Archives for posts with tag: personalities

top dog scare rain

The plan worked perfectly! Mouse and Devil had to use a tiny trick though. It was important to let Top Dog believe it was his idea to take part in the competition. So they pretended to talk in private about who should represent the Dedes in the Scarecrow competition. You may know, Top Dog is blessed with unbelievably good hearing, far better than any other Dede. (Sometimes they even wonder if he doesn’t have secret listening devices scattered around the place.) As soon as he hears an interesting conversation he pops by and participates, no, takes over. Needless to say, he immediately decided that he is the one and only perfect candidate to become a scarecrow. Mouse and Devil ummed and arred for a little while and finally said they would have to confer with the others and would get back to him. They just went around the corner to the art cup board and watched from afar how Top Dog immediately rummaged through the old rags in the laundry to find himself something to wear. Then he went out to the garden and found a nice position to practise his scarecrow skills, right next to a lovely green pepper for company.

It didn’t take long before it started to rain. Oops. All of a sudden he looked pretty scared.

top dog scare

This is no good. It is more than a month since I have written on my blog. Honestly, the Artist’s survival cookbook is progressing. Not fast, but it is moving forward. It is currently at the design stage. The Dedes had millions of boring meetings to figure out how they should publish it.  You know, those kind of meetings where the discussion goes round and round in circles. Then the meeting is declared over without a tenable outcome and a new meeting has to be called another time. And very quickly a week, then a month, passes by.

You might find it hard to believe, but the Dedes are usually good decision makers. Even though they banter a lot, they know each other’s strength and weaknesses and trust the next Dede implicitly. But then there is Top Dog. Top Dog entered the scene sometime last year and never fitted in. He is adamant he is the best, knows everything better and is not interested in anybody’s opinion unless it coincides with his own. He loves to manage but not in a co-operative kind of way, more like a despot. In short, he wants to run the show and is not interested in what others with arguably more expererience can contribute – unless he directs them to do so. The Dedes quickly figured out his cocksure behaviour was to cover up his own inadequacies. They avoided saying anything that could be construed as disagreement.  When he has the feeling he is being criticised he gets extremely aggressive and loses the plot. Ultimately, the Dedes keep to themselves as they don’t like unnecessary arguments, so they let him do his own thing and he could feel important in front of the mirror. It’s by no means the first time they have had to deal with a difficult compatriot. Though usually the difficult ones come round once they realise the Dedes are a knowledgeable and peaceful bunch who work towards building a comfortable,  non-threatening environment.  Top Dog, however, hasn’t settled. Instead he constantly complains about how he isn’t respected enough. Well, as Philosopher always says: “Respect can’t be demanded, it has to be earned.”

There is a point when even the most patient Dedes has to say “enough is enough”. So, the other day the core team of Dedes, Mouse, Devil and Witch, along with a handful of others got together to discuss what on earth they could do. They realised the presence of Top Dog undermines their work. Their plans have slowed to a near stand – still and the only way to get back on track is if he goes. As it happens, tomorrow is the Scarecrow in the Garden competition here in Beach Haven and Mouse, the keen gardener, suggested to nominate Top Dog to become their representative in the competition. That will make him feel very important, but of course, as it will rain on and off tomorrow, the weather will see to his demise very quickly.

quiche mouse

Evan G List, the vegan Dede, complained to Cash Cow that most of the recipes have dairy products in them. It’s either butter, milk or both. He doesn’t eat that stuff. Cash Cow said she was raised on it and she wouldn’t like to miss it, though she herself is vegetarian. Then Mouse came along carrying a plate and said that while she doesn’t eat much she does eat everything. That is just her nature. Evan G looked at her in disgust. Mouse explained she comes from a long line of church mice. Her family was so poor they had to eat what they could find. She still appreciates food and is grateful for what she gets. “It’s lucky if you have a choice” she added. “But but you know, if you don’t want to eat dairy, you can make a short pastry with oil instead of butter. I’ve just tried it and here is the result.” She pointed at a slice of quiche on her plate.

