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Mouse on stage

December 13, 2012 //
2

devil and mouse

The next in line for questioning was Mouse. She came running onto the stage and the first thing she said to Devil was that she nearly called in sick. The flu is going around and she feels like she is coming down with something. But she has so much to do. She can’t afford to lie idly in bed for a day or two, as she is trying to organise the Dede Christmas Party. Weather permitting, they all want to go out to the beach somewhere and that is a major undertaking. Forty puppets…. it is not an easy feat.

Devil didn’t say much, he just waited until she had finished talking and settled down a little.

“Take a deep breath, Mouse” he said finally “it will be all fine. Are you ready then?” Mouse nodded eagerly and got her notepad and pen out while Devil read out the three questions.

1. What do you want for Christmas?

“Peace and quiet” Mouse said instantly, but Devil made a sign she should wait until he had finished.

2. If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you like to do?

3. What is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

Mouse waited. It was obvious she thought there must be another question. “In your own time” Devil invited her to give her answers.

“Sorry, what was that again?”

“What do you want for Christmas?” Devil repeated. Mouse laughed hysterically. “I thought that was just chit-chat, but it was the first question.” Mouse got more and more frazzled.

“You said peace and quiet before” Devil reminded her to get her back on track.

“Yes, I personally want to have some quiet time, but don’t you want to know what I want for all the Dedes or the world?”

“The interpretation of the question is totally up to you!” Devil explained. Mouse looked in the air and after a while she succumbed: “No, I can’t think of anything else. I will go with peace. That is what I want for Christmas. So on to the second question… what is the biggest downside….”

‘That was question Number 3, but you can answer it first if you like” Devil interrupted

“No, no, we will do it in the right order. So what was question two again?” she asked. Devil read it out once more: “If you could do whatever you wanted…”

“Yes, yes, yes… Why would I want to do something different? I have a good standing in the Dede world. Everybody knows me, I know everybody. Plenty of things for me to do.  No, I have no wishes to do anything else!”

“You don’t want to see your relatives in Europe, for example?”

“Ahhhhh, is that what you mean? I thought you meant what I want to do for work. You need to be a bit clearer with your phrasing! And no, I don’t want to see my relatives in Europe, how would I get there?”

“So, what’s your answer then?” Devil asked to clarify.

“What is your question?” Mouse countered.

“The question is ‘What would you like to do’….”

“I know, but you need to be a bit more specific”

“But Mouse,” Devil started to get agitated now “the whole idea is that the readers find out something about you. They want to hear how you interpret the question. Otherwise I could ask you closed questions that you can only answer with yes or no!”

As Devil got louder, Mouse noticed she might have pushed it a bit too far. She had no intention to aggravate the host and she backed down: “Okay okay then, my answer is, I am blissfully happy with what I do!”

“Can we move on then?” Devil asked with a sigh of relief  “So your last question is, what is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

“My first thought when I heard the question was that we are not waterproof and can only go out in sunshine, but I will change my mind… The biggest downside of being a Dede is that we are dependent on humans. One in particular, our artist. She made me say all these things, and I came across real ditsy today, didn’t I? So please don’t forget, it wasn’t really me! Honestly, I am not really that ditsy.”

How do you rate Mouse’s answers

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

Questions for L’Artiste

December 12, 2012 //
8

devil and L Artiste

L’Artiste was still wearing his unique tunic. He must have copyrighted his appearance as I haven’t seen any other puppets taking up the fad.

When L’Artiste sat down, Devil shuffled the cards to make us believe the questions are random, but honestly, when you’ve heard today’s questions one wonders if Devil rigged it. Isn’t it just a tad suspicious that L’Artiste, of all candidates, got the two questions posted by German artist Jürgen (or was it Buchalov?). But then does it really matter? This round is an exercise about how fast the candidates can think on their feet and finding out more about their personalities.

The first question didn’t go down too well though. Devil read out:

1. Where do you want to be in five years’ time?

As soon as the question was read out, L’Artiste jumped up from his seat shouting indignantly. “What sort of question is that?… Where do you want to be in five years’ time?” He shook his head while pacing up and down. “I am not in a job interview here, am I? How dare you ask me this middle management crap! I am an artist and if I am still alive in five years time, of course I want to be an artist. It doesn’t mean I will still do the same thing as I do today. Who knows what my art will be!” He stopped pacing and smiled at Devil “C’mon, Devil, Challenge me! Give me a question with some beef!”

