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More buns

January 10, 2015 //
3

techno man and milk bun

“With your buns you just add water to the flour” remarked Techno Man. “I wonder if my recipe is different. It has been in my family for generations.”

“Let me guess,” said Mouse, “ you are using butter and milk, right?”

“That’s it!” said Techno Man. “We use butter and milk. I think the recipe is really good and it comforts me that it is so old. It’s tried and trusted, it can’t be wrong! So, why are you using only water?”

Mouse explained that the original idea of this recipe collection was to demonstrate that you can easily make these staples at home, quickly and cheaply. The collection will become the Artist’s Survival Cookbook. The Dedes are annoyed to see a loaf of bread  in the supermarket costs $7 or a tiny packet of Grissini is $5. For the same price Mouse can buy a 5kg bag of flour and feed the troops for a couple of weeks. Of course, everybody knows that white flour is not the healthiest option. It basically has no nutritional value at all. It’s lack of nutritients is second only to sugar. Unfortunately the majority of baked goods you get in the supermarket and in most bakeries are made from white flour with a good measure of salt, sugar, hydrogenated fat, preservatives and other additives. The Dedes’ reasoning is that making it yourself doesn’t take long and you know exactly what’s in it. Once you realise how easy it is you might become more adventurous with different flours and flavours.

If you live on a tight budget, and you haven’t done much cooking before, it doesn’t make sense to start with a complicated meal. You don’t want to buy unusual ingredients, use a small amount and leave what’s left in the packets to rot in the pantry when you are not even sure if your meal will turn out okay or not.  Why not start with the simplest of recipes. If the no-egg pasta recipe doesn’t work, you might have to throw away 30c of flour (but what can go wrong with this recipe anyway?) If it works, you saved yourself $1.50 or so. If it is not to your taste, try egg pasta. (I have yet to find a person who doesn’t like my egg pasta, apart from a vegan or a gluten-intolerant person, of course! But I wouldn’t cook it for them).

You can only win. Involve your kids in making the food. Flat bread, for example, is so easy and they will love it. Next time you are in the shop, have a look at how much a packet of flat bread will set you back. I’ll bet if you make it according to our recipe it will cost you a fraction of that and it’s healthier. And not only will it feed you, it will also give you quality time with the kids.

“Are you actually answering my question, Mouse?” asked Techno Man impatiently.

“Ah, sorry” she said. “Was I raving on again? I am really passionate about the subject, you know. Of course there are other recipes, but using milk and butter makes the buns just a little bit more expensive.”

“But also better”

“Let the cooks be the judge of that. You never know what people like. Milk and butter make the dough heavier and not everyone favours that. I personally like the water ones. Other people prefer them because they are lactose intolerant or choose not to eat animal products.”

“I really like them as a condiment with a hearty soup. It makes a complete meal” Techno man insisted. “You are definitely right there.” Mouse agreed.

Ingredients

3 cups of flour, 50g butter, 250ml milk, 1 teaspoon of dry yeast, salt (optional)

Method

Warm up milk and butter in a pot. Make sure the milk is lukewarm only and the butter melted (If it is too hot you have to cool it down, as heat kills the yeast.) Pour the flour on to a flat surface. Make a well in the middle and pour in the milk/butter mix, add the yeast and let sit for 15 minutes. It will dissolve but won’t get quite as sloshy as with water and no butter. Knead to an elastic dough. Place the dough in a bowl, cover with a clean tea towel and let it rise for one or two hours.

Preheat oven to 200 0C. Knead again and form oblong buns. Place on a baking tray dusted with flour and let it rise again while the oven is heating up. Brush with milk and cut the surface lengthwise before you place them in the oven.

Bake for 20 minutes.

“I have to ask you” said Mouse after she had read the recipe. “Why does it say oblong buns? And you slit them lengthwise. Is there a reason?”

“None at all. It is just that it is such an old recipe and that is the classical look of a milk bun.” answered Techno Man.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Pretzels

January 9, 2015 //
0

deutsch pretzel

Granddad Max and Mouse were about to put a new batch of buns in the oven when Deutsch Fraulein came running along. “Stop, stop” she shouted waving frantically with her arms. “I want to show you something! This is my favourite recipe…”

Mouse and Granddad Max nearly dropped the tray. “Wait your turn.”

