Archives for the month of: December, 2012

L'artiste painting

Ding-a-ling-a-ling, we are now opening the last round of the “Super Dede 2012” competition. It is skills week this week! The candidates have to present us with something they are good at. They are totally free in what they do, absolutely no limitations.  This will lead up to the ‘Big Finale’, where all the candidates will be on show again with a summary of their performances over the last three weeks. Then there will be some more voting and the winner will be announced! Don’t forget, any comment during the competition will go into the draw for a signed copy of the book Hermit’s web or the few friends I need, I hand-craft myself. The consolation prizes will be 2 packs of Dede postcards (10 each).

Up until now, the stage has been a crammed little area on a coffee table in my living room and Devil had dismantled it to make himself a hammock on Saturday. I guess Devil couldn’t be bothered putting it back into place yesterday, so the organisers (Devil and Detail) decided the candidates can choose their own location this week. At first Detail wasn’t too pleased with the idea. She likes to have everything done properly. But Devil convinced her by saying that some of them might need more space for their performance anyway.

L’Artiste has made a request to be first in this round. He said he is feeling a bit drained by the whole affair. After being on centre stage for this prolonged period, he is now craving for the solitude of his studio. None of the other competitors objected. Secretly they were quite happy that someone had put their hand up. I guess they where too shattered yesterday to rehearse their acts.

So LArtiste invited us into his studio. This is usually a no-go zone for everyone. No-go mainly because the floor is littered with old magazines and stuff. I don’t know how anybody can work in this mess, you absolutely have no space to move. He showed us one of the pieces he is currently working on. And I finally understand why he wears this brightly coloured tunic. I first thought it is a fashion statement, but no, it is because he is one messy puppet. You might know, the Dedes have to share the robes, there are not enough for every one, and L’Artiste is just protecting the dress for the others, so they don’t all look like painters.

Of course, Detail asked L’Artiste about the meaning of his work. He wiggled his way out of an answer and said: “I thought question time was last week… Will the other puppets get asked to explain their work as well?” Detail was not impressed that he tried to dodge her question, I could tell, but L’Artiste left it at this. He is just so confident in himself.

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The Dedes were pestering me for a while. They wanted to have a real Christmas party. I had told them some time ago I won’t be around on the 25th of December, Christmas Day, when you usually have your family get-together and get your presents. We non-Dedes are going up north to celebrate with family and I won’t be able to take all the Dedes with me, but I might take some. – I can already hear them calling: Take me! Take me!  But this is still a week away….

Back to the Dede Christmas Party, which happened yesterday. You might have gathered, I am not the best organiser under the sun and I always ask Mouse to do the dirty work. Once again, she worked her little butt off to make it a memorable event. She organised such a typical New Zealand Christmas party. We had the most gorgeous day, beautiful sunshine – it must have been the hottest day of the year so far. Mouse had found the perfect location. I had suggested the beach, but for the hydrophobic Dedes that might have turned out rather displeasing. Mouse opted for a site high on a hill under an ancient Pohutukawa tree. So the Dedes could sit in the sun or the shade, what ever they liked. Of course, we also had all the drama that usually goes with a Christmas party in the sun (Mouse is not at fault here). I took plenty of pictures, so have a look at the slide show.

For my readers in the Northern Hemisphere, who are not used to the Christmas Season in the sun, here is a quick summary of what usually happens at such events: Everybody arrives at the picnic site. There is plenty of drink and also some food. As it is so hot you rather take to drink than food. You sit around and chit chat with people you haven’t seen  for a year or didn’t care for, while you slowly get drunk. In the scoring heat this state is reached relatively quickly. At one point Santa gives out presents, followed by more drink. The ones who drink get merrier and merrier and the ones who don’t, become more miserable as the conversations go round and round in ever decreasing circles. The kids (who don’t drink of course) do the Christmas Crackers, the grown-ups do the gossiping and the inevitable fighting, and new alliances might also form. Then suddenly everyone goes all quiet and has a little nap. Once everybody comes out of their stupor, the big clean-up happens and the left-overs are packed up… and that is it till next year…. All Mouse can hope for is that everyone has the feeling they had a great afternoon.

I of course was the designated driver and photographer and couldn’t partake in the affair, but I enjoyed the afternoon watching them. I won’t tell you what happened in the car on the way home and needless to say I am enjoying my morning coffee today in total peace and quiet.

