snippedy drinking

This week the contestants have to talk about themselves and Snippedy had a rather bad start. When Mouse took the rubbish out she found the clown lolling about with a bottle of schnapps behind the theatre . “You know,” Mouse said to console him, “it’s okay, not everyone wants to talk about themselves.” But Snippedy felt sorry for himself. “Yes they all do” he said recalcitrantly. “I am the only one who can’t. I stuffed up big time” and he took another gulp from the bottle.

“Well” said Mouse resolutely “this is certainly not the solution!” She grabbed the bottle and chucked it into the bin together with her other rubbish and left a gobsmacked Snippedy standing there.

Lapdog intro

Meanwhile, in the theatre Devil had to figure out who is next. There were two contestants with equal numbers: Lapdog and Granddad Max. Devil didn’t put much thought in it. “Okay, ladies first” he said and made a gesture towards Lapdog. Lapdog looked around first and then came up to the stage. “I guess you mean me” she said to Devil. “If you want me to go first, I would have appreciated it if you’d said beauty before age or something.”

Devil looked at her in astonishment. “Aren’t you a lady?” he asked.

“No I am not,” she said quite bruskly.  “Just because I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m female.” Devil didn’t know what to say and looked her up and down. “Well” he said quietly and hoped the contestant wouldn’t hear it “we Dedes are heads only, so I can’t look into your pants.”

Lapdog has obviously had this discussion before. “We Dedes still have a gender and I consider myself gender fluid.”

“What is that supposed to mean? God only made two genders” said Devil at a loss. Lapdog laughed out loud. “That is too much to discuss here in a talent show” she said. “All I can say is that in my profession it is very beneficial to be able to emphasise with both genders equally. And I can.”

“Okay we’ll leave it then” said Devil, happy to conclude the subject. After all the Dedes embrace diversity. “Can you tell us something about yourself then?”

“I thought I just did!”