“No, really!” Deutsch Fraulein was short of breath and puffing. “You can turn these into pretzel buns and they will taste so much better.”

“Pretzel buns? What’s that?” Granddad Max obviously thought it was a new thing.

“You know, like the nibbles, the little pretzel bows you can buy in a packet. Where I come from they are much bigger, just like normal buns.” And then Deutsch Fraulein admitted that she missed them a lot. She had to learn how to make them as you couldn’t buy them here. Now you can, though, in a few places, but they’re so expensive Deutsch Fraulein can’t afford them.

“Are you sure it is the same recipe?” asked Mouse.

“Yes, absolutely” said Deutsch Fraulein. “The difference is, before you place them in the oven, you boil them for 1 minute in a solution of baking soda and water. Sounds strange, I know. Just trust me.”

Granddad Max and Mouse looked at each other and weren’t quite sure what to make of it.

“Just run the whole recipe past me again” asked Mouse. She wanted to check if it really was the same dough.

Ingredients

2.5 cups of flour, 1 cup of warm water (or half water and half milk) and 1 teaspoon of dry yeast. For the pretzel solution: 1.5 liters of water and 2 generously heaped table spoons of baking soda and rock salt to sprinkle on top

Method

Pour flour into a bowl, make a well in the middle and add half the water and the yeast. Let sit for 15 minutes until the yeast is sloshy.

Knead to a dough on a flat surface, adding the rest of the water. Then put it back into the bowl, cover with a clean tea towel and put in a warm place until it has doubled in size.

Knead again, divide into 8 balls and let rise once more.

Preheat the oven to 200 0C. At the same time prepare the pretzel solution: in a large pot pot bring water to the boil. Be very careful when you add the baking soda to the boiling water as it will foam.

After the buns have risen again, boil them in the baking soda solution for 1 minute. Then place on baking paper on a tray. Sprinkle with rock salt. You will need the salt to get the flavour. If you don’t want to eat so much salt you will have to scrape it off after baking.

With a sharp knife, cut an x on top of each one and then bake in the oven for 20 minutes.

“But why do you make pretzel buns not pretzels?” asked Mouse.

“It’s just a different shape” admitted Deutsch Fraulein “Keeping the shape of a pretzel when you are moving the risen pieces to the pot and back is a little trickier, but not a problem with a skimmer” She took one of the pieces of dough and turned it into a real pretzel.

“The boiling in the brine makes it a pretzel. You can make any shape, of course, but nothing beats the real pretzels with the thin crunchy bit on one side and the softer part on the other where you can put your spreads.”

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Categories Art, Books, Comedy, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Basic loaf of bread

January 6, 2015 //
4

mouse bread copy

“I think it’s my turn now. We need a good solid bread recipe” Mouse remarked, after she had tried all the recipes with just water, flour and some sort of fat, but no leavening agent.

“Do you have a bread making machine?” Nitpicker asked. “I don’t need one.” Mouse replied proudly. “I am a purist. I love kneading the dough.” Mouse is indeed constantly baking bread, just in case visitors drop by. As she never knows how much she will need, she usually bakes two loaves. One goes in the freezer and the other one stays in the bread box to be eaten. When the first one is almost finished she gets the other one out of the freezer and by the time it is required, it will be defrosted. Sometimes she bakes three times a week. But it’s not really a big deal as the dough doesn’t need to be handled much. It mainly sits around rising and Mouse can do other things in the meantime.

“I will write down my basic recipe” Mouse said as she put pen to paper. “Once you have done a few loaves you will become more adventurous with your breads. Feel free to experiment with different flours or add linseed or sunflower seeds to the mix, anything you want that your family eats. I personally like caraway seeds in my bread. It helps digestion but it’s not everybodies kettle of fish.”

“So what do I have to watch out for when you can alter the flour as one pleases and add more stuff?” asked Nitpicker, who really feels unsure when instructions are too vague.

“You need to have a good amount of glutenous flour, ie. white flour or whole meal flour, rye flour, spelt or barley. Gluten has a bad reputation but it helps the dough to rise, and gives it shape and a chewy texture. So don’t replace all the flour with gluten free types, though you can add some, for example buckwheat flour.

