Archives for posts with tag: Characters

top dog scare

This is no good. It is more than a month since I have written on my blog. Honestly, the Artist’s survival cookbook is progressing. Not fast, but it is moving forward. It is currently at the design stage. The Dedes had millions of boring meetings to figure out how they should publish it.  You know, those kind of meetings where the discussion goes round and round in circles. Then the meeting is declared over without a tenable outcome and a new meeting has to be called another time. And very quickly a week, then a month, passes by.

You might find it hard to believe, but the Dedes are usually good decision makers. Even though they banter a lot, they know each other’s strength and weaknesses and trust the next Dede implicitly. But then there is Top Dog. Top Dog entered the scene sometime last year and never fitted in. He is adamant he is the best, knows everything better and is not interested in anybody’s opinion unless it coincides with his own. He loves to manage but not in a co-operative kind of way, more like a despot. In short, he wants to run the show and is not interested in what others with arguably more expererience can contribute – unless he directs them to do so. The Dedes quickly figured out his cocksure behaviour was to cover up his own inadequacies. They avoided saying anything that could be construed as disagreement.  When he has the feeling he is being criticised he gets extremely aggressive and loses the plot. Ultimately, the Dedes keep to themselves as they don’t like unnecessary arguments, so they let him do his own thing and he could feel important in front of the mirror. It’s by no means the first time they have had to deal with a difficult compatriot. Though usually the difficult ones come round once they realise the Dedes are a knowledgeable and peaceful bunch who work towards building a comfortable,  non-threatening environment.  Top Dog, however, hasn’t settled. Instead he constantly complains about how he isn’t respected enough. Well, as Philosopher always says: “Respect can’t be demanded, it has to be earned.”

There is a point when even the most patient Dedes has to say “enough is enough”. So, the other day the core team of Dedes, Mouse, Devil and Witch, along with a handful of others got together to discuss what on earth they could do. They realised the presence of Top Dog undermines their work. Their plans have slowed to a near stand – still and the only way to get back on track is if he goes. As it happens, tomorrow is the Scarecrow in the Garden competition here in Beach Haven and Mouse, the keen gardener, suggested to nominate Top Dog to become their representative in the competition. That will make him feel very important, but of course, as it will rain on and off tomorrow, the weather will see to his demise very quickly.

trombocino

Since Traumtanz has left the garden, the Dedes got quiet. There was discussion whether potatoes should be planted in the spot that the boat had occupied. But in the end the Dedes weren’t allowed to seize the patch as the boat might come back one day. So the Dedes focussed on the backyard instead and Mouse was busy planting winter vegetables like kohl rabi and broccoli. While she was out there she discovered the zucchini plants have an infestation of cucumber beetle. This is really bad news as the beetles and their larvae do huge damage to the plants and also carry bacterial wilt organisms. So Mouse was busy collecting beetles and squashing them and removing wilted leaves and fruit when she accidentally cut the stem of the tromboncino. Tromboncino is a climbing zucchini and we just have harvested one fruit yesterday, unfortunately the one in the picture won’t mature, due to Mouse’s inattention. I have never seen them in the shops and I am quite curious how they taste.

punch cake

The other day, Australian Punch sent us a recipe Judy had asked him to pass on. It is a South African recipe with Dutch roots and sounded really good. Punch Drunk immediately held his hand up to try it and report back. After all, they are namesakes, though all the Dedes believe Punch Drunk got a few more whacks over his head by his Judy. This morning he counted how many eggs we had in the egg bowl, and yes, there were enough. He checked all the other ingredients as well and put them on the counter. Everything was there, except for vanilla essence. Then he copied the recipe from the message and showed it to Mouse for approval. “That sounds yummy indeed” Mouse said. “However, there might be a bit too much sugar in it and then I am not sure about the vanilla essence.”

“I found a passion fruit in the fridge. Could I use this for flavour?” asked Punch Drunk. Mouse recommended that when one cooks a recipe for the first time one should actually stick to the recipe to experience how the result should look and taste. The next time he could make changes. While they were discussing the passion fruit, Mouse noticed that in the recipe the eggs were separated and beaten separately. “Make sure” she reminded Punch Drunk “that no egg yolk gets into the egg whites and you need to beat the whites until they form stiff peaks. If the egg white is spoilt, with even the tiniest amount of yolk, it won’t happen. Also, clean your egg beater thoroughly should you beat anything that contains fat before you do the whites.” Punch Drunk listened carefully and nodded. He was rearing to get to work. Mouse left the kitchen to do other things.

