Last Sunday I grabbed two of my puppets and together we made the best bun recipe from page 32. Just to prove that it is that simple. I hope you like it, it would be great if you could share. It is such a great Christmas present. Buy a bag of flour, a wooden spoon and the Artist’s Survival Cookbook and you can make someone a really happy kitchen god(ess).
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Self-regulation is the last pillar of emotional intelligence. It is absolutely wonderful when you have all these skills, unfortunately not everyone has them and there are people who will take advantage. It is important to know when to step back and let go. Smile when you can’t make a change. Show emotions when it is safe and helps the team.
I have read a lot about emotional intelligence lately and so far I only came across one article that said it is all a load of crap. In this particular article it said the bullies will walk all over you. I still think it is good to stand-up against bullies, or at least try. They will hate you, when you don’t bow to them and will step it up big time. The sad thing is, when management supports bullying behaviour, simply because it is easier not to look too closely what’s wrong with a place. When it starts to affect your health though, it is best to get out. Life is too short!
Okay, back to my Pecha Kucha presentation. Sorry that it is a bit fragmented. The publication of the Artist’s Survival Cookbook was late breaking news. I am now up to slide 7. You might recall, my presententation is about “why I play with puppets”. I began creating the Dedes in 2012. They started out as No Bodies and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I do it. They just imposed themselves on me. In the meantime I have figured out that they are a wonderful tool to enhance emotional intelligence. This is the subject of my Pecha Kucha presentation. Pecha Kucha presentations have the format of 20 slides and the presenter can talk for 20 seconds to each slide. There is not much one can say :). Now I am up to the 4th pillar of Emotional Intelligence: People skills.
People skills: Those who are emotionally intelligent avoid power struggles and backstabbing. They usually enjoy other people, and can honestly give credit where credit is due. They easily earn respect from others. Keep in mind, respect has to be earned, it cannot be demanded. In fact all these characteristics (self-awareness, self-motivation, empathy and people skills) go hand in hand and follow each other.
The first shipment of the Artist’s Survival Cookbook has arrived. Just in time for the Indie bookfair at the Northshore Event Centre this weekend. For all my overseas friends… the book is now available at Amazon. I haven’t quite figured it out, but they already discounted the book, strange. It is also available on the CreateSpace Store, but here it is my intended price. This is one way of robbing the author of their royalties. Why would anybody buy it on CreateSpace when you can get it cheaper from Amazon, and the shipping is also cheaper there too. Grrrrr. But that is not what I wanted to write about!
The Indie bookfair was a very intersting affair. The exhibitors were small publishing houses, self published authors and companies that offer publishing services for those who want to become published authors. The visitors were mainly the latter or people who knew someone who was exhibiting. So there weren’t many sales to be had all around. I had prepared little bags with one bean plus a Dede instruction card on how to grow the bean, and on the back there was info about the book . At least the visitors were very happy to take the little gift and hopefully they will grow the bean and look up the book on Amazon (slim chance though, but I got some attention). As I was invited by my friend Dee to share her stall, I still came out ahead and Dee herself didn’t do too badly. We both made good contacts with people we can work with in future. And that is invaluable. The comments about the puppets were also nice. A few people knew the puppets from their exhibition and from puppet month last year, so they are little celebrities in their own right.
Personally, I get anxieties when I see so many people in one place all wanting to sell their books. I am pretty sure every single one is worthwhile reading and everyone poured their lifeblood into their work and then there I am, with a book too and wanting to sell it! I think I will have to retreat and play with my puppets again for a little while :)
Empathy is compassion and understanding of human nature. It enables you to respond genuinely to others’ concerns. Empathy doesn’t mean you take on other people’s fights, rather you support them to find their own way. Think about why you are fighting for something: is it because someone else wants you to, or it will benefit you or benefit the wider society (this come back to self-awareness and motiviation).
Playing with puppets is a wonderful tool to understand where others are coming from. But understanding is not everything, sometimes it simply makes you sick when you clearly see injustice, but can’t do anything about it. The heart bleeds, when you have to watch helplessly how some people in a powerless postition are walked over by people with self-serving motivation. I have been in this situation for the last 15 month. I tried what I could, but finally had to walk away. The bully was simply stronger (they usually are). At least I know that the people I supported will remember me for the rest of their lives even though I couldn’t help in the end. As life is closely entwined with my art, I have decided that my next book will be an Emotional Intelligence workbook by the Dedes. But first I have to find my creativity and my humour again :)
Motivation is the second pillar of emotional intelligence, in particular where your motivation stems from. For emotional intelligent people the motivation comes from within. External motivators such as money, titles or status symbols are less important, as is the approval from friends and teachers or other people you would like to impress.
In my opinