All four of them have apologised… and now that I am finished washing the egg off the front porch, I have to say they are quite cute. I can’t be angry with them for long. But with these masks they are definitely not allowed to go trick-or-treating tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if the Dedes think I have no feelings… They really made me cry this morning. But let me start at the beginning.
Last night we had a discussion about Halloween. A few of them wanted to go trick-or-treating. As I am European I am not used to this custom and I immediately said: “This is for kids, you are supposed to be grown-ups!”
Someone (it might have been L’Artiste) replied, “but we are small and when we wear masks nobody will notice. We will just take you along as adult supervision.”
“I am not letting the Dedes go around the neighbourhood extorting lollies from the good people. – And I certainly won’t take part in it! That is a sound No. Do you read me?” I was surprised they bought it so quickly. The reply to my no’s are usually …but, but, but… Not this time. They shrugged their shoulders as if they wanted to say “We didn’t expect anything else from you” and disappeared swiftly whispering to each other.
What a big fright I got this morning when I was about to fetch the newspaper… Totally oblivious and still half asleep, I opened the door and there they were… sitting on my doorstep. They were all prepared with the good organic eggs from my fridge and a big bag… and worse, they all wore angry looking masks of a suspiciously familiar looking face. “Trick or treat” they shouted, but I had no chance to answer or even close the door quickly… the first egg landed fair and square on my knee …and it almost broke. Thank goodness they are no good at throwing anything.
Philosopher and I sat together for a long time last night. He is the most non-judgemental puppet I know. Of course I filled him in about what had happened last week while we drank a bottle of wine and devoured the chocolate fish they had brought home.
As a consequence Bad Conscience came to visit me this morning. At 5:23 am! He told me off and pointed out that the scale moves scarily to the right and I am getting older too. If I don’t want to have a body with niggles here, there and everywhere I should live more healthily. Would you believe this at 5:23 am in the morning? Did he have to tell me then? I asked him if this could wait until the sun was up. What does the sneaky puppet say to me? “I find you more perceptive at this hour of the night!”
“But I will have forgotten by sunrise”
“I will just keep coming back until you get it” he said. And I know he meant it. He is very persistent.
Philosopher and Lou returned from their boating trip today. I haven’t seen either of them so cheerful and chatty for a very long time. Lou couldn’t stop telling us how wonderful their trip was and they proudly produced their early morning catch from the last day. I’ve never seen Lou so animated. When he was telling us all the gory details of how they wrangled the great fish from the sea, all the dede puppets listened their mouths wide open. But somehow their story seemed a bit fishy to me, even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I took Philosopher to the side, looked him in the eye and asked him if this was all true. I know Philosopher can’t tell porkies and he readily told me me what really happened:
They left last Sunday. Mouse had organised the charter boat for them. After they stocked up on supplies for the week from the supermarket, they went down to the marina to pick up the boat. Philosopher was asked to show his paperwork as proof that he can handle a boat. Unfortunately Philosopher doesn’t believe in paperwork, certificates and the like, so he doesn’t have any. “She’ll be right” is his general attitude in life. Usually he manages to convince people of his abilities and knowledge without a problem. Not this time… These people were insisting he showed them the correct papers, as if they were the border police. There was no way they would entrust him with their boat without the right stamp. So in the end Philosopher had to give up.
Now they were in a pickle… Mouse had made it very clear to Philosopher, Lou had to be out of the house when the party was on. He believes it had something to do with Skeleton coming to the party on her own. (Skeleton is the object of Lou’s desire. It’s all very complicated and I don’t want to go into detail right here. But I can assure you, it is all very awkward). So Philosopher convinced Lou that roughing it under a bridge for a week is almost as exciting as going away on the boat. They went to the park to find themselves a nice place under a bridge and stayed there for the week. And they really had a wonderful time. Lou made friends with other puppies running around in the park, chasing balls as young puppies do. In the end he didn’t want to come home today. But Philosopher came up with their tall story and they had a bet going about whether anybody would notice it was all fibs. Of course Lou then couldn’t wait to get home and see who would win the bet about the tale of their week.
When green asparagus appears in the shops, and shortly after when the deliciously red and sweet strawberries follow, then Winter is well and truly over! To celebrate the fresh arrivals, and as a small token of appreciation for all her work, I invited Mouse to the first strawberry breakfast of the season today.
She arrived with her little clipboard under her arm. I was a bit taken aback. It is Saturday and the clipboard reeked suspiciously of work. “There are only two items I want to quickly go over with you” she said apologetically, while I dished her up the biggest fruit I could find.
I had a quick glance and in her scrawly handwriting it said:
Pretty small list. I wondered what she needed the clipboard for. She should have been able to memorize these two items. I guess she wanted to feel important.
With all the goings-on in the last week I have totally forgotten to tell you that Mouse managed to send Lou and Philosopher on the long-planned fishing trip. We first hatched this plan way back at Philosopher‘s birthday in June. Lou was so in love with Skeleton Edeltraut then and I hoped Philosopher would be able to talk some sense into the puppy. But the weather was inclement throughout winter. Philosopher’s boat wouldn’t have been able to handle it and so it just didn’t happen. I was surprised, indeed, more than surprised, when they hastily departed last Sunday morning. Turns out Mouse had chartered a boat without telling anyone and then just said: “Well that is it: you two go now. Otherwise it will never happen” And they toddled off. Lou, the still love-sick puppy, went very reluctantly. Philosopher was out the door in a flash (not really a flash, but faster than his usually laid back speed – He loves the sea.) Problem is, Mouse hasn’t thought about who is going to pay for the charter boat.
I have to think about this one. I wish they wouldn’t do this to me. I am not a cash-cow. Oh, I feel a new puppet coming on. Yes, Cash-Cow would be a great flatmate for me.
Mouse asked me who I thought wrote the email telling everybody the party last Sunday was cancelled. She is very, veeeery upset that one of our friends would do such a thing. I looked at her and said: “This is a no-brainer, isn’t it? Of course it must have been Devil?”
“No, it actually wasn’t!” she rebuked
“What makes you think that?”
“He told me so! He was a victim here. He missed out on the party because of the email”
Everybody knows Mouse is a sucker for tall stories, and we often have her on. She believes everything and everybody. “C’mon, he is a devil after all. Do you believe him?”
“There we have it – you are clearly prejudiced towards devils. Just because he is a devil doesn’t make him a liar, does it? And yes, I believe him. He is my friend!”
“Oh no, not you too” I exclaimed resignedly “So who was it then?”
“I don’t know. But Devil told me he got the email and thought: Yes, rain is a good enough reason for her to cancel a party. After all, you cancelled the outing to the boat ramp because of rain!”
“Yes, but the party was in the house! Devil can’t be that thick!”
“That is besides the point. Someone has written an email to sabotage my hard work. I have worked my little heart out to pull off something really nice and on extremely short notice to boot. To be honest, I am terribly pissed off! So what are you going to do about it?”
Mouse jumped up. I have never seen her so agitated.
“I have to think about it. I don’t know who dunnit! I am at the end of my wits too if it wasn’t Devil!”
“I will leave it with you. And I want to see action, otherwise it was the last party I organised for you!” she said, and left without thanking me for the big juicy strawberry.
Sunny has the most amazing smile. He is footloose and fancy free, but there is one thing I can bet on: A few days after a party Sunny will show up. When all the tidying up is done, all the left-overs are in the freezer and the place looks spick and span. It’s time to relax on the deck with a G&T. And then here comes Sunny, on the prowl for a frozen doggy bag to take home as a cheap meal. Usually his mum cooks for him, but if he can score a good frozen meal somewhere he is quite happy to give her a day off and treat himself to something different.
“Not many puppets around last Sunday, were there?” was his opening line. “Didn’t you get the email?” I asked and watched his reaction. “I don’t read emails!” He shrugged his shoulders. “Do you write any?” I inquired further, as all of a sudden I thought he might have uninvited the others to score a bigger doggy bag. “It wasn’t me, if that’s what you mean”. This is so typical of Sunny. He doesn’t even know what I am talking about, but he is sure it wasn’t him. And yes, most of the time it is true, as he doesn’t do much at all.
Then he told me he had hoped I would finally introduce him to my dearest friend Chance. If he had asked me before, I could have told him Chance wouldn’t be there, as she is currently out of town on a marketing assignment together with Foxy Lady and Clown.
“The crowd was pretty boring, don’t you think? Isn’t it always the same?… These puppets are so predictable… Professor and Pig get plastered… and this pompous git Ducky! Give me a break”. He was thinking out loud.
“Stop right there” I intervened. “You are talking about my friends!” And you are not the most exciting puppet either, I thought to myself, but stopped short of saying it.
He sat down next to me: “Any chance of getting a G&T around here?”
“
The party was a bit of a fizzer in terms of attendance. I feel sorry for Mouse and Push Push. After all the preparations only a few puppets showed their faces. Later Professor told me he had received an email letting everybody know the party was cancelled due to rain. The email looked authentic. He decided to drop by anyway as I certainly would have stocked up on wine and it would be a pity to waste it.
