes.

When it comes out of the oven, place the sponge cake on a clean tea towel and roll the tea towel and cake up. Let it cool. Once it is cool, carefully unroll, remove the tea towel and spread the filling of your choice on sponge cake and roll it up again.

 

mouse and witch

Witch went to Mouse and said, “You are right!” Mouse was staggered as she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.

“I agree, we shouldn’t include the teff custard in the book” she explained. “Why the sudden change?” Mouse asked her friend. And then Witch told her that she had just read an article about teff being currently en vogue with Hollywood stars. So the demand is rising and will rise even further. However, it is also one of the basic foods in Ethiopia, where half the population  lives on less than a dollar a day. As the carbohydrates in teff are absorbed slowly people can eat their national dish injera, a sour dough bread made from teff, and then work all day without getting hungry. The Ethiopian government is now expecting a price explosion due to increased demand from the Western World, akin to what happened when quinoa all of a sudden became popular a few years back. This might result in hunger and malnourishment in the poorer population of Ethopia. As a measure, the government has currently banned exports of teff except with a special license.

“I wonder if you can obtain a special license when you give money to a government official?” asked Mouse.

“That’s not my main concern, but you might have a point there” said Witch. “Teff is certainly a very healthy food, but we in the West don’t run the risk of starvation, particularly not the Hollywood lot. Luckily, teff is a relatively hardy plant, but I understand it is time consuming to look after and process. Personally, I will forgo my desire for teff until other cultivating areas have been established – but not in a Monsanto type of way.”