So he followed the recipe and when he was half way through, he realised there was milk on the ingredient list, but it didn’t say at what point to add it. He called out to Mouse for help, but she was nowhere to be seen. “Ah well,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll just do what I think” and added the milk and the passion fruit as well. It’s better to continue than throw out some perfectly good eggs and starting again.

When the cake came out of the oven it smelt delicious but was a bit runny. So he decided not to publish the recipe just yet and confer with Australian Punch first to see where he went wrong.

 

pavlova scale2

Today is a public holiday in New Zealand. Waitangi Day. The day when, in 1840, the treaty between indigenous Maori and a representative of the crown was signed, putting the land under the protectorate of the English. Pavlova thought it was a good idea to celebrate the day with a cake and mentioned it to Mouse. Of course Mouse immediatly thought Pavlova would want to make the cake after which she is named. “Pavolva doesn’t fit into the flour and water concept at all” she said, perhaps a little too snobbishly.

“Just don’t assume” Pavlova, who is a scientist, camly said. “I am very well aware that pavlova is made of eggwhite and sugar. No, I want to make a sponge log.” Mouse felt a little bad and didn’t ask any further questions. She just held her hand out for the recipe. After she read through it, she said, “You know, we use cups as measurements, you use grams. That will confuse our readers!”

Pavlova threw her head back and said huffly, “I am a scientist, I don’t work with cups.”

Mouse didn’t want to push it and thought she might change the recipe when she edits it later. Instead she said to Pavlova, “There is no fat in it. That’s a good one for all the fat-phobic people.”

“Sugar is as bad as fat” commented Pavlova “and anyway, you have to fill the log. The easiest way is to whip up some cream and add fresh fruit. My favourite is a custard filling, I use Daredevil’s recipe. You could also just spread jam on it if you have nothing else on hand.”

Ingredients

3 eggs, 5 Tablespoons of water, 150g sugar, 100g wheat flour, 50g corn flour, 1 teaspoon of baking powder.

Baking paper, clean tea towel.

Method

Preheat the oven to 2200C. Put baking paper on a tray.

In a big bowl mix water and eggs and beat it with an electric beater on the fastest speed for a minute. It will become foamy. Then very slowly pour in sugar while continuing to beat. In this process the egg mixture starts to thicken. Once all the sugar added continue beating for another 2 minutes.

Mix the two flours and the baking powder and sieve half of the flour mixture onto the egg mixture. Without stirring too much, fold into the egg mixture (this can be done with the electric beater on the slowest speed, or with a spoon). Continue with the rest of the flour in the same way.

Pour the batter onto the baking paper that’s on the tray and put in the oven for 12 minutes.

When it comes out of the oven, place the sponge cake on a clean tea towel and roll the tea towel and cake up. Let it cool. Once it is cool, carefully unroll, remove the tea towel and spread the filling of your choice on sponge cake and roll it up again.

 

mouse devil reading book

“We won’t get 101 recipes” said Mouse again and looked at her list. “I think we have twenty-five or so.”

“There are still a few to come” said Witch. “I definitely want to do my teff custard”. Witch is the one that tries all sort of different flours. Teff is her favourite. It is an Ethiopian highland grain and is gluten-free, but has the stickiness of gluten. It is often used in gluten-free flour mixes, but it is hard to come by on its own and very expensive. For this reason, Mouse, who is a frugal Dede,  doesn’t want to include anything with teff flour in the book.

“But we have to talk about different flours in the book” insisted Witch. “And, okay, I have already published the teff custard on October 2013. I’ll just link to it here.”

“I think it is time to discuss how we make the book. We have enough material. Quality is better than quantity and our readers might be getting sick of all these flour and water recipes” continued Mouse.

Harvey, the rabbit, came into the room and said “but I want to make a yeast plait that you eat at Easter”. “And I want to make profiterole” chimed in Loudmouth, the chicken. “We haven’t even made any dumplings except for the bread dumplings” called someone from the back. “There are still more recipes to come!”