It did look delicious. “What’s on it?” Evan G asked suspiciously.

“Left overs from last night’s dinner again. We had mashed potatoes with garden vegetables. But there wasn’t enough left over, so I put sliced tomato on top of the left overs, added two eggs and sprinkled grated cheese over it.”

“Here we go again” said Evan G. “There is cheese and egg on it. No, not for me, thank you.”

“I mean, the base is vegan” said Mouse. “You can choose your own topping. Whatever you like to eat.”

Ingredients

1 cup of flour, 1/4 cup of oil, 1/2 teaspoon of salt (optional), cold water.

1 tart baking tray. The dough is enough for a 12cm x 35cm rectangular tray.

Method

Preheat the oven to 200oC

Place the flour on a flat surface, mix in the salt if you use salt. Pour in oil little by little and work into the flour with your fingertips. It will look like fine semolina when you are done. Add a little cold water and knead. Add only as much water needed to make the dough stick together nicely. Let it rest in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Note: Mouse made the dough after breakfast and left it in the fridge till lunch time. An oil-based dough doesn’t go as hard as one made with butter when it is left longer in the fridge.

Roll out the dough and place on the tart baking tray. Press the dough up the sides to get a bit of a lip at the edge. This prevents the filling from seeping out. Add your choice of filling.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes.

 

pavlova scale2

Today is a public holiday in New Zealand. Waitangi Day. The day when, in 1840, the treaty between indigenous Maori and a representative of the crown was signed, putting the land under the protectorate of the English. Pavlova thought it was a good idea to celebrate the day with a cake and mentioned it to Mouse. Of course Mouse immediatly thought Pavlova would want to make the cake after which she is named. “Pavolva doesn’t fit into the flour and water concept at all” she said, perhaps a little too snobbishly.

“Just don’t assume” Pavlova, who is a scientist, camly said. “I am very well aware that pavlova is made of eggwhite and sugar. No, I want to make a sponge log.” Mouse felt a little bad and didn’t ask any further questions. She just held her hand out for the recipe. After she read through it, she said, “You know, we use cups as measurements, you use grams. That will confuse our readers!”

Pavlova threw her head back and said huffly, “I am a scientist, I don’t work with cups.”

Mouse didn’t want to push it and thought she might change the recipe when she edits it later. Instead she said to Pavlova, “There is no fat in it. That’s a good one for all the fat-phobic people.”

“Sugar is as bad as fat” commented Pavlova “and anyway, you have to fill the log. The easiest way is to whip up some cream and add fresh fruit. My favourite is a custard filling, I use Daredevil’s recipe. You could also just spread jam on it if you have nothing else on hand.”

Ingredients

3 eggs, 5 Tablespoons of water, 150g sugar, 100g wheat flour, 50g corn flour, 1 teaspoon of baking powder.

Baking paper, clean tea towel.

Method

Preheat the oven to 2200C. Put baking paper on a tray.

In a big bowl mix water and eggs and beat it with an electric beater on the fastest speed for a minute. It will become foamy. Then very slowly pour in sugar while continuing to beat. In this process the egg mixture starts to thicken. Once all the sugar added continue beating for another 2 minutes.

Mix the two flours and the baking powder and sieve half of the flour mixture onto the egg mixture. Without stirring too much, fold into the egg mixture (this can be done with the electric beater on the slowest speed, or with a spoon). Continue with the rest of the flour in the same way.

Pour the batter onto the baking paper that’s on the tray and put in the oven for 12 minutes.

When it comes out of the oven, place the sponge cake on a clean tea towel and roll the tea towel and cake up. Let it cool. Once it is cool, carefully unroll, remove the tea towel and spread the filling of your choice on sponge cake and roll it up again.