Devil calmly explained again that all the questions were random before reading out the remaining two;

2. What are the three most beautiful things for a puppet?

3. What do you think about ‘Eden’, the special place humans are longing for?

L’Artiste was obviously a little happier with these and remained seated for the rest of the session.

“The second question, what are the three most beautiful things for a puppet? I can only answer from my personal perspective, as we are all different. Number 1 on my personal list is our very close-knit and supportive network. Number 2 is the mutual respect we have for each other and our ability to kiss and make up. We do have our fights, but they never last terribly long. Number 3 is the space we have from each other. If we need to we can have some time out. We can virtually drop of the planet, but come back some time later when we are ready and are welcomed back with open arms.” He paused for a moment nodding slightly a couple of times, then he continued: “Let me summarise this. The three most beautiful things for a puppet are ONE:  Friendship, TWO: Friendship and THREE: Friendship. No question about it!”

“The third question is right down my alley, isn’t it? I have thought about it a lot. Ever since I first saw Hieronymus Bosch’s painting ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’ as a little whipper snapper.” He turned to Devil and said with a little wink: “But I can assure you Devil, it wasn’t Eden that attracted me to this painting.”

“Does Eden exist, or doesn’t it? If it really existed, we Dedes certainly would be in it. But let’s be realistic, ‘Eden’, ‘Paradise’, ‘Arcadia’, every culture has such a place, different only in name. They are first and foremost places of harmony. Unfortunately, true harmony is a figment of the imagination. As soon as two people, or puppets for that matter, are in the same place there is potential for dissonance. We Dedes certainly strive for harmony and a good place to live, but I don’t think we will ever achieve it. I strongly believe the reason for our existence is to strive and do our best! After all we are only Dedes, just as humans are only human!

What do you think about L’Artiste’s answers?

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Categories Art

Cash Cow’s wisdom

December 11, 2012 //
7

cash cows question

You might have expected to see Mouse today, but the order of the candidates is pulled out of  a hat, so the next one up was Cash Cow.

Don’t be fooled by her droopy eyes and her circumstances that find her living in a garage. Cash Cow had a rather well received performance last week and if you care to listen, you will realise she still has a lot to offer, even though her udder ran dry.

Devil got up from his seat when Cash Cow appeared and greeted her with a kiss on her cheek. He then waited until she had settled on her seat before he sat down himself and read out the questions she has to answer:

1. If you could be something else, what would you rather be?

2. What is your biggest regret in life?

3. If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

Cash Cow sat quietly for a while. You could see her mulling the questions over in her mind and then finally she moved her rather large pink flower into position and started to speak:

“What would I like to be if I could be something else?” She asked into space “…I would like to be a fountain… To be precise, a fountain of knowledge. It is not so different from being a Cash Cow really, except I would attract a totally different audience, wouldn’t I? Puppets would come to me for my wisdom, not for the money they’d expect. As you know, I am dry… Yes, you can suck a Cash Cow dry – and once this fact was out in the open, my stream of visitors ebbed away as well. I don’t think this could happen to a fountain of knowledge.

“I have to disappoint you with the second question though, my dear. Regret is such a big word. Don’t get bogged down by it. I always live to have no regrets. So if you don’t mind, I will have to pass on this one.”

“With the last question, I have to disappoint you again… I don’t want to be greedy… I am happy with one wish and one wish only!” She paused and Devil looked at her expectantly.

“I would wish for all my future wishes to come true. If this one is granted the other two become obsolete and I could give them away, to someone who really needs them and uses them wisely”, she said with a sparkle in her eye. And it looked as if she was thinking of Pig who certainly would wish for a fridge full of beer. “Not everyone wishes sensibly!” she added after a short giggle.

How do you rate Cash Cow’s answers?