Thanks Mouse!

devil hammock

The week of interviewing the candidates has taken its toll. I have never seen Devil so exhausted, honestly. He finally admits, it is not that easy to deal with all the different characters. As soon as he got up this morning, he took down the theatre curtain and made himself a nice hammock in the backyard. I don’t think we will be seeing much of him today.

devil and harvey

Harvey is the last contestant in this round of questions. Remember the gambling rabbit that made all Dedes cringe last week? Now he seemed to be a changed puppet. The bounce was gone, he moped along, it looked as if he was dragging his long ears on stage.

“You seem a bit down today, mate” said Devil when he shook Harvey‘s hand to greet him. “I didn’t get a single date last week.” Harvey said cheerlessly.

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes, I am a little. I really don’t understand what women want!….”

Harvey, this is not  a dating competition…. And I am not a psychologist! Let’s just get on with the show!” Devil was visibly uncomfortable that Harvey wanted to speak about his last performance. Harvey plonked himself on the chair and continued talking “…You know this is just how I react in stress situations. Pig freezes and I get loud. Everybody felt sorry for poor old Pig when it happened. It would be nice if you guys could cut me a bit of slack as well. I am really not that bad….”

“Let it go…” Devil butted in “Let’s just move on and see how you go today. Here are your three questions:”

1. What would you like to do for Christmas?

2. Being Christmas and all, what can you do to make the world a better place?

3. What are your plans for next year?

“What would I like to do for Christmas? If I had the money I would take Deutsch Fraulein to Germany. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have to buy a lottery ticket first, but if I win, I’ll take her. She would so love that.” He stopped there for a little and then added more softly: “maybe she would like me then!”

“For the second question, to be honest Devil, what could a little rabbit like me do to make the world a better place? Yes, if I had heaps of money I would set up a big farm and all the kids in the neighbourhood could grow their own food there and their mums would love me for that. There is no question, if I had enough, I would give money to all sorts of charities… But really what can a little rabbit like me do? Particularly one that is broke.”

“What are my plans? I am sure I am going to win the jackpot in 2013! Thirteen is my lucky number. When I have all this money, I will buy a big house and settle down. Maybe Cash Cow can move in with me – living in a garage can’t be too good for her – she could look after my kids. Once I have this big house, the ladies will find me more attractive, and I will find a nice girl who can cook and wants to settle down with me and start a family. I know it will be all good, when I win the lottery.”

Harvey’s eyes glazed over and everybody in the audience could see what a wonderful world he was creating for himself.

How do you rate Harvey’s answers?

devil and mouse

The next in line for questioning was Mouse. She came running onto the stage and the first thing she said to Devil was that she nearly called in sick. The flu is going around and she feels like she is coming down with something. But she has so much to do. She can’t afford to lie idly in bed for a day or two, as she is trying to organise the Dede Christmas Party. Weather permitting, they all want to go out to the beach somewhere and that is a major undertaking. Forty puppets…. it is not an easy feat.

Devil didn’t say much, he just waited until she had finished talking and settled down a little.

“Take a deep breath, Mouse” he said finally “it will be all fine. Are you ready then?” Mouse nodded eagerly and got her notepad and pen out while Devil read out the three questions.

1. What do you want for Christmas?

“Peace and quiet” Mouse said instantly, but Devil made a sign she should wait until he had finished.

2. If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you like to do?

3. What is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

Mouse waited. It was obvious she thought there must be another question. “In your own time” Devil invited her to give her answers.

“Sorry, what was that again?”

“What do you want for Christmas?” Devil repeated. Mouse laughed hysterically. “I thought that was just chit-chat, but it was the first question.” Mouse got more and more frazzled.

“You said peace and quiet before” Devil reminded her to get her back on track.

“Yes, I personally want to have some quiet time, but don’t you want to know what I want for all the Dedes or the world?”

“The interpretation of the question is totally up to you!” Devil explained. Mouse looked in the air and after a while she succumbed: “No, I can’t think of anything else. I will go with peace. That is what I want for Christmas. So on to the second question… what is the biggest downside….”

‘That was question Number 3, but you can answer it first if you like” Devil interrupted

“No, no, we will do it in the right order. So what was question two again?” she asked. Devil read it out once more: “If you could do whatever you wanted…”

“Yes, yes, yes… Why would I want to do something different? I have a good standing in the Dede world. Everybody knows me, I know everybody. Plenty of things for me to do.  No, I have no wishes to do anything else!”