“Do we need to publish them all on the blog?” asked Mouse. “I am starting to worry about how we design the book. I have to get on with the editing. Do we just collate all the stories we have here, or what?” Mouse looked around for a response. She is not confident enough to make such far-reaching decisions on her own.

No answers were forthcoming so Devil, who has no problem with decision-making, stepped in. “Personally, I think the Dedes should be in the book, but we might rewrite the story a little to make it smoother. At the moment we just have blog posts. This doesn’t make a book!” He commended Mouse for all her valuable input into the recipes and how she explained what to watch out for, but he thinks it needs to be streamlined. The others agreed. Detail piped up and said “But if we don’t have 101 recipes the title doesn’t work anymore. Didn’t we want to call the book The Artist’s survival cookbook or 101 recipes with flour and water?”

“I noticed that too” said Philosopher. “What do you think about the title The Artist’s survival cookbook or how to make a crust

“We could also call it The Artist’s survival cookbook or living on the breadline” said L’Artiste who knows a thing or two about that.

“See?” Mouse was happy that the discussion finally started. “There are so many decisions to make. The title, and then the question, do we have to photograph everything again? How do we want to design the book? How are we going to publish it?”

“Do you really think our readers are interested in all this?” asked Philosopher. “Shouldn’t we discuss all this amongst ourselves?”

 

socialite grissini

Socialite was invited to brunch on New Year’s Day. In our neck of the woods, you are often asked to “bring a plate” when you are invited to a social gathering. Don’t be fooled, it doesn’t mean your host doesn’t have enough dinnerware and you have to bring your own. No, you are expected to fill your plate with something edible to share. Now, Socialite is by no means a kitchen goddess, the less time she has to spend in the kitchen the better. To be honest, for her it would be easiest to nip down to the supermarket and buy something. But this is the crux, she rather spends her money on fashion and make-up than to buy classy food to share around. Unfortunately she is faced with a champagne taste on a beer budget. Luckily she found in one of her women’s magazines this simple recipe for Grissini to go with any dip. The name sounded intriguing, she tried it and loved it. Grissini is the Italian name for bread sticks, and by no means difficult to make. But as it is a yeast dough some rising time is involved. Socialite is certainly not known for her patience and it works in her favour that if you want the Grissinis to be crunchy, you shouldn’t let them rise too much. She finds the time the dough needs to rise is exactly the time she needs to make her dip, usually some sour cream based concoction with fresh herbs.

Needless to say, she gets a lot of praise for her bread sticks, otherwise she wouldn’t make them. The noble sounding name might have something to do with it. Don’t you dare to call her Grissini simply bread sticks. Ever!

Ingredients

3 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of dry yeast, 1 generous cup of lukewarm water, 3 tablespoons of olive oil, pinch of salt if you wish. For the topping: water, mediterranean herbs and sesame or poppy seeds (optional).

Method

Preheat oven to 2000C

Put flour into a bowl, make a well in the middle and pour in most of the water and add yeast. (I always keep some of the water and add later if needed). Let sit for 5 to 10 mins until the yeast has turned into sloshy foam. Add salt and oil and combine everything to an elastic dough, which will take approximately 5 minutes of kneading. In the process add the rest of the water if necessary. The dough should be dry and not sticky. Generally if you knead longer, the flour will absorb the excess water. If it really doesn’t happen add some more flour, but only then.

Put the dough in a bowl, cover with a tea towel and let rest in warm place for 5 to 10 minutes. Knead again and roll out to a rectangle of about half a centimeter thickness. Cut the rectangle into two halves and then into strips of 1 centimetre width. Take each of these strips and roll between your hands to round snakes. (The thinner you roll them, the crunchier they will get in the end. If you make them too thick, they will turn into oblong buns). Then place on a baking tray dusted with flour or on a silicon mat. It is a bit like a jig saw puzzle to place them well on the tray. Leave enough space between the individual pieces, as they will expand during baking. Most likely you will fill two trays.

In a cup or ramekin combine some water and herbs and brush the mixture on the snakes of dough. You might want to do half with herbs and water and brush the other half with water only and sprinkle poppy seeds and/or sesame seeds on the remaining sticks.

Bake in the oven for 15 minutes or until golden brown. If you want really crunchy ones, bake for a little longer.

Cool on a wire rack. Don’t let them cool down in a closed tin. When they cool, water is released, which will form condensation in the tin and make them really soft. Yuk.