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

Pig again

December 10, 2012 //
6

devil pig professor

First up for the second round on stage was Pig again. Remember last week? Pig froze on stage and had a very poor performance. Now Devil had just made himself comfortable with his stack of question cards, when Professor and Pig appeared on stage together. Professor walked up to Devil and whispered something in his ear. Devil shook his head a few times and finally Professor left the stage leaving Pig behind. Devil told me later, that Professor had asked whether he could sit there with Pig as a bit of support for his mate. Pig was still very, very nervous. Devil’s answer of course was a resounding no. However, he promised to keep the questions simple today.

Pig sat down and immediately started staring at a tiny piece of floor right in front of him.

“Are you ready?” Devil asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever will be” said Pig without looking up, but astoundingly confident. Professor must have coached him all last week.

Devil shuffled the question cards and read out three questions for today’s candidate:

1. What are your aspirations in life?

2. What would you consider bliss?

3. What is your biggest fear?

“Can you start from the beginning again, please?” Pig asked. “What do you mean by apparition?”

“Aspiration I said, not apparition. Just tell me what you want to be!”

“I only know what I don’t want to be… I don’t want to become pork chops like any other pig. That’s certainly not how I want to end up. Or as bacon. Professor tells me I have to be careful, particularly now that it is Christmas time. He says it is a dangerous time for a juicy little pig like me and he doesn’t want me to go out by myself with all the barbeques going on.” When he started to talk about Professor he all of a sudden could speak clearly and fluently, but he moved away from answering the question.

“It is certainly a good start, knowing what you don’t want. Isn’t it? Everything else will come with time” Devil said to indicate he deemed the question sufficiently answered. But Pig just looked at him blankly.

“So what would you consider bliss or heaven, then?” Devil repeated the second question as Pig seemed to be lost again.

“A fridge full of cold beer!” Pig answered instantly without consideration.

“That’s it? That is your answer?”

“Yes, I’ll stick to that!”

“Okay and what is your biggest fear?” Devil asked the last question again.

“Ending up as pork chops…” Pig said again, after staring at the floor for a while. Then he looked up. He must have seen Professor standing behind the curtains looking very disappointed, so he quickly added: “And that Professor leaves me. Yes, that is my biggest fear, Professor leaving me. Yes, Professor keeps me safe. So I hope he won’t leave me. This would be disastrous. I might as well become pork chops then…”

“Thank you Pig, that was all very revealing!”

“Was it?” Pig asked, obviously surprised that it was all over so quickly.

What do you think of Pig’s performance this week?

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Categories Art, Hand Puppets, Life, Relationships

Silly Season

December 9, 2012 //
6

deutsch fraulein fridge

Philosopher raised his concerns yesterday that Deutsch Fraulein is missing the German pre-Christmas period. If you have ever visited Germany in  Advent, you will know what he is talking about. Christmas is the winter feast of warmth and comfort in the midst of cold and darkness. If you look past the commercial side of it, it is really something: The snow, the glittering lights in the dark, the spice filled air. The Germans are one lucky folk in that they don’t have Sunday trading yet (or at least they didn’t have it last time I was there). Sundays are still days of contemplation, particularly in winter when the body wants to go into hibernation.

Here Downunder we call the pre-Christmas time the ‘silly season’. I always thought it is because you have to go to an endless line-up of barbeques and office parties, which of course goes hand in hand with drinking copious amounts of alcohol and being silly.  I only recently found out ‘silly season’ is an historic newspaper term from the Northern Hemisphere and it describes the time of year when parliament is  in recess and the newspapers have to come up with other (less important) stories to fill their pages. Of course Christmas and the long summer holidays coincide here. And come to think of it in terms of newspapers, silly season is all year round here.

For me personally, Christmas in the sun has lost its meaning. It is totally debased and what is left is one gigantic commercial feast. Needless to say it passes me by. I am out in the sun enjoying life. Come next winter and the coldness, I am back contemplating.

But I do understand Deutsch Fraulein (German Girl). She reads all these German blogs and gets terrible cravings for a good solid Christmas. So I thought as consolation I will buy here a ‘Stollen’, which is a special German Christmas cake with marzipan in it. To keep it fresh I put it in the fridge. Somebody must have told her. Next time I looked in the fridge, there she was, attacking the Stollen with a fork. She was so keen she hadn’t even taken the plastic off. She obviously found the perfect dark and cold place and is now devouring the comfort food. I hope she doesn’t forget to contemplate and that she leaves a piece for me.