“You don’t want to see your relatives in Europe, for example?”

“Ahhhhh, is that what you mean? I thought you meant what I want to do for work. You need to be a bit clearer with your phrasing! And no, I don’t want to see my relatives in Europe, how would I get there?”

“So, what’s your answer then?” Devil asked to clarify.

“What is your question?” Mouse countered.

“The question is ‘What would you like to do’….”

“I know, but you need to be a bit more specific”

“But Mouse,” Devil started to get agitated now “the whole idea is that the readers find out something about you. They want to hear how you interpret the question. Otherwise I could ask you closed questions that you can only answer with yes or no!”

As Devil got louder, Mouse noticed she might have pushed it a bit too far. She had no intention to aggravate the host and she backed down: “Okay okay then, my answer is, I am blissfully happy with what I do!”

“Can we move on then?” Devil asked with a sigh of relief  “So your last question is, what is the biggest downside of being a Dede?

“My first thought when I heard the question was that we are not waterproof and can only go out in sunshine, but I will change my mind… The biggest downside of being a Dede is that we are dependent on humans. One in particular, our artist. She made me say all these things, and I came across real ditsy today, didn’t I? So please don’t forget, it wasn’t really me! Honestly, I am not really that ditsy.”

How do you rate Mouse’s answers

devil and L Artiste

L’Artiste was still wearing his unique tunic. He must have copyrighted his appearance as I haven’t seen any other puppets taking up the fad.

When L’Artiste sat down, Devil shuffled the cards to make us believe the questions are random, but honestly, when you’ve heard today’s questions one wonders if Devil rigged it. Isn’t it just a tad suspicious that L’Artiste, of all candidates, got the two questions posted by German artist Jürgen (or was it Buchalov?). But then does it really matter? This round is an exercise about how fast the candidates can think on their feet and finding out more about their personalities.

The first question didn’t go down too well though. Devil read out:

1. Where do you want to be in five years’ time?

As soon as the question was read out, L’Artiste jumped up from his seat shouting indignantly. “What sort of question is that?… Where do you want to be in five years’ time?” He shook his head while pacing up and down. “I am not in a job interview here, am I? How dare you ask me this middle management crap! I am an artist and if I am still alive in five years time, of course I want to be an artist. It doesn’t mean I will still do the same thing as I do today. Who knows what my art will be!” He stopped pacing and smiled at Devil “C’mon, Devil, Challenge me! Give me a question with some beef!”

Devil calmly explained again that all the questions were random before reading out the remaining two;

2. What are the three most beautiful things for a puppet?

3. What do you think about ‘Eden’, the special place humans are longing for?

L’Artiste was obviously a little happier with these and remained seated for the rest of the session.

“The second question, what are the three most beautiful things for a puppet? I can only answer from my personal perspective, as we are all different. Number 1 on my personal list is our very close-knit and supportive network. Number 2 is the mutual respect we have for each other and our ability to kiss and make up. We do have our fights, but they never last terribly long. Number 3 is the space we have from each other. If we need to we can have some time out. We can virtually drop of the planet, but come back some time later when we are ready and are welcomed back with open arms.” He paused for a moment nodding slightly a couple of times, then he continued: “Let me summarise this. The three most beautiful things for a puppet are ONE:  Friendship, TWO: Friendship and THREE: Friendship. No question about it!”

“The third question is right down my alley, isn’t it? I have thought about it a lot. Ever since I first saw Hieronymus Bosch’s painting ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’ as a little whipper snapper.” He turned to Devil and said with a little wink: “But I can assure you Devil, it wasn’t Eden that attracted me to this painting.”

“Does Eden exist, or doesn’t it? If it really existed, we Dedes certainly would be in it. But let’s be realistic, ‘Eden’, ‘Paradise’, ‘Arcadia’, every culture has such a place, different only in name. They are first and foremost places of harmony. Unfortunately, true harmony is a figment of the imagination. As soon as two people, or puppets for that matter, are in the same place there is potential for dissonance. We Dedes certainly strive for harmony and a good place to live, but I don’t think we will ever achieve it. I strongly believe the reason for our existence is to strive and do our best! After all we are only Dedes, just as humans are only human!