Socialite ran out of time to do two trays. That is so typical for her. She didn’t want to waste the rest of the dough and packed it in cling film and chucked it in the fridge. Mouse saw that and mumbled: “I bet she  hopes to score a date today. Then she can turn the dough into nice fresh buns tomorrow morning.” As Socialite was in a hurry and is not the most careful Dede by nature, Mouse thought she better check that she had packed the dough properly.  It doesn’t need to be cling film, but it needs to be airtight, otherwise the dough will get a hard crust. The best is to pour a little olive oil in your clean hands and distribute it on the surface of the dough, then place it in an airtight container and in the fridge.

high five

The Dedes were busy with their last Christmas preparations all day yesterday and were hardly home. You would not believe what Top Dog and Empress in Waiting did while they had the house to themselves. I’ll have to start from the beginning. Their new plan for the living arrangements is that they themselves will occupy the top shelf, the next level down will be for all the existing Lil’Dedes and shelf underneath will be reserved for new Lil’Dedes that are yet to be created. All the Dedes will move to the bottom shelf, which gives them the option to also use the floorspace in front of the shelf if need be. At least this is what Empress in Waiting had proposed to King in her email. King didn’t think much of the plan and said “No”. After all, the Dedes are much bigger than the Lil’Dedes and there are 60 or so of them but only 24 Lil’Dedes. Empress in Waitings reasoning was that the Dedes are not money earners. They only act in movies and are shown off in galleries, while the Lil’ ones will be sold, so they need to be visible. She overlooked that the art cupboard is not public and nothing in there will be visible to anybody but myself. And so emails were flying to and fro until King finally got tired and shouted a firm ” I’ve made my decision! No more discussions!” across the room.

But for Empress in Waiting a problem is not resolved unless she gets her way. So the King’s decision was not acceptable at all. First she sat in a corner and moped, pondering what else she could do. Sly Top Dog, who is always on the look out for someone to help in return for future favours, shook his head and said “What’s the problem? It’s Christmas, they’re all busy. We’ll just do what we want and once it is all done, they won’t make us move back! That’s far too much work”. As he is a hard worker he rolled up his sleeves and started immediately. Surprisingly Empress in Waiting, who is a bit precious and not too keen on physical work at all, chipped in and shuffled a few things around as well. It took them pretty much all day to re-organise the art cupboard and when the Dedes came back from the shops the move was complete. All they could do was stand there, jaws dropped to the ground, and watch Top Dog and Empress in Waiting giving each other high fives on the top shelf.

carol singing

If you have read my blog lately, you know that there is a bit of a rift in the Dede world. The whole thing started when Top Dog arrived a few months back and it’s definitely caused by his nature. Like any top dog he wants to be the unquestioned leader. He’ll do anything to get there and doesn’t even shy away from underhanded measures. Some of the Lil’Dedes are growing increasingly wary and they feel more connected to the Dedes rather than the other Lil’Dedes. They’d prefer not to be forced into moving onto the top shelf and would rather like to mix with their Dede colleagues. Is it really so surprising that Lil’Artist dreams of setting up his easel in L’Artiste’s studio? He admires L’Artiste so much and believes he could learn heaps by just breathing the same air. Lil’Elephant would like to become a ballerina just like Push Push, the Dede elephant lady. Who would be a better teacher than someone who has overcome the same obstacles?

So a group of Lil’Dedes took it upon themselves to organise a carol singing evening, a nice little event in the spirit of the season. It was a spur of the moment decision, as the tension in the art cupboard becomes increasingly difficult to cope with. You could immediately see that the three of them went to a lot of trouble. They had constructed a gorgeous Christmas tree, complete with a star on top and presents around the base. Then they got a snow white table cloth out of the linen cupboard, stood up, and sang their little hearts out. It didn’t really matter that their singing was rather bad, because sadly no-one showed up. No Dedes and no lil’Dedes either.

“Ah well”, said Lil’Clown disillusioned after they had sang their repertoire for the fifth time. “The Dedes really don’t like us! Top Dog is right, they think they are better than us.”