 

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

The week that was

December 8, 2012 //
7

end of first week-2

All the performances I wrote about this week happened  last Sunday – one after another – it was pretty exhausting. At the end of the first stage, L’Artiste and Cash Cow sang an impromptu duet. I mentioned it before, none of the Dedes can sing, but it is the thought that counts. The audience didn’t mind, it was  just such a lovely finish to the first part of the competition.

At the moment there is no clear favourite, but definitely one bogeyman. The worst thing is, Harvey is totally oblivious to how much he offended the girls. Even some of the men are cringing. How do you tell somebody they were so terribly off the mark? Ah well, it is a competition and he will notice from his rating. This brings me to the next point… Have you rated all the candidates? There is a star system at the bottom of each post.

Devil and Detail called me for a meeting and asked what I thought of the calibre of the candidates. If I read them correctly, they were a little disappointed by the performances and they might have hoped for my confirmation. I reminded them that it was the explicit wish of the Dedes that I should hold back – it is entirely their show –  so I won’t disclose my opinion. I am only there for administrative support.

Next…

The next round starts on Monday and this week our contestants will have to answer questions. Devil asked me to remind the readers that the organisers of the competition would be delighted to receive questions from the audience. So if you want to ask the candidates something, write a comment…. Every comment to a post made during the competition will go into the draw for the Dede puppet book Hermit’s Web or the few friends I need I hand-craft myself, a little hardcover book with pictures and stories of the initial Dede community. The second and third prize are a pack of Dede postcards (10 postcards each).

On a completely different note…

Philosopher took me to the side yesterday for a quiet talk. He is one of those puppets who don’t want to have a bar of the competition, but thinks if others believe it is fun they should go ahead. However, he aired his concern about Deutsch Fraulein (German Girl). You might know he cares a lot about her. He is secretly in love with her (from a distance). He told me Deutsch Fraulein spends a lot of time on German blogs at the moment. Everybody over there writes about Advent and Christmas and he has the feeling she might be a bit home sick. So he asked me – oh no, he begged me – not to forget all those puppets who are not part of the competition and maybe I could do something for them.

I asked what he had in mind. I can’t change the weather… we do have summer over here now and there is no snow. I absolutely hate  fake snow and plastic christmas trees. It only gets dark at half past nine or ten-ish. Or have you ever tried Christmas cookies in summer? I have… they don’t taste that great…they have to be eaten in the dark and the cold! It’s comfort food.

“You are creative” Philosopher said “You will think of something!”

“That is such a cop out!” I answered, but he only smiled at me. He knows I can’t refuse any of his requests. He is too good a friend.

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

Last but not least: L’Artiste

December 7, 2012 //
5

Lartiste on stage

The audience had fits of laughter at the end of Harvey‘s speech, as if it had been the most hilarious comedy show. I am not entirely sure whether they were laughing about the rabbit’s crude innuendoes and thought it was a big, big joke, or the faux pas of Mouse and Socialite. Mouse  was simply so eager to get her comment in, that she actually hadn’t taken in what was said. When Foxy Lady enlightened her by pointing out what she had cheered for, she turned instantly red. Fire-engine red to be precise. Dede puppets usually don’t change colour, but you can believe me, she did. I have never seen her so embarrassed and she quickly disappeared out the door and into the darkness.

Harvey couldn’t quite make out why everyone was laughing either, but he obviously took it as a good sign. He walked up to Socialite, gave her a big hug and sloppy kiss on the cheek as thank you for her support. Socialite giggled, but was clearly uncomfortable.  Harvey didn’t notice, he was chuffed he had found a new best mate.

Finally, L’Artiste, the last of the competitors ambled onto the stage. Rather than the standard black robe, he wore a colourful outfit –  just to be different. He stood there for a couple of moments and enjoyed the admiring glances from all the puppets. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d started a new fashion trend with his gown and tomorrow everybody will be wearing a similar rag.