“And then you have to give it time to rise. Please also be aware that your yeast might be different from the brand I use and might behave differently. For example, some dry yeasts can be mixed with the flour and you don’t need to slosh it up before you knead your dough. The brand I use doesn’t contain anything except dried active yeast and salt and I definitely get the best results when I allow it to foam in liquid first. The same company that produces my yeast puts out a special yeast for bread making and this one also contains wheat flour, emulsifiers (481, 472e), flour treatment agent (ascorbic acid), sugar, vegetable oil and enzymes, as well as yeast. Personally, I am happy with my bread and others love it too, so I don’t see the need to add all that stuff to it. I recommend you try the recipe by the book and if the result isn’t quite what you expect, make some slight changes next time. If the final product clearly tastes yeasty, use less yeast next time. If it doesn’t rise much, use more. But don’t give up. And though you might not believe it, it also mightn’t have worked perfectly just because you baked on a very humid day.

Ingredients

5 cups of white flour and 2 cups of whole meal flour, 2 teaspoons of dry yeast, approximately 3 cups of water, salt (optional). Water to brush on the loaves.

Note: the proportions of the two types of flour are not that important as long as they combine to 7 cups. Use more whole meal for a heavier bread and more white flour for a lighter one.

Method

Combine the two flours in a large bowl and mix thoroughly with a fork. Make a well in the middle and add 1 cup of lukewarm water and the yeast. Let sit for 10 minutes until the yeast looks like sloshy foam. Then mix water and flour together and add the rest of the water. Transfer to a flat surface and knead throroughly for 5 to 10 minutes. I quite enjoy the kneading process. It can be very therapeutic when you’ve had a stressful day.

Place the dough back in the bowl. Cover with a clean tea towel and let it sit in a warm place. The dough will rise to double its size, so it is important you have a big enough bowl. Let it sit for roughly an hour or longer if you want. You can even leave it over night and bake in the morning. Nothing is as nice as fresh bread, still warm from the oven.

Preheat the oven to 210 oC

Take the dough out of the bowl and knead again. Add the salt now, if you want to add salt. Sprinkle flour on a baking tray. Divide the dough into two loaves and place on the baking tray. They will fit side by side on one tray. Let the loaves rise for another 10-15 Minutes until they have has visibly enlarged. The oven should have heated up to the right temperature during this time.

Brush the loaves with water (this will give the bread a crust). Cut the surface diagonally with a sharp knife. I also place a water-filled ramikin on the baking tray for extra crunchiness.

Bake for 45 minutes.

Let cool on a rack.

“I am a little dissappointed” Devil said. “I was hoping you will give us your really yummy sour dough bread recipe. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate here, as sour dough is nothing but water and flour?”

“Yes,” said Mouse, “your are right, but we are only at the beginning. A sour dough starter takes a few days to develop as it works with wild yeasts from the air. Also, you need to use rye flour instead of white flour. We will look at it later. In the meantime let’s take the short cut and use dry yeast.”

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Second Life

January 3, 2015 //
0

socialite bun

Right, it must have been a crazy New Year’s day brunch. Socialite didn’t come home till midnight, but she came home alone. When she finally got up at lunch time the next day she was so happy to find her dough still sitting in the fridge, as the bread bin was empty again. You have to be fast around here when you get up late. The others might beat you to the food. She looked at the dough, it had risen a bit, even in the cold of the fridge. It had lifted the lid of the bowl it was in, but as it was oiled it was still elastic.

“What better way to start the day than with a cup of coffee and fresh buns with butter and jam?” Socialite grabbed the piece of dough and looked at it. “If I only knew what to do next!”

Witch happened to be in the kitchen cleaning up after the others who had a long breakfast today. “Oh, Witch” Socialite whispered in her sweatest voice, ”please, make me some buns. I don’t know how to do it.”

“C’mon, you’re nearly there.” Witch wasn’t going to do it for her, but she talked Socialite through. “You have half the dough left from yesterday. That is enough for four buns. Heat the oven to 200 0C. Knead the dough briefly, make four balls, put them on a tray dusted with flour. In 15 minutes the oven should be hot, brush the buns with water, cut a cross in the surface and put them in the oven for 20 minutes. Done!” Then she left the kitchen.

That was all too much for Socialite, but as she was really hungry she gave it a go. She put the oven on 200 0C, kneaded the dough halfheartedly, formed four buns and placed them on the tray. While she was waiting for the oven to heat up she made her coffee. Once the oven was heated, she cut a cross in the surface of the buns and then realised she had forgotten to brush water on beforehand, she didn’t even know where the brush was kept. Witch wasn’t there to ask for advice. To start afresh was out of the question. “Ah well” Socialite sighed, shrugged her shoulders and held each of the buns under the running tap for a brief moment. Then she put them back on the tray and into the oven.