I was pretty angry with the Dede’s behaviour. Even if they don’t believe in Christmas, it couldn’t have hurt to show up and show some community spirit. Turns out they didn’t know it was on. When Lil’Clown wanted to send out the invitation email, Empress in Waiting was hogging the computer writing important emails to King on behalf of Top Dog. Lil’Clown couldn’t wait any longer. He still had other preparations to do so he asked Empress in Waiting to send the invitiation once she was done with her stuff. She simply forgot. Yeah, right!

 

 

market day

Today was the day we were waiting for. Market Day. Over the last few weeks I’ve made a number of Lil’Dedes to sell. I should have left Devil behind and taken Fairy Godmother instead. She might have had the power to swing the weather. Unfortunately, half an hour into the event, it started raining and the punters were few and far between. No, definitely not Market Day weather. The upshot was, all the Lil’Dedes had to come back home with me and now we have a real problem. They need a place to live. You might think they are little and that should be easy. At least that is what I reckoned and I left them to it to sort it out. It’s not that simple, though. Since Top Dog arrived everything has turned into a competitive power game. Whenever the Dedes make a decision he throws a spanner in the works. Quietly, he has groomed the Lil’Dedes to become his disciples. As the Lil’Dedes were even newer than Top Dog, he had an easy time convincing them he should be their ring leader.

As soon as a new character was finished, Top Dog had a lengthy conversation with them. After this introduction they voluntarily separated themselves from the Dedes and didn’t even try to make friends. They all went into the space on the top shelf that Top Dog had created for them after he moved Mouse’s stuff. Even though every single Dede had told Top Dog that the top shelf has always been reserved for Mouse, he just ignored them and send all his new followers up there. The Dedes watched, but let it go for the time being, as they were convinced a few of the Lil’Dedes would be shifted and not come back today. They thought once they knew how many will stay, they could sit together and discuss re-organising the available space. The Dedes are keen on being one big happy family, large and small together.

When we got back from the market, Devil called an emergency meeting as he knew the available space is a squeeze. He wants the space situation sorted out swiftly, and once and for all. It’s no secret he wants Mouse to have her top shelf back for obvious reasons, but she might have to share it with L’Artiste or some other Dedes. Top Dog didn’t feel too well today and therefore excused himself from the meeting, but he send his new minion, Empress in Waiting. What a waste of time. She just sat there teetering on the edge of her seat, smiling and not saying much. Finally, at the end, she did say it was all good. Devil, though, was surprised there wasn’t much discussion. He took Empress in Waiting’s word for it and went straight to Mouse and assured her she will have her space back in no time.

Empress in Waiting, meanwhile, went back to her lot. Nobody knows what was said, but it didn’t take her long to write an email to King, who she believes will make the final decision, demanding that the Lil’Dedes not only get the top shelf but also the second and third shelf. Mouse and all the other Dedes can have the bottom shelf. Her reasoning was that there will be more Lil’Dedes in the near future and she wants to make sure there is enough space for all of them should the time come.

The King, wisely enough, asked Devil what happend. He was speechless.

The Dedes have now become extremely wary of Top Dog. They find his antics very irritating. While they try to ignore him and get on with their jobs, they still need to constantly remind themselves that he is a dog after all. And like any good dog he has to sniff around everywhere and try to leave a stronger mark than the last one. It doesn’t help that much, though. His behaviour makes the Dedes feel very uncomfortable. They even feel unsafe in their old hang-out, the art cupboard. Whenever Top Dog approaches the conversation stops. Up till now, their society has been an open one and they had no locks anywhere, not even on the bathroom door. Now, whenever a Dede wants to be left alone they close the door behind them. Unfortunately, whenever Top Dog spots a closed door he needs to knock to see what’s happening. He is so worried about being left out. At least he knocks!

Last night Professor called a meeting as the gossip about Top Dog is rife. The biggest problem was to make sure Top Dog wouldn’t be there. So Professor asked Witch for a knock-out potion he could mix into a bottle of champagne he would then present to Top Dog as a peace offering. As you know, Professor is quite partial to his tipple and has no problem recognising a fellow alcoholic. Yes, that is one of Top Dog’s vices, he loves to get plastered. Initially Witch didn’t want to partake in Professor’s little ruse. She claims to use her herbal knowledge strictly for beneficial causes. But on second thought she agreed with Professor that it was for the benefit of all the other Dedes.

Professor, being one of the first Dedes, has tremedeous experience in deciphering the obvious signs on a Dede. He had prepared a little slide show to enlighten the others.

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