“I will make it short and sweet” he began in his deep and relaxing voice “I am L’Artiste Dede. I do my own thing! If you know me a little, you know how much I love my reclusive lifestyle. I am certainly not one to join the crowd. To be honest, I hate it all… I detest reality and talent shows with every fibre of my being. On the other hand I am open minded and naturally curious and I am always good for new experiences. I strongly believe the foundation of all judgements should be your own experience…

“I signed up more or less as a joke and I am very surprised I got in. I thought there were other contenders that have much more of a chance than I have. But now, here I am – and I will go through with it. Que sera sera. But should I win, I certainly won’t write it on my CV – I might turn my thoughts into some sort of artwork though.”

He briefly lifted his hand  “Salute! And thank you for your attention” and with those words he loafed off again.

The Dedes looked at each other and didn’t know what to make of it.

“Bold” said Smug Little Devil after an extended pause and because nobody else said anything. The others looked at him and nodded in agreement.

Only Monkey said, “rubbish, he should have moved aside and let me have a go!”

What do you think about L’Artiste’s performance?

 

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

Harvey’s gig

December 6, 2012 //
4

harvey speaking

Mouse asked me not to report what Monkey and Smug Little Devil say when the contestants leave the stage, as they invariably say the same thing to everyone. But I reminded her that Devil had instructed me implicitly to write down the first three comments from the Dede audience. And I am a truthful reporter! I do my job well. She went off to look for Devil to complain, but couldn’t find him. So she devised Plan B and this was simply to out-smart the two boys by getting her comment in first after the next contestant. She also convinced Socialite to do the same. They choose a short, yet supportive remark, and practiced for a bit  to get it out quickly.

The next contestant was Harvey the rabbit. He bounced onto the stage with youthful energy: “Hi, I am Harvey. Thanks guys for all your votes. A big thank you goes to Mr XL in particular for his great work as campaign manager. Unfortunately I had to sack him right after the election as he couldn’t find me a speech writer. Ah well, I listened to the earlier contestants and decided I can write my own speech. Easy-peasy! It can’t be too difficult to beat what we have heard and seen so far.” He laughed heartily at his own joke and plonked himself down on the edge of the stage.

“I bet we have a mostly youngish audience out there in the big wide world, so I won’t bore you with any family crap. I don’t know how many siblings I have nor how many kids for that matter. After all I am a rabbit. I live for the here and now, and for the big day when I win the lottery. In the meantime all I want to have, is fun…. And ladies, you are lucky, I am not married yet! Yes, all you lasses out there, look at at me: This handsome young buck is still available… I am a really nice guy.  I have a good sense of humour, I am easy going and, most importantly, I am not particularly demanding.  Yes, it is time to settle but I am still looking for the right sheila, bird, lass what ever you want to call ’em. Doctor says I should eat more rabbit food, so it would be good if the sheila could cook. I am eating far too many burgers. I know that it’s not really the best diet, but there is some salad in it, isn’t there?

“Apart from this, I want her to be fun-loving too and, please, none of this deep and meaningful stuff. Life is far too short.

“Looking forward to your questions next week, laaaayydiiiies! And this is all from me for now…”  With those words he hopped off the stage straight into the audience.

“Bravo” called Mouse

“Brilliant” shouted Socialite

“You can’t be serious” commented Foxy Lady “I must be in the wrong film”

What did you think of Harvey?

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, Relationships

Mouse’s turn

December 4, 2012 //
2

mouse on stage-2

We were all a bit stunned by Pig‘s performance. Professor was busy going around telling everybody that it was Pig‘s first public speech. The jury is still out on this one. Some Dedes say it wasn’t really public – it was just amongst friends! He plainly isn’t up to it. Full stop! While others are sympathetic and say having everyone’s eyes on you, even all your friends’ eyes, can be terribly daunting. I am pretty sure, if Pig wouldn’t have such a pink complexion, we all could have seen him blush.

Pig made himself scarce and didn’t even come to watch his competition perform. Mouse was the next one up and she was the extreme opposite. She strode onto the stage with both her little mittens in the air calling “I love you all, I love you all”.

Even though she looked a winner, she couldn’t fool me…  If you know her as well as I do, you will have noticed her pitch was a tad too high and the pace a fraction too fast…  believe you me… she was shitting herself!