I have my suspicions who sent the email, but I will keep them to myself. He wouldn’t stoop that low would he? He wouldn’t try to ruin Mouse’s efforts. He hurt her more than he hurt me, as she has done all the hard work. I only paid for the wine and the food. If I ever find out that it was him…
In the end there were only a handful of us. We still had a great time. We always do. Nobody raised my issue with Devil. They all have their own problems. Why should they be interested in our little tiff? They all wanted to forget their sorrows and to party, not to burden themselves with yet another problem.
Usually I am not much of a party animal. I prefer one-on-one conversations with my friends. I usually don’t remember much detail about the party, what I have talked about (certainly nothing deep and meaningful) and who was there… All I can remember is the general feeling whether I enjoyed myself or not. And I certainly did enjoy myself last night.
Looking at my illustrious friends I had around last night… I am sure I can call myself open-minded.
I took a couple of photographs as proof we had a good time. The one I have chosen for today’s post shows Professor and his mate Pig in the foreground on the left. Pig is just happy he had enough booze and Professor is on the brink of slipping into the melancholic phase. In the back Sunny the aspiring artist is talking to L’Artiste Dede the accomplished artist. L’Artiste Dede is not particularly interested in what Sunny has to say. If you know Sunny, you know his story as well. He is a good guy but very repetitive. He just can’t get his break. As L’Artiste has advised him many times, less talk and more doing wouldn’t go amiss. Skeleton (to the right of L’Artiste Dede) feels she is missing out on something and I have my suspicions she is hard of hearing, but she just wouldn’t make an appointment with the hearing doctor. And the one on the far-right is Ducky. He is a politician and stands for election in the Dede Society. He has tried a few times unsuccessfully, but he doesn’t give up hope and in the meantime he just makes everything his business. He has an opinion about everyone and everything.
I just noticed, this is so typical, all the boys were hanging out together and most of the girls (Witch, Mouse and Push Push) were in the kitchen. How stereotypical is that?
I have to recap what was on my mind all last week. One of my puppets (I don’t want to name him) has accused me of being prejudiced towards devils and he made noises about suing me for an obscene amount of money, which of course I don’t have. But that is besides the point. I have been thinking about it a lot this week: Am I really prejudiced? Who knows, but certainly not against devils. Honestly, I have spent hours and hours listening to him when he was depressed, because nobody seems to like him. He is not the easiest puppet to deal with. And yes, I had promised him an outing to the boat ramp and had to cancel, but for a very good reason: It was raining cats and dogs and he wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes in this weather.
It annoys me tremendously that he now turns around and just gives me the blanket label of being “prejudiced”, only because he couldn’t get his way. How can one debunk this label? It is such a trap… And I stepped right into it. It is one of those labels that is thrown into the ring when puppets run out of arguments. Nobody wants to be prejudiced, but how can you prove you aren’t?
My accuser has made himself scarce, but I know he is around. I can smell sulphide. The curtains in the living room smell particularly bad, they will have to go in the wash soon. Anyway, I wonder if he is man enough to show his face at the party tonight and I am curious how it goes.
For now I am pleased to have it off my chest… What do you think?
Devil has left his spot on the sofa and is nowhere to be found. He is not one for being known as a gossip, but I have the feeling that all the Dedes know of our little disagreement that just got out of hand. Whenever I see two characters sticking their heads together I can’t help but think they are talking about me and how mean I am to poor Devil. Whatever I do, they all watch me out of the corner of their eyes and shut up, or worse, lower their voices to a whisper as soon as I approach. The situation is becoming increasingly awkward.
I wanted to ask Fairy Godmother for advice, but when I arrived at her place Devil’s Advocate was already there and they looked as if I had interrupted something important, their eyes unmistakenly told me: “Bugger off”. I might try to win Witch as a confidant in this case.
I had planned to write a post about being boring, but one of the bloggers who I follow, Rose, beat me to it. She had a really nice angle and I love her refreshing style of writing (butIamBeautiful). In her last two paragraphs she pretty much covered what I wanted to say :).
The label “boring” is a third party attribute: Not many people think about themselves as being seriously boring. One might get bored from time to time, but being boring?…. This is a totally different kettle of fish. On the other hand there is a huge discrepancy in numbers when one looks at how many people are described as being boring by others.
Isn’t it just a matter of having a little or nothing in common? Would it be possible, with a little effort to turn a bore into an inspiring fountain of knowledge?
dedepuppets 