Archives for the month of: November, 2016

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Chance’s comment made Witch hot under her collar. “I stick to my values, even if I have to burn at the stake.”

“Let’s see if this is true” said Detail, who is currently re-reading five years of Dede blog for their upcoming anniversary. Yesterday she came across the five questions Devil had ask Witch when they were playing tag-a-Dede in 2013. “I will ask you these questions one-by-one again and let the readers know tomorrow what your answer was,” suggested Detail.

“I know what I’ve said,” replied Witch confidently. “I am more interested in what our readers answer to these questions. So please shoot!”
“Q1: What is your pet hate?”

Chance didn’t get a chance to clarify what she meant yesterday.

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Out of the blue, Detail’s half-sister Chance showed up. She always pops up when you least expect it. Both of them are first generation Dedes and haven’t been on speaking terms for a while. Chance didn’t fluff around, reached out to Detail and said, “maybe you and I got too set in our ways. I believe now is the time to re-evaluate every aspect of our being.”

Detail didn’t want to be a party pooper and shook hands, but rolled her eyes. “It’s so easy for you, you have no commitments! I have my daughter Minor to look after and protect.”

 

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Mouse is the Dede administrator who does everything by the rulebook. She too, is at her wits end, but instead of counting on magic, she went to Devil’s Advocate and asked what to do next.

“Even the rulebook gives us some options,” said Devil’s Advocate. “Rest assured, I will watch Top Dog like a hawk. As soon as he gives us half a chance we will impeach him.”

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“It’s not as easy as Devil’s Advocate makes it out to be” said Detail who is currently researching for the anniversary of the Dedes. She picked a random conversation where @mdubbya87 asked a legitimate and factual question and reaped a barrage of abuse from a fellow human. The fierceness of the comments alarmed her extremely “How can you have a discussion with someone who is simply not prepared to debate?”  she asked and added   “it’s by no means an American phenomenon. We are living in a time where facts have become totally irrelevant… ”

“Shut up, Detail! No-one is interested in your waffle,” called Norman T Newbie from somewhere in the dark.

 

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Top Dog was very happy of course. He had achieved what he so desperately wanted and that was it. No more work required from him. He can rest on his laurels now and let his minions to the work. The Dedes who had supported him sprang into action making the best use of their new power. Someone suggested that a sovereign had the right to mint and issue coins. In an era when images were as rare as hen’s teeth, this used to be the most important propaganda vehicle. The subordinates had to look at the ruler every time they traded. The idea of printing money appealed tremendously to Top Dog, but he is business savvy and had an inkling that in a world of electronic transactions it wouldn’t fly.

“I can tell you what would be much more effective,” said Norman T Newbie, who is eager to earn brownie points. “Print your image and your programme on a coffee mug and all those urban people who dislike you so much will be reminded of you daily.” He even had ordered a sample.

“Good thinking, my man” said Top Dog as he admired his photo. “I promote you to chief-advisor.” (Mugs available at http://zazzle.com/dededesign*)

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The other camp was in total shambles. Yesterday Devil found Foxy Lady at the edge of the cabinet. “What are you doing here, my love?” he asked, dragging her away from the abyss. “I don’t know myself anymore” she said depressed.

“What makes you say that?”

“At first I felt so helpless and angry about Top Dog’s speeches that I wanted to push him of his shelf. It was totally against my nature and I felt so bad I had to run away. And now, hearing more speeches, I am angry I didn’t succeed.”

“Don’t worry, most of us would feel the same” said Devil and gave her a big hug.

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Devil thought it might be an idea to consult Esta Blished, the fairy godmother. Remember the old lady suffers from Alzheimers and has forgotten how to cast a spell. Back in August she had mumbled some interesting words, that didn’t make sense at the time. In the light of recent events, though, they are perfectly clear. When Devil arrived at her place she was lying on the floor cursing and swearing. He rushed to her aid. Angry and embarrassed about her fall, she pushed him away and screamed “Oh, man, it takes more than one devil to get me on my feet again. Where the heck is my magic wand!”

There is obviously some fighting spirit left in the Esta.

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Mouse and Devil spoke out today. They have been the dynamic administration team from the start. Right from the beginning when the Dedes where born as no-bodies five years ago. They got very tired recently and Devil discussed with the artist if it was worthwhile carrying on. “Well” said the artist, “I certainly think so. Let’s face it, you guys only have to deal with Top Dog. Our friends in America have Trump!” Devil nodded and said “you’re right, we have to continue the battle against the self-promoting narcissists and continue to embrace diversity!”

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Unexpectedly and virtually overnight the Dedes got a new motto: “Fake it and you make it!” Despite all our best efforts, Top Dog came out trump.

“Does this mean you would go as far as rigging an election?” asked the stunned artist. (All the Dedes are speechless and curled up in the corner).

“No, no that would be so third world country and too easy to uncover. No, I am much more cunning than that. I rigged the polls before the elections. That is a little trick I learned from my Brexit friends!”

“How is this suppose to work?”
“The media loves me and I could create a very close race. I made sure I was level-heading, but never take the lead. Fall back and catch up again. Just enough for the other party to feel confident. But only so little that it was clear to every last marginal supporter of my camp that their vote counts, that they are needed. Everybody wants to be needed. That, my dear artist, is how you mobilise the masses.”

Top Dog was exhausted but delighted. He had achieved what he so desperately wanted. For an unguarded brief moment he let his hair down and the followers got a glimpse of what he really looks like without his wig.

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“Good night for now and sleep well, my friends in Dedeland!”

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“Who wants to look at a sourpuss Monkey on their coffee break?” thought Alien. After Monkey had gone, he sneaked up to the computer and logged into the dededesign zazzle store and removed all coffee mugs, leaving only his one. “That is so much more uplifting” he said rubbing his hands together. The other side of the mug shows the Dede motto: “I smile, because I have no idea what’s going on.”

He was just about to leave when he heard a big hurrah from the Top Dog camp and someone suggested: “Good idea, these coffee mugs, we need to have on too. Let’s think up a catchy saying over night!”

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Monkey got good response yesterday, when he reminded the readers about the Artist’s Survival Cookbook. This encouraged him to revisit the dededesign zazzle store wondering if this was something he could promote as well. And yes, he found coffee mug with his image. Monkey is a bit of a klutz and Alien felt uncomfortable seeing him at the computer. “Hey, what are you doing on the artist’s laptop, Monkey?” he asked and added “You know very well only Mouse and Devil are allowed to touch that.”

“Someone has to look after the Dedes’ interests. Everything seems to have gone to the dogs.”

“Please, please not you, we don’t want monkey business!”

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“It really annoys me that you Dedes seem to think life is just a big fat joke” said Monkey, as miserable as ever. “Truth be told, we will need to earn a living soon or we all have to go back into the big recycling bin where we came from.” Then he held up the book the Dedes created last year. If you want to support the Dedes, it is available from Amazon.com or Createspace.com

“If you just wouldn’t look so miserable, Monkey, you really put the punters off,” said Milky Bar Devil, the coverboy.

 

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Alien is shown as our profile pic on Instagram. The Dedes believe it is quite a cute picture and very welcoming. Yesterday it disappeared miraculously. Turns out Alien had a problem with his visa. He is a bit slack. Anyway as he is the Dedes’ heraldic animal, he was pressured to sort it out asap. Which he did and sure enough he is back today. I have never told you that he also coind the Dedes’ motto: “I smile largely because I have no clue what’s going on”

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Good on you Alien!