What do you think about L’Artiste’s answers?

cash cows question

You might have expected to see Mouse today, but the order of the candidates is pulled out of  a hat, so the next one up was Cash Cow.

Don’t be fooled by her droopy eyes and her circumstances that find her living in a garage. Cash Cow had a rather well received performance last week and if you care to listen, you will realise she still has a lot to offer, even though her udder ran dry.

Devil got up from his seat when Cash Cow appeared and greeted her with a kiss on her cheek. He then waited until she had settled on her seat before he sat down himself and read out the questions she has to answer:

1. If you could be something else, what would you rather be?

2. What is your biggest regret in life?

3. If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

Cash Cow sat quietly for a while. You could see her mulling the questions over in her mind and then finally she moved her rather large pink flower into position and started to speak:

“What would I like to be if I could be something else?” She asked into space “…I would like to be a fountain… To be precise, a fountain of knowledge. It is not so different from being a Cash Cow really, except I would attract a totally different audience, wouldn’t I? Puppets would come to me for my wisdom, not for the money they’d expect. As you know, I am dry… Yes, you can suck a Cash Cow dry – and once this fact was out in the open, my stream of visitors ebbed away as well. I don’t think this could happen to a fountain of knowledge.

“I have to disappoint you with the second question though, my dear. Regret is such a big word. Don’t get bogged down by it. I always live to have no regrets. So if you don’t mind, I will have to pass on this one.”

“With the last question, I have to disappoint you again… I don’t want to be greedy… I am happy with one wish and one wish only!” She paused and Devil looked at her expectantly.

“I would wish for all my future wishes to come true. If this one is granted the other two become obsolete and I could give them away, to someone who really needs them and uses them wisely”, she said with a sparkle in her eye. And it looked as if she was thinking of Pig who certainly would wish for a fridge full of beer. “Not everyone wishes sensibly!” she added after a short giggle.

How do you rate Cash Cow’s answers?

devil pig professor

First up for the second round on stage was Pig again. Remember last week? Pig froze on stage and had a very poor performance. Now Devil had just made himself comfortable with his stack of question cards, when Professor and Pig appeared on stage together. Professor walked up to Devil and whispered something in his ear. Devil shook his head a few times and finally Professor left the stage leaving Pig behind. Devil told me later, that Professor had asked whether he could sit there with Pig as a bit of support for his mate. Pig was still very, very nervous. Devil’s answer of course was a resounding no. However, he promised to keep the questions simple today.

Pig sat down and immediately started staring at a tiny piece of floor right in front of him.

“Are you ready?” Devil asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever will be” said Pig without looking up, but astoundingly confident. Professor must have coached him all last week.

Devil shuffled the question cards and read out three questions for today’s candidate:

1. What are your aspirations in life?

2. What would you consider bliss?

3. What is your biggest fear?

“Can you start from the beginning again, please?” Pig asked. “What do you mean by apparition?”

“Aspiration I said, not apparition. Just tell me what you want to be!”

“I only know what I don’t want to be… I don’t want to become pork chops like any other pig. That’s certainly not how I want to end up. Or as bacon. Professor tells me I have to be careful, particularly now that it is Christmas time. He says it is a dangerous time for a juicy little pig like me and he doesn’t want me to go out by myself with all the barbeques going on.” When he started to talk about Professor he all of a sudden could speak clearly and fluently, but he moved away from answering the question.

“It is certainly a good start, knowing what you don’t want. Isn’t it? Everything else will come with time” Devil said to indicate he deemed the question sufficiently answered. But Pig just looked at him blankly.

“So what would you consider bliss or heaven, then?” Devil repeated the second question as Pig seemed to be lost again.

“A fridge full of cold beer!” Pig answered instantly without consideration.

“That’s it? That is your answer?”

“Yes, I’ll stick to that!”

“Okay and what is your biggest fear?” Devil asked the last question again.

“Ending up as pork chops…” Pig said again, after staring at the floor for a while. Then he looked up. He must have seen Professor standing behind the curtains looking very disappointed, so he quickly added: “And that Professor leaves me. Yes, that is my biggest fear, Professor leaving me. Yes, Professor keeps me safe. So I hope he won’t leave me. This would be disastrous. I might as well become pork chops then…”

“Thank you Pig, that was all very revealing!”

“Was it?” Pig asked, obviously surprised that it was all over so quickly.

What do you think of Pig’s performance this week?

deutsch fraulein fridge

Philosopher raised his concerns yesterday that Deutsch Fraulein is missing the German pre-Christmas period. If you have ever visited Germany in  Advent, you will know what he is talking about. Christmas is the winter feast of warmth and comfort in the midst of cold and darkness. If you look past the commercial side of it, it is really something: The snow, the glittering lights in the dark, the spice filled air. The Germans are one lucky folk in that they don’t have Sunday trading yet (or at least they didn’t have it last time I was there). Sundays are still days of contemplation, particularly in winter when the body wants to go into hibernation.

Here Downunder we call the pre-Christmas time the ‘silly season’. I always thought it is because you have to go to an endless line-up of barbeques and office parties, which of course goes hand in hand with drinking copious amounts of alcohol and being silly.  I only recently found out ‘silly season’ is an historic newspaper term from the Northern Hemisphere and it describes the time of year when parliament is  in recess and the newspapers have to come up with other (less important) stories to fill their pages. Of course Christmas and the long summer holidays coincide here. And come to think of it in terms of newspapers, silly season is all year round here.

For me personally, Christmas in the sun has lost its meaning. It is totally debased and what is left is one gigantic commercial feast. Needless to say it passes me by. I am out in the sun enjoying life. Come next winter and the coldness, I am back contemplating.

But I do understand Deutsch Fraulein (German Girl). She reads all these German blogs and gets terrible cravings for a good solid Christmas. So I thought as consolation I will buy here a ‘Stollen’, which is a special German Christmas cake with marzipan in it. To keep it fresh I put it in the fridge. Somebody must have told her. Next time I looked in the fridge, there she was, attacking the Stollen with a fork. She was so keen she hadn’t even taken the plastic off. She obviously found the perfect dark and cold place and is now devouring the comfort food. I hope she doesn’t forget to contemplate and that she leaves a piece for me.

 

end of first week-2

All the performances I wrote about this week happened  last Sunday – one after another – it was pretty exhausting. At the end of the first stage, L’Artiste and Cash Cow sang an impromptu duet. I mentioned it before, none of the Dedes can sing, but it is the thought that counts. The audience didn’t mind, it was  just such a lovely finish to the first part of the competition.

At the moment there is no clear favourite, but definitely one bogeyman. The worst thing is, Harvey is totally oblivious to how much he offended the girls. Even some of the men are cringing. How do you tell somebody they were so terribly off the mark? Ah well, it is a competition and he will notice from his rating. This brings me to the next point… Have you rated all the candidates? There is a star system at the bottom of each post.

Devil and Detail called me for a meeting and asked what I thought of the calibre of the candidates. If I read them correctly, they were a little disappointed by the performances and they might have hoped for my confirmation. I reminded them that it was the explicit wish of the Dedes that I should hold back – it is entirely their show –  so I won’t disclose my opinion. I am only there for administrative support.

Next…

The next round starts on Monday and this week our contestants will have to answer questions. Devil asked me to remind the readers that the organisers of the competition would be delighted to receive questions from the audience. So if you want to ask the candidates something, write a comment…. Every comment to a post made during the competition will go into the draw for the Dede puppet book Hermit’s Web or the few friends I need I hand-craft myself, a little hardcover book with pictures and stories of the initial Dede community. The second and third prize are a pack of Dede postcards (10 postcards each).

On a completely different note…

Philosopher took me to the side yesterday for a quiet talk. He is one of those puppets who don’t want to have a bar of the competition, but thinks if others believe it is fun they should go ahead. However, he aired his concern about Deutsch Fraulein (German Girl). You might know he cares a lot about her. He is secretly in love with her (from a distance). He told me Deutsch Fraulein spends a lot of time on German blogs at the moment. Everybody over there writes about Advent and Christmas and he has the feeling she might be a bit home sick. So he asked me – oh no, he begged me – not to forget all those puppets who are not part of the competition and maybe I could do something for them.

I asked what he had in mind. I can’t change the weather… we do have summer over here now and there is no snow. I absolutely hate  fake snow and plastic christmas trees. It only gets dark at half past nine or ten-ish. Or have you ever tried Christmas cookies in summer? I have… they don’t taste that great…they have to be eaten in the dark and the cold! It’s comfort food.

“You are creative” Philosopher said “You will think of something!”

“That is such a cop out!” I answered, but he only smiled at me. He knows I can’t refuse any of his requests. He is too good a friend.