 

high five

The Dedes were busy with their last Christmas preparations all day yesterday and were hardly home. You would not believe what Top Dog and Empress in Waiting did while they had the house to themselves. I’ll have to start from the beginning. Their new plan for the living arrangements is that they themselves will occupy the top shelf, the next level down will be for all the existing Lil’Dedes and shelf underneath will be reserved for new Lil’Dedes that are yet to be created. All the Dedes will move to the bottom shelf, which gives them the option to also use the floorspace in front of the shelf if need be. At least this is what Empress in Waiting had proposed to King in her email. King didn’t think much of the plan and said “No”. After all, the Dedes are much bigger than the Lil’Dedes and there are 60 or so of them but only 24 Lil’Dedes. Empress in Waitings reasoning was that the Dedes are not money earners. They only act in movies and are shown off in galleries, while the Lil’ ones will be sold, so they need to be visible. She overlooked that the art cupboard is not public and nothing in there will be visible to anybody but myself. And so emails were flying to and fro until King finally got tired and shouted a firm ” I’ve made my decision! No more discussions!” across the room.

But for Empress in Waiting a problem is not resolved unless she gets her way. So the King’s decision was not acceptable at all. First she sat in a corner and moped, pondering what else she could do. Sly Top Dog, who is always on the look out for someone to help in return for future favours, shook his head and said “What’s the problem? It’s Christmas, they’re all busy. We’ll just do what we want and once it is all done, they won’t make us move back! That’s far too much work”. As he is a hard worker he rolled up his sleeves and started immediately. Surprisingly Empress in Waiting, who is a bit precious and not too keen on physical work at all, chipped in and shuffled a few things around as well. It took them pretty much all day to re-organise the art cupboard and when the Dedes came back from the shops the move was complete. All they could do was stand there, jaws dropped to the ground, and watch Top Dog and Empress in Waiting giving each other high fives on the top shelf.

carol singing

If you have read my blog lately, you know that there is a bit of a rift in the Dede world. The whole thing started when Top Dog arrived a few months back and it’s definitely caused by his nature. Like any top dog he wants to be the unquestioned leader. He’ll do anything to get there and doesn’t even shy away from underhanded measures. Some of the Lil’Dedes are growing increasingly wary and they feel more connected to the Dedes rather than the other Lil’Dedes. They’d prefer not to be forced into moving onto the top shelf and would rather like to mix with their Dede colleagues. Is it really so surprising that Lil’Artist dreams of setting up his easel in L’Artiste’s studio? He admires L’Artiste so much and believes he could learn heaps by just breathing the same air. Lil’Elephant would like to become a ballerina just like Push Push, the Dede elephant lady. Who would be a better teacher than someone who has overcome the same obstacles?

So a group of Lil’Dedes took it upon themselves to organise a carol singing evening, a nice little event in the spirit of the season. It was a spur of the moment decision, as the tension in the art cupboard becomes increasingly difficult to cope with. You could immediately see that the three of them went to a lot of trouble. They had constructed a gorgeous Christmas tree, complete with a star on top and presents around the base. Then they got a snow white table cloth out of the linen cupboard, stood up, and sang their little hearts out. It didn’t really matter that their singing was rather bad, because sadly no-one showed up. No Dedes and no lil’Dedes either.

“Ah well”, said Lil’Clown disillusioned after they had sang their repertoire for the fifth time. “The Dedes really don’t like us! Top Dog is right, they think they are better than us.”

I was pretty angry with the Dede’s behaviour. Even if they don’t believe in Christmas, it couldn’t have hurt to show up and show some community spirit. Turns out they didn’t know it was on. When Lil’Clown wanted to send out the invitation email, Empress in Waiting was hogging the computer writing important emails to King on behalf of Top Dog. Lil’Clown couldn’t wait any longer. He still had other preparations to do so he asked Empress in Waiting to send the invitiation once she was done with her stuff. She simply forgot. Yeah, right!

 

 

market day

Today was the day we were waiting for. Market Day. Over the last few weeks I’ve made a number of Lil’Dedes to sell. I should have left Devil behind and taken Fairy Godmother instead. She might have had the power to swing the weather. Unfortunately, half an hour into the event, it started raining and the punters were few and far between. No, definitely not Market Day weather. The upshot was, all the Lil’Dedes had to come back home with me and now we have a real problem. They need a place to live. You might think they are little and that should be easy. At least that is what I reckoned and I left them to it to sort it out. It’s not that simple, though. Since Top Dog arrived everything has turned into a competitive power game. Whenever the Dedes make a decision he throws a spanner in the works. Quietly, he has groomed the Lil’Dedes to become his disciples. As the Lil’Dedes were even newer than Top Dog, he had an easy time convincing them he should be their ring leader.

As soon as a new character was finished, Top Dog had a lengthy conversation with them. After this introduction they voluntarily separated themselves from the Dedes and didn’t even try to make friends. They all went into the space on the top shelf that Top Dog had created for them after he moved Mouse’s stuff. Even though every single Dede had told Top Dog that the top shelf has always been reserved for Mouse, he just ignored them and send all his new followers up there. The Dedes watched, but let it go for the time being, as they were convinced a few of the Lil’Dedes would be shifted and not come back today. They thought once they knew how many will stay, they could sit together and discuss re-organising the available space. The Dedes are keen on being one big happy family, large and small together.

When we got back from the market, Devil called an emergency meeting as he knew the available space is a squeeze. He wants the space situation sorted out swiftly, and once and for all. It’s no secret he wants Mouse to have her top shelf back for obvious reasons, but she might have to share it with L’Artiste or some other Dedes. Top Dog didn’t feel too well today and therefore excused himself from the meeting, but he send his new minion, Empress in Waiting. What a waste of time. She just sat there teetering on the edge of her seat, smiling and not saying much. Finally, at the end, she did say it was all good. Devil, though, was surprised there wasn’t much discussion. He took Empress in Waiting’s word for it and went straight to Mouse and assured her she will have her space back in no time.

Empress in Waiting, meanwhile, went back to her lot. Nobody knows what was said, but it didn’t take her long to write an email to King, who she believes will make the final decision, demanding that the Lil’Dedes not only get the top shelf but also the second and third shelf. Mouse and all the other Dedes can have the bottom shelf. Her reasoning was that there will be more Lil’Dedes in the near future and she wants to make sure there is enough space for all of them should the time come.

The King, wisely enough, asked Devil what happend. He was speechless.

mouse and top dog

Top Dog has been with the Dedes for a while now. Everybody was hoping Philosopher was right and Top Dog’s bark was mainly due to insecurities. Naturally the Dedes tried very hard ease possible anxieties and make Top Dog feel welcome. But the nicer the Dedes were the more demanding Top Dog became. “Easy game” he obviously thought, and started to re-organise the art cupboard. Not that he didn’t inform the others about what he was doing. No, a fait accompli, he proudly told each of them what he had done, expecting praise for his initiative. It’s not that he didn’t have any good ideas. Some of them certainly were improvements, but unfortunately most of what he did stuffed up the workflow of the others and made them feel uncomfortable.  For example, one day he moved all Mouse’s writing implements from the top left shelf to the bottom right shelf. While he was dusting off his robe and rubbing his hands after the job was finished, he even remarked to Professor; “How can a little mouse be so silly and put her tools on the top shelf?”   Professor didn’t know what to say. Like every Dede he knew all too well that Mouse had placed her stuff on the top shelf as she loves climbing and needs the excercise to keep fit. She is so busy she simply doens’t have the time to go to the gym, so she cunningly builds her precious excercises into her daily routine.

Then, when Mouse ran in to quickly grab her notepad before the next meeting… it wasn’t there!  No other Dede was around and it took her twenty minutes to find what she was looking for, making her late for her appointment. She was supposed to catch up with Dee for her weekly garden instructions. We all know Dee is a very busy garden guru and she had to leave before Mouse arrived at the vege patch. It was then  she had a hissy fit. Top Dog was just strolling through the garden sniffing at the young plants wondering which ones he should pee on to fertilise.

“Stay away from my stuff!” Mouse snapped at him. He looked at her and said: “Only trying to be helpful!” pulled his tail in and walked away. Mouse felt better for it. She is not one to snap easily, but it felt good to have made a stand. Top Dog went straight to his kennel and got his black book out from under the pillow to write down how horrible Mouse had treated him.

 

top dog first

I actually didn’t want to write about the new Dede on the blog: Top Dog. It’s not worth it I thought. He will see how the Dede community works and will mellow, but no, Top Dog simply wants to be one thing and that is to be top dog, nothing else. You may know that the Dedes work on mutual respect. They acknowledge that each of them has their little quirks, the world is not black and white and they happily live with it. In the end they always find a way to move forward. It might take a while, but so far it has worked out just fine. Now Top Dog has entered the scene, announcing his arrival with loud incessant barking and not the least bit interested in what others have to say. Within a minute the Dedes knew his heritage, lineage and achievements, his family situation and living arrangements. The Dedes looked at each other and didn’t know what hit them. “This is how we do it from now on” barked Top Dog charging in a direction he obviously deemed to be forward. “There is no other way!”

The Dedes were flabbergasted and speechless.

Witch, who was part of the welcoming committee, turned around to go and continue whatever it was she was doing before Top Dog arrived. “Ah well, if he wants to go there let him go there” she sighed. “I have things to do!”

Chance, who stood next to her, said “I thought people with those attitudes died out  in the nineties together with the bad hair do.” Everybody looked at her.It is totally out of character for her to stoop so low and make disapproving comments about anybody she had just met.

“It might just be fear. It isn’t easy to deal with so many new Dedes at once” consoled Philosopher, who always reminds us of the positive in everybody.

“Oh no” commented Devil. “You are just blessed that you are not in the workforce… they are still around and they are very bad news.”

“What shall we do?” asked L’Artiste a little distressed. He needs everybody to be a happy family to be creative and work well.

“Wait and see” remarked Bad Conscience who was lingering in a dark corner and looking very bored. “It will sort itself out one way or another. Or if it doesn’t I will move in with him!”

crossmess Party

The Dedes haven’t had much to laugh about this year so they decided recently they need to have a fun Christmas Party. Not like last year when we quietly forgot about Christmas. They still are talking about the year before, when my friend Rae and I took them to North Head for a picnic . I am surprised they talk so fondly about this event, as half of them got drunk and in my opinion they shouldn’t remember anything but their headache the next day. You can imagine how wary I was when they said they don’t mind if I can’t take them anywhere this year, and they would be happy if I gave them the key to the liquor cabinet one night when I was going out. Ah well, as I have neglected the Dedes a little this year I agreed and even replenished the stock before I left.

What a mistake!

Okay, Pig and Professor get always sloshed when there are drinks to be had. No surprises there – but the rest of them?! It obviously got totally out of hand. Well, some of the Dedes were wise enough not to show up at all. After all, it doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out what will happen when there is plenty of booze for free. Bad Conscience, always on the lookout for easy victims, was rubbing his hands in anticipation of the aftermath. He had a field day! Plenty of victims to choose from. Witch, who is a teetotaller, was well-intentioned and went to keep an eye on things and also to rain on Bad Conscience’s parade. By the time she arrived things were already getting out of hand and she retreated early into the art cupboard as nothing could be done to avoid disaster. Philosopher, who is interested in how the Dedes tick had a quiet beer in the corner and watched the bash in amazement. He told me later, the new Dede, Top Dog (I haven’t talked about him yet) made a real nuisance of himself. He made unmistakable advances towards Lou, the young puppy. Lou didn’t know how to fend him off and in the end went and hid. “Ah well, you know how it is, Christmas parties, eh” Philosopher finished his account, shrugging his shoulders. Everyone else also seemed to think it was just a bit of drunken fun. I was gobsmacked as what I was hearing bordered on sexual harrassment. It should not be taken lightly, not even under the cloud of alcohol.

Today Witch came to me and complained bitterly. “I don’t understand” she said, “the others get plastered and make fools of themselves, but they vent anger at Philosopher and me! They blame us for not having fun at their silly party!”

“They are only angry with you because you can tell the story,” I consoled her, but she was still shaking her head in disbelieve.