“Hi I am Mouse, but what am I telling you, you all know me” she started while she was pulling a box from behind the curtain. She smiled wryly into the darkness in front of her and sat down.

“I am just your ordinary puppet and I am not used to being in the limelight. But I thought this competition is a good way of connecting with you all again.

“My big aspiration in life is to get everybody playing nicely together. You know, when I was little our mom didn’t look after us well .” For the first time Mouse slowed down a little and she stared into the darkness as if she could see a movie.

“I grew up in a caravan park. Mom couldn’t to cope with her lot. She mostly screamed at us and said nasty things. Dad was absent!.. It was all too much for mom.” Mouse spoke those words more to herself than to the audience and stopped for a brief moment. Then she looked up and continued at her usual speed.  “So I took my four little siblings under my wing and made sure that they were safe. I love to care for others. I always did. And I am not afraid of work… You can throw anything at me. I just thrive on work. Give me instructions anytime and you can consider it done! But… please, please don’t ask me to be creative!” She laughed apologetically.

Then she got up from her box, bowed and blew some kisses into the crowd and added: “And thank you for voting for me. Your confidence means a lot to me! I won’t disappoint you. Promise!” With those words she disappeared behind the curtain.

“Boo!” called Monkey from the crowd “How boring. I could have done better!”

“Amateur” said Smug Little Devil. “She came across like a small town politician, didn’t she?”

“Pig should have seen this. He could have learned a thing or two” commented Professor.

How do you rate Mouse?

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life

First up: Pig

December 3, 2012 //
2

pig on show

Yesterday was a rather strange day. There were a lot of unhappy puppets around, such as Monkey, who saw his dreams shattered to smithereens. He is a comedian and would have so loved to show off in the third part of competition. Foxy Lady is convinced she would have out-witted anybody in the second round and Snippedy, the clown, will have to come to terms that his mask doesn’t fool anybody. But that was yesterday… They will get over it and we have to go on with the show!

Last night most of the Dedes assembled in front of the make-shift stage and Devil, the MC, welcomed everybody. He explained again that any comment from readers during the competition will go in the draw for a signed copy of the Dede puppet book: Hermit’s Web or the few friends I need, I hand-craft myself. Then he went on to explain the format: This week the contestants will introduce themselves and every post will have a star rating attached. Devil pointed out the star rating is for the performance of the contestant, not the post! He also instructed me to include the first three comments from the Dede audience in the post.

And then he called Pig on stage.

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. And there was Pig. It stood there and started sweating. Pig had stage fright. It just stood there frozen like a statue. It doesn’t say much at the best of times. We always thought it was because it hangs out with Professor and he does all the talking for both of them. But now it was obvious. Pig doesn’t have anything to say at all. Pig was clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“Boo”, called Monkey from the audience “Boo. I could have done better…” But he was the only one. Everybody else sat there and felt sorry for Pig.

“No heckling, please” said Devil and put his arm around Pig who still just stood there.

“So then, contestant No 1. Why are you here?” Devil asked to get Pig going.

“Dunno. Professor put me forward” Pig answered, barely audible.

“But you must have signed the entry form” Devil pointed  out.

“Must have been drunk!”

“Just tell us something, anything… Where do you come from or is there anything special about you?”

Pig scratched behind his ear and stepped from one foot to the other.

“Well, we were five little piggies, the oldest went to the market. I had nothing. My mum, the sow, didn’t expect much from me anyway. Originally she wanted to call me Elvis, because I, I have Elvis Presley’s eyes. I think that is why I love to drink. Professor says I have beautiful eyes.” It all came out in one big convoluted sentence, but that was it. Pig was quiet again and looked nervously at Devil for approval.

Devil knew that was it, there was no more where this came from. Pig was dry. “Okay give our first contestant a big hand.” Devil said to the audience and clapped his hands. Pig saw his chance and took to his heels.

“Boo” called Monkey again

“Amateur” said Smug Little Devil

“Oh dear,” sighed the Professor “and I thought it would be character building for him”

Rate Pig‘s performance here:

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Categories Art, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life
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