pirate snack II

Pirate is pretty difficult to get hold of. Nobody knows exactly what he does or where he hangs out. When he shows up though, you can be sure he is painting the town red. Lucky it was New Year’s eve and sure enough Pirate showed up for the party. When Detail bumped into him she immediately asked him for his never fail cracker recipe.

“Oh dear” Pirate said, “this is one of those things I have made for yonks… Honestly I just throw things together. There is no real recipe” Actually some of the Dedes are adamant it is a sure sign of Pirate’s imminent departure, when he makes his famous crackers. He packs his ration into a tin, shares around what doesn’t fit and off he goes.

Socialite was standing next to them, eavesdropping on the conversation. “If you don’t have a recipe I want to go first. I am invited to a New Year’s brunch and I will make Grissini…”

“You wait your turn,” Detail hissed at Socialite who always wants to jump the queue. Then she turned back to Pirate: “You must have had a recipe to start with.” Detail simply can not imagine that anybody could cook without precise instructions.

Pirate scratched his head: “No really, there are so few ingredients, you can’t go wrong. If you like to eat that sort of thing, it’s the perfect start into your baking career. As with everything practise maketh the master”.


1 cup flour, pinch of salt (optional), 1 tablespoon butter, approx 5 tablespoons of water

Preheat oven to 210o C


Mix flour and salt (if you use salt). Add the butter and work into the flour with your fingertips, so that it is well distributed. Add a little water and knead. Continue to add water little by little and knead well until you have a nice elastic dough. Let it rest in the fridge for at least 5 minutes.

Flour the surface on which you are going to roll out your dough. Divide the dough in two or three balls and roll each of them out as thinly as you like. (Note: the thicker the dough, the longer it will take to bake and the less crisp the crackers will be. I use the noodle machine instead of the rolling pin).

Once the desired thickness is reached, brush water onto the surface. The water makes the crackers crunchier. For extra taste you can sprinkle dried herbs, poppy seeds or sesame seeds on top. Cut into shapes.

Sprinkle flour on a baking tray and place the shapes on the tray. Repeatedly prick the surface of each cookie with a fork. This keeps the crackers from puffing up. (In the picture Pirate demonstrates the difference between a cracker with a pricked surface and one without).

Bake for 7 to 10 minutes. As every oven is different and the thickness varies, watch them carefully so they don’t burn. Get them out when they are just slightly brownish. When they are still warm they are soft, but they will get harder as they cool down.

“I have to try that, it sounds really easy and it doesn’t seem to take long at all” said Detail who had noted down every word. “Imagine you have someone ringing a six, saying they come round at seven. No need to get stressed, with this recipe you have always nibbles at hand.“

“But it is no good for you mum!” Minor interrupted “Remember, your new flame is vegan!”

“Each to his own” said Pirate unperturbed, “just use a good oil instead of butter. Personally I like the buttery taste. You also can mix half white flour with half whole meal, whatever. As I said, you can’t go wrong. Just try it and keep notes of what works for you.”