Archives for posts with tag: relationships

It is not all honkie dory in the Dede household at the moment. The Dedes and I are not on particularly good speaking terms for the time being. I told them about a blog I came across, written by the German artist Jürgen Küster. He writes his blog together with his Alter Ego art figure Buchalov (there is an English translation at the bottom of each post).

My very first thought (cross my heart!) was: Isn’t that typical, here is a man – all he needs is one (1) figure to discuss all the issues. Then here  I am (female) and I need at least thirty (30)! and still don’t come to a conclusion.

But then there are more differences. Buchalov is very supportive of his artist. As I understand it, he critiques the work of Jürgen in a helpful way. He is more like a mentor. They have deep and meaningful conversations, beneficial to the artist’s progress.

Oh, I wish I could have a deep and meaningful conversation with my lot, but no… intellectual the Dedes  are not! Look at  them, they are all over the place. All they want to have is fun. And when they get into a pickle, it is me who has to bail them out. No support from them at all. They are unruly little creatures. Even worse, whenever I say something, they say “Yes, but…” and then they give me this long spiel about why I can’t be right!

So I got a bit annoyed with them yesterday. I said they should be a bit more considerate. They are living in my house and it would be very kind if they wouldn’t challenge everything I say. Then I pointed to the art books on the shelf and said they should go and study for a bit. They looked at each other and said: “What’s wrong with her today?” and disappeared, leaving the art books behind. Only Philosopher continued his nap on the sofa unfazed.

“I will sell you all and only keep one!” I called after them.

“No you won’t” a voice from the sofa replied

When I came home from sports last night, I crashed on the sofa. Of course not without moving Lou first, who seems to have set up camp permanently on MY favourite spot. It didn’t take him long to come back and hop on my lap. He was quite cuddly…. which is very much out of character for him. Usually he is immersed in his own thoughts and insists on his own space. But yesterday was definitely different.

After a while he asked sort of casually: “So the police are coming tomorrow?” I nodded while I had my eyes on the TV.

“What for?” he inquired

“Ah, you know, they want to find out who wrote the email to cancel the the party”

“What happens to the puppet who wrote the email when they find out?”

“I don’t know” I said, I really didn’t want to answer all these questions. I wanted to watch the news on TV. After all, America has been voting.

“Will the puppet go to jail?” he continued.

“Don’t be silly!” I laughed to disperse his obvious worries and stop his questioning.

“After all the police are involved” he said quietly to validate his previous thought.

“Hang on a minute.” I looked at him seriously but he immediately started scratching flees out of his fur. “Why all these questions? Do you know something?”

He was too busy to answer. I put my hand on his tummy and repeated the question slowly. He looked to the side and said “Maybe.” Which in his lingo means as much as “I know the whole story, but I am not prepared to tell it yet.”

“It was you! Wasn’t it? But why?”

And then he blurted it all out. On the day of the party, he had his cereal in the the kitchen. Mouse talked to Philosopher in the living room. Needless to say they weren’t aware that he was there and the door was ajar. So, Mouse asked Philosopher to take Lou away for the night, as Skeleton wanted to come to the party but was still traumatised by the shopping incident in June. Philosopher said something to the tune of it might be helpful for the healing process if Lou and Skeleton meet on neutral ground, but Mouse didn’t want to have a bar of it. She insisted! In the end, she said she is going to ring a charter boat company right now – knowing how much Philosopher loves the sea – and charter a boat for the two of them. After all, it was her responsibility to organise a great party and if she agrees to organise, she does it thoroughly. Lou has to go! She doesn’t want to have any trouble makers in the house.

Of course Lou was taken aback. He wouldn’t call himself a trouble maker (but who would?). In fact he had been looking forward to the evening and really wanted to catch up with Skeleton in particular. It was apparent that  Mouse had made up her mind and this wasn’t going to happen.

She shouldn’t have left her laptop logged-on in the kitchen. Lou just thought: If I can’t have a party, nobody will have one – and did the deed.

“What now?” He asked timidly when he had finished the story.

I had to get up at 6:30 this morning to run an errand. Not my time really, I can tell you. I am one of those nocturnal sorts. But it was a gorgeous morning… beautiful sunshine. Secretly I have to admit, once I am up I do like the feeling of the world waking up around me.

My errand took and hour and I thought nobody had noticed me going, but when I returned, Devil was sitting right next to the door waiting for me. I was surprised to see him, as he hadn’t shown up at the party. “C’mon,” he said in his sweetest voice, “this is the perfect day for an outing. You still have a little bit of time before you need to go to work so lets skip down to the boat ramp.” I didn’t dare say no after my experience last week. There was absolutely no excuse, except that I didn’t feel like it. So I had to give in.

Skipping he did indeed… all the way down to the ramp. He ran, and stopped waited for me and constantly hurried me along. I even thought I glimpsed a little smile on the way there. But boy, was he disappointed when we arrived at the ramp. It was the totally wrong time for a visit. The landing lay in the shade, the tide was out, the water limp and uneventful. He could hardly hide his disappointment. I couldn’t resist taking another pic. Between you and me,  I will keep this one in my wallet. It will be a good reminder for him when he is overdoing it again some time in future. “…Remember Devil, when you didn’t speak to me for a week?”

At least he will keep mum about it now. Give him a couple of days and we will be best mates again.

I have to recap what was on my mind all last week. One of my puppets (I don’t want to name him) has accused me of being prejudiced towards devils and he made noises about suing me for an obscene amount of money, which of course I don’t have. But that is besides the point. I have been thinking about it a lot this week: Am I really prejudiced? Who knows, but certainly not against devils. Honestly, I have spent hours and hours listening to him when he was depressed, because  nobody seems to like him. He is not the easiest puppet to deal with. And yes, I had promised him an outing to the boat ramp and had to cancel, but for a very good reason: It was raining cats and dogs and he wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes in this weather.

It annoys me tremendously that he now turns around and just gives me the blanket label of being “prejudiced”, only because he couldn’t get his way. How can one debunk this label? It is such a trap… And I stepped right into it. It is one of those labels that is thrown into the ring when puppets run out of arguments. Nobody wants to be prejudiced, but how can you prove you aren’t?

My accuser has made himself scarce, but I know he is around. I can smell sulphide. The curtains in the living room smell particularly bad, they will have to go in the wash soon. Anyway, I wonder if he is man enough to show his face at the party tonight and I am curious how it goes.

For now I am pleased to have it off my chest…  What do you think?

I am going with Witch‘s recommendation and will invite all the Dede puppets for a social get together on Sunday. It comes in handy that it is a long weekend, so I should have no problems recovering before I have to go back to work on Tuesday.

But it is short notice indeed and I am not one to get organised in a hurry. I need my time, so I enlisted Mouse to help me. Honestly, if you ever have an event to publicise, Mouse is your puppet! She knows everybody and always finds something to talk about. She still believes strongly in face-to-face contact to keep friendships going. I think she should turn her skills into a business, but she lacks the necessary self-esteem to go out there and market herself.

I am very happy and grateful that she took over the job of inviting everybody. When I got up this morning, she was already sitting in the kitchen, pounding away on the computer. This is her only weakness: Writing emails takes a long time as she is a one-thumb-typist, but you should see her speed when she is texting….

Of course it would be even faster if the Dede puppets were on Facebook. They are resisting. They are very happy in their own little secret society.

I went around to Witch‘s place last night. She is a brilliant mediator and I needed to confide in someone. Sometimes it is just good to talk to someone and the problems diminish. First of all she put me right. She said it is not always about me! Devil’s Advocate and Fairy Godmother are having an affair and of course Devil’s Advocate doesn’t want anybody to know because he is still married. So, their strange behaviour yesterday had absolutely nothing to do with me and they certainly were not talking about my case with Devil.

I discussed whether a puppet meeting at this stage would be a good idea, as Arindam suggested yesterday after I had posted the latest incident. Witch loves meetings and she says they are always good, but she had an even better idea. She said I should just invite everybody to a party at my house on Saturday. This could defuse the situation, no doubt. And it wouldn’t have an official feel to it.

Then she offered to look in her crystal ball for me to see how it all pans out in the end (of course for a  fee – she is not cheap, good old Witch). I shouldn’t have gone for it. Her best crystal ball is in the repair shop at the moment so she had to use her old one. That ball is so unreliable. She couldn’t see anything about me or Devil. All she could see was that Santa Clause will have an accident this year. This wasn’t helpful at all. Unfortunately I had already paid her, she collects her fees in advance and never refunds! It’s common practice, she says.

If I let the kids know that there won’t be any presents this year I will be in even more trouble. Sometimes it is better to keep your knowledge to yourself.

I had planned to write a post about being boring, but one of the bloggers who I follow, Rose, beat me to it. She had a really nice angle and I love her refreshing style of writing (butIamBeautiful). In her last two paragraphs she pretty much covered what I wanted to say :).

The label “boring” is a third party attribute: Not many people think about themselves as being seriously boring. One might get bored from time to time, but  being boring?…. This is a totally different kettle of fish. On the other hand there is a huge discrepancy in numbers when one looks at how many people are described as being boring by others.

Isn’t it just a matter of having a little or nothing in common? Would it be possible, with a little effort to turn a bore into an inspiring fountain of knowledge?

Last night I went to an exhibition opening of my students. I was impressed. This is one of the things I enjoy most about teaching, seeing individuals developing in their art. They are by no means all young kids. In photography we have a lot of mature students. Unfortunately I have the ungrateful task of teaching digital imaging. Generally, the younger ones just do it, the older ones say “I hate it, I hate it, I hate it”… but at one stage (and I can usually wait for it) they come up to me with a big wide smile all over their face and say something like “I am proud of myself, I have done so much on the computer”. The best of course is when they say “I love digital now!” I can’t take the credit for this, though. It doesn’t have much to do with my teaching, but with them gaining confidence in an area they never would have thought they could excel in. Good on you!

After the event I was hurled towards the opposite end of human emotions. I bumped into a friend, a very talented musician, who is currently drifting down the path towards middle age. I love him to bits. He really has something going for him, but he doesn’t know yet what, and he is increasingly running out of patience. He told me, and I repeat verbatim: “I don’t like what the world has on offer at the moment.”

Oh dear! What a puppet moment!

I had lunch today with a very dear friend of mine, who incidentally also reads my blog. She commented on me slipping into the deep and meaningful at the moment. Ah well, I am still on the search where the puppets came from. But I guess I have to ease up a little. My post yesterday didn’t go down too well :).  This morning I was thinking of writing about what I call “emotional cross-dressers”, but I give it a miss. I have to think about the subject for a little longer anyway.

A few years back I attended a training course for a volunteer organisation. One could describe the course as psychology for lay people. Most of it was common sense. But there was this one diagram describing the basic mental attitudes, which I found very good. I re-drew it this morning; something I wanted to do for some time. Yep, I know representatives of each and every one of those four catagories.

Personally, I am oscillating between the two left images (as I guess most women do!) When I am in the top left, everything is honky dory. I strongly believe in win-win situations and I work hard to achieve them. When I am in the bottom left, my soul mate comes in very handy :). Thank you!

Problems arise, when I come across someone who has the mental attitude of the top right quadrant. Often I simply walk away, but I can also turn into a lioness, particularly if  a third party is involved. Lioness mode, believe me, is not a pretty picture and it is very exhausting, so I try to avoid it… Unfortunately I am not always successful.