I am staying with the Liar this morning. I read an interesting post about lying on a fellow blogger’s site (Moments Matter). The response I’d started to write got a bit too long, so I decided I pick up the subject on my own blog, particularly as it fits with yesterday’s post.
I personally gave up lying a long time ago, basically because I found lying extremely stressful. Once I realised I couldn’t keep track of who I had told what, I decided to tell it how it is/was. And voila… no more fluster! This is a very bold statement and it is of course only possible with factual lies. For example, if I say I have been to Mexico, but in fact I have never been there. The fact is wrong and ergo it is a lie. (…these lies are so easy to debunk, so why bother!).
This is the kind of lie I mentioned yesterday, when the male editor pretended to be a women. These lies are told to deliberately deceive and in my opinion are despicable.
Everything else that is not a fact, is an opinion.
If I dislike your painting/dress/new boyfriend and you ask me what I really think of it, I can always say it’s not for me, but that is just my opinion. It goes the other way round as well, because, if you don’t lie you have to tell the truth… The big question remains; what is the truth? Most of the time the truth is just an opinion and everybody is entitled to their own. I might not like it, but I would rather hear their truth (opinion) than being told what someone thinks I might like to hear…. Uhhhuuu it’s getting really complicated now!
I have always been a horrible liar. I either keep my mouth shut or say whatever is on my mind. It has caused some major conflicts in my life, but I am not good at telling people what they want to hear. Most of the time I do not even know! I cannot keep track of any false tales I tell either. All my mom had to do was ask me twice and the lie would fold and the truth would come spilling out. Ha ha ha
I would rather hear someone tell me their “truth” it makes life much easier for me. However, it seems others have a hard time speaking their truth (opinions) even when you make it very clear that is what you want to hear. :-)
That is so true. The worst is when someone says “yes” when ask for a favour, but really means “no”. I constantly remind people: yes means yes and a no means no. I can live with either answers.
Hey dedepuppets, thanks for the post! I actually found you through your comment on the Moments Matter post. You’re absolutely right in that sometimes it’s simple to define what a lie is (“I’ve been to Mexico”), the question is sometimes it’s hard to define the truth. The topic of lying / truth got me thinking about an old post of mine about the Honest Entrepreneur, here’s the link in case you’re interested: http://jiksun.com/2010/04/13/the-honest-entrepreneur/
Keep up the great writing!
I’ve read your post and I agree with you. In business you don’t have to volunteer information that would be detrimental to you (if nobody asks). However, if clients have the feeling you bend the truth too often, they will walk away. Or not :) as in the end it depends if they benefit from it or not… Oh, oh, your comment opened now another can of worms for me! Thanks :)
Thanks dede, looking forward to your take on the new can of worms :)
It will take a while, as you hit the target. I am thinking a lot about ethical business decisions.