Twenty minutes later she had the most delicious buns. “Oh that worked out well,” she said to herself. “From now on, I will always keep some dough to make buns the next morning. Or maybe I double the recipe to start with” She couldn’t wait for them to cool down and devoured them there and then, even though her mother had always warned her not to eat warm bakery products that contained yeast. It is suppose to give you a tummy ache. Socialite had no problems, but then she might have one very sturdy stomach. Who knows.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Bring a plate

January 2, 2015 //
0

socialite grissini

Socialite was invited to brunch on New Year’s Day. In our neck of the woods, you are often asked to “bring a plate” when you are invited to a social gathering. Don’t be fooled, it doesn’t mean your host doesn’t have enough dinnerware and you have to bring your own. No, you are expected to fill your plate with something edible to share. Now, Socialite is by no means a kitchen goddess, the less time she has to spend in the kitchen the better. To be honest, for her it would be easiest to nip down to the supermarket and buy something. But this is the crux, she rather spends her money on fashion and make-up than to buy classy food to share around. Unfortunately she is faced with a champagne taste on a beer budget. Luckily she found in one of her women’s magazines this simple recipe for Grissini to go with any dip. The name sounded intriguing, she tried it and loved it. Grissini is the Italian name for bread sticks, and by no means difficult to make. But as it is a yeast dough some rising time is involved. Socialite is certainly not known for her patience and it works in her favour that if you want the Grissinis to be crunchy, you shouldn’t let them rise too much. She finds the time the dough needs to rise is exactly the time she needs to make her dip, usually some sour cream based concoction with fresh herbs.

Needless to say, she gets a lot of praise for her bread sticks, otherwise she wouldn’t make them. The noble sounding name might have something to do with it. Don’t you dare to call her Grissini simply bread sticks. Ever!

Ingredients

3 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of dry yeast, 1 generous cup of lukewarm water, 3 tablespoons of olive oil, pinch of salt if you wish. For the topping: water, mediterranean herbs and sesame or poppy seeds (optional).

Method

Preheat oven to 2000C

Put flour into a bowl, make a well in the middle and pour in most of the water and add yeast. (I always keep some of the water and add later if needed). Let sit for 5 to 10 mins until the yeast has turned into sloshy foam. Add salt and oil and combine everything to an elastic dough, which will take approximately 5 minutes of kneading. In the process add the rest of the water if necessary. The dough should be dry and not sticky. Generally if you knead longer, the flour will absorb the excess water. If it really doesn’t happen add some more flour, but only then.

Put the dough in a bowl, cover with a tea towel and let rest in warm place for 5 to 10 minutes. Knead again and roll out to a rectangle of about half a centimeter thickness. Cut the rectangle into two halves and then into strips of 1 centimetre width. Take each of these strips and roll between your hands to round snakes. (The thinner you roll them, the crunchier they will get in the end. If you make them too thick, they will turn into oblong buns). Then place on a baking tray dusted with flour or on a silicon mat. It is a bit like a jig saw puzzle to place them well on the tray. Leave enough space between the individual pieces, as they will expand during baking. Most likely you will fill two trays.

In a cup or ramekin combine some water and herbs and brush the mixture on the snakes of dough. You might want to do half with herbs and water and brush the other half with water only and sprinkle poppy seeds and/or sesame seeds on the remaining sticks.

Bake in the oven for 15 minutes or until golden brown. If you want really crunchy ones, bake for a little longer.

Cool on a wire rack. Don’t let them cool down in a closed tin. When they cool, water is released, which will form condensation in the tin and make them really soft. Yuk.

Socialite ran out of time to do two trays. That is so typical for her. She didn’t want to waste the rest of the dough and packed it in cling film and chucked it in the fridge. Mouse saw that and mumbled: “I bet she  hopes to score a date today. Then she can turn the dough into nice fresh buns tomorrow morning.” As Socialite was in a hurry and is not the most careful Dede by nature, Mouse thought she better check that she had packed the dough properly.  It doesn’t need to be cling film, but it needs to be airtight, otherwise the dough will get a hard crust. The best is to pour a little olive oil in your clean hands and distribute it on the surface of the dough, then place it in an airtight container and in the fridge.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Pirate’s crackers

January 1, 2015 //
0

pirate snack II

Pirate is pretty difficult to get hold of. Nobody knows exactly what he does or where he hangs out. When he shows up though, you can be sure he is painting the town red. Lucky it was New Year’s eve and sure enough Pirate showed up for the party. When Detail bumped into him she immediately asked him for his never fail cracker recipe.

“Oh dear” Pirate said, “this is one of those things I have made for yonks… Honestly I just throw things together. There is no real recipe” Actually some of the Dedes are adamant it is a sure sign of Pirate’s imminent departure, when he makes his famous crackers. He packs his ration into a tin, shares around what doesn’t fit and off he goes.

Socialite was standing next to them, eavesdropping on the conversation. “If you don’t have a recipe I want to go first. I am invited to a New Year’s brunch and I will make Grissini…”

“You wait your turn,” Detail hissed at Socialite who always wants to jump the queue. Then she turned back to Pirate: “You must have had a recipe to start with.” Detail simply can not imagine that anybody could cook without precise instructions.

Pirate scratched his head: “No really, there are so few ingredients, you can’t go wrong. If you like to eat that sort of thing, it’s the perfect start into your baking career. As with everything practise maketh the master”.

Ingredients

1 cup flour, pinch of salt (optional), 1 tablespoon butter, approx 5 tablespoons of water

Preheat oven to 210o C

Method

Mix flour and salt (if you use salt). Add the butter and work into the flour with your fingertips, so that it is well distributed. Add a little water and knead. Continue to add water little by little and knead well until you have a nice elastic dough. Let it rest in the fridge for at least 5 minutes.

Flour the surface on which you are going to roll out your dough. Divide the dough in two or three balls and roll each of them out as thinly as you like. (Note: the thicker the dough, the longer it will take to bake and the less crisp the crackers will be. I use the noodle machine instead of the rolling pin).

Once the desired thickness is reached, brush water onto the surface. The water makes the crackers crunchier. For extra taste you can sprinkle dried herbs, poppy seeds or sesame seeds on top. Cut into shapes.

Sprinkle flour on a baking tray and place the shapes on the tray. Repeatedly prick the surface of each cookie with a fork. This keeps the crackers from puffing up. (In the picture Pirate demonstrates the difference between a cracker with a pricked surface and one without).

Bake for 7 to 10 minutes. As every oven is different and the thickness varies, watch them carefully so they don’t burn. Get them out when they are just slightly brownish. When they are still warm they are soft, but they will get harder as they cool down.

“I have to try that, it sounds really easy and it doesn’t seem to take long at all” said Detail who had noted down every word. “Imagine you have someone ringing a six, saying they come round at seven. No need to get stressed, with this recipe you have always nibbles at hand.“

“But it is no good for you mum!” Minor interrupted “Remember, your new flame is vegan!”

“Each to his own” said Pirate unperturbed, “just use a good oil instead of butter. Personally I like the buttery taste. You also can mix half white flour with half whole meal, whatever. As I said, you can’t go wrong. Just try it and keep notes of what works for you.”

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

A new old idea

December 28, 2014 //
0

mouse zucchini2

Mouse proudly presented her first harvest yesterday. A zucchini nearly as big as herself. Ah well not quite, but certainly big enough to be proud of. Some of the Dedes were gathered on the kitchen bench to celebrate. After all the “hurrahs” and “well dones” someone commented that it was rather sad that those days where all the Dedes would get together to have impromptu celebrations of the little things in life seem to have gone. Now there is always a Dede missing or moping or thinking it wasn’t a worthy cause to celebrate.

Philosopher said “We need a new project! One that everyone can take part in and take responsibility for the outcome.” That seemed to be the cue for Witch. It was obvious she had been waiting for the right moment. “Remember there was this book we wanted to write?  That would be perfect!”

“Which book do you mean?” Philosopher asked, as in times of change so many ideas get thrown around and plenty of them don’t stick.

“The artist’s survial cookbook. 101 recipes with flour and water” Witch replied excitedly. “You know, the book we wanted to write with simple recipes from buns and scones to pita bread.” It is no secret that cooking is her big passion. She constantly hangs out in the kitchen trying new things.

“But that is so polictically incorrect” interrupted Bad Conscience, who had observed Devil carrying in big 5kg bags of white flour for Witch every other week. “In this day and age, you can not write a book promoting the use of mainly white flour and water. Where is the nutritional value? You, of all Dedes, should know.”

“That is not he point” said Witch defending the idea. “I know that white flour is questionable, but the bread or buns in the shops are mainly made of white flour and have additives to boot. Wholemeal my arse… marketing trick I would say, and don’t even get me started on pancake mix or custard powder.” Everybody was surprised at Witches strong language.

“What’s the point then?” asked Detail to get her back on track.

“I want to show others that you don’t need to be an organic nutter or have heaps of time to make your own stuff” said Witch. “Just start somewhere and it will become routine. You can save so much money and you know exactly what’s in your food.” Witch told them how she did a lot of research when the idea was first floated. Basically she told everyone about it and had nothing but good feedback about the concept. The book would be just perfect for artists and students and everybody else on a tight budget and who wants to be in charge of what they are eating.

“It should be easy” agreed Philosopher. “If each of us writes down their favourite recipe we should be done in no time.”

“I’ll do pancakes” trumpeted Push Push, “yummy buckwheat pancakes. Mmmm”

“But there is egg in it, isn’t there?” asked Detail.

“We have to approach it a little loosely,” said Witch. “Let’s limit ourselves to five or six absolute basic ingredients, flour, water, yeast, egg, butter…”

“I’ll do chocolate” said Top Dog who had just entered the kitchen to look in the fridge for something to eat.

“But” said Witch “chocolate is made of fat, cocoa and sugar. There is no flour and water in it.”

“Forget it then” he said and wandered off again.

“Just let’s get started and hopefully he will come round” said Mouse as she grabbed her notepad and pencil to start writing down her favourite recipes.

 

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Creative Writing, Fun, gardening, Hand Puppets, Life

Busy, busy!

December 24, 2014 //
2

high five

The Dedes were busy with their last Christmas preparations all day yesterday and were hardly home. You would not believe what Top Dog and Empress in Waiting did while they had the house to themselves. I’ll have to start from the beginning. Their new plan for the living arrangements is that they themselves will occupy the top shelf, the next level down will be for all the existing Lil’Dedes and shelf underneath will be reserved for new Lil’Dedes that are yet to be created. All the Dedes will move to the bottom shelf, which gives them the option to also use the floorspace in front of the shelf if need be. At least this is what Empress in Waiting had proposed to King in her email. King didn’t think much of the plan and said “No”. After all, the Dedes are much bigger than the Lil’Dedes and there are 60 or so of them but only 24 Lil’Dedes. Empress in Waiting‘s reasoning was that the Dedes are not money earners. They only act in movies and are shown off in galleries, while the Lil’ ones will be sold, so they need to be visible. She overlooked that the art cupboard is not public and nothing in there will be visible to anybody but myself. And so emails were flying to and fro until King finally got tired and shouted a firm ” I’ve made my decision! No more discussions!” across the room.

But for Empress in Waiting a problem is not resolved unless she gets her way. So the King’s decision was not acceptable at all. First she sat in a corner and moped, pondering what else she could do. Sly Top Dog, who is always on the look out for someone to help in return for future favours, shook his head and said “What’s the problem? It’s Christmas, they’re all busy. We’ll just do what we want and once it is all done, they won’t make us move back! That’s far too much work”. As he is a hard worker he rolled up his sleeves and started immediately. Surprisingly Empress in Waiting, who is a bit precious and not too keen on physical work at all, chipped in and shuffled a few things around as well. It took them pretty much all day to re-organise the art cupboard and when the Dedes came back from the shops the move was complete. All they could do was stand there, jaws dropped to the ground, and watch Top Dog and Empress in Waiting giving each other high fives on the top shelf.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Creative Writing, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, Relationships, Social Network

Carol singing

December 22, 2014 //
4

carol singing

If you have read my blog lately, you know that there is a bit of a rift in the Dede world. The whole thing started when Top Dog arrived a few months back and it’s definitely caused by his nature. Like any top dog he wants to be the unquestioned leader. He’ll do anything to get there and doesn’t even shy away from underhanded measures. Some of the Lil’Dedes are growing increasingly wary and they feel more connected to the Dedes rather than the other Lil’Dedes. They’d prefer not to be forced into moving onto the top shelf and would rather like to mix with their Dede colleagues. Is it really so surprising that Lil’Artist dreams of setting up his easel in L’Artiste’s studio? He admires L’Artiste so much and believes he could learn heaps by just breathing the same air. Lil’Elephant would like to become a ballerina just like Push Push, the Dede elephant lady. Who would be a better teacher than someone who has overcome the same obstacles?

So a group of Lil’Dedes took it upon themselves to organise a carol singing evening, a nice little event in the spirit of the season. It was a spur of the moment decision, as the tension in the art cupboard becomes increasingly difficult to cope with. You could immediately see that the three of them went to a lot of trouble. They had constructed a gorgeous Christmas tree, complete with a star on top and presents around the base. Then they got a snow white table cloth out of the linen cupboard, stood up, and sang their little hearts out. It didn’t really matter that their singing was rather bad, because sadly no-one showed up. No Dedes and no lil’Dedes either.

“Ah well”, said Lil’Clown disillusioned after they had sang their repertoire for the fifth time. “The Dedes really don’t like us! Top Dog is right, they think they are better than us.”

I was pretty angry with the Dede’s behaviour. Even if they don’t believe in Christmas, it couldn’t have hurt to show up and show some community spirit. Turns out they didn’t know it was on. When Lil’Clown wanted to send out the invitation email, Empress in Waiting was hogging the computer writing important emails to King on behalf of Top Dog. Lil’Clown couldn’t wait any longer. He still had other preparations to do so he asked Empress in Waiting to send the invitiation once she was done with her stuff. She simply forgot. Yeah, right!

 

 

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Creative Writing, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, Relationships

Slow Market Day

December 20, 2014 //
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market day

Today was the day we were waiting for. Market Day. Over the last few weeks I’ve made a number of Lil’Dedes to sell. I should have left Devil behind and taken Fairy Godmother instead. She might have had the power to swing the weather. Unfortunately, half an hour into the event, it started raining and the punters were few and far between. No, definitely not Market Day weather. The upshot was, all the Lil’Dedes had to come back home with me and now we have a real problem. They need a place to live. You might think they are little and that should be easy. At least that is what I reckoned and I left them to it to sort it out. It’s not that simple, though. Since Top Dog arrived everything has turned into a competitive power game. Whenever the Dedes make a decision he throws a spanner in the works. Quietly, he has groomed the Lil’Dedes to become his disciples. As the Lil’Dedes were even newer than Top Dog, he had an easy time convincing them he should be their ring leader.

As soon as a new character was finished, Top Dog had a lengthy conversation with them. After this introduction they voluntarily separated themselves from the Dedes and didn’t even try to make friends. They all went into the space on the top shelf that Top Dog had created for them after he moved Mouse’s stuff. Even though every single Dede had told Top Dog that the top shelf has always been reserved for Mouse, he just ignored them and send all his new followers up there. The Dedes watched, but let it go for the time being, as they were convinced a few of the Lil’Dedes would be shifted and not come back today. They thought once they knew how many will stay, they could sit together and discuss re-organising the available space. The Dedes are keen on being one big happy family, large and small together.

When we got back from the market, Devil called an emergency meeting as he knew the available space is a squeeze. He wants the space situation sorted out swiftly, and once and for all. It’s no secret he wants Mouse to have her top shelf back for obvious reasons, but she might have to share it with L’Artiste or some other Dedes. Top Dog didn’t feel too well today and therefore excused himself from the meeting, but he send his new minion, Empress in Waiting. What a waste of time. She just sat there teetering on the edge of her seat, smiling and not saying much. Finally, at the end, she did say it was all good. Devil, though, was surprised there wasn’t much discussion. He took Empress in Waiting’s word for it and went straight to Mouse and assured her she will have her space back in no time.

Empress in Waiting, meanwhile, went back to her lot. Nobody knows what was said, but it didn’t take her long to write an email to King, who she believes will make the final decision, demanding that the Lil’Dedes not only get the top shelf but also the second and third shelf. Mouse and all the other Dedes can have the bottom shelf. Her reasoning was that there will be more Lil’Dedes in the near future and she wants to make sure there is enough space for all of them should the time come.

The King, wisely enough, asked Devil what happend. He was speechless.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, Relationships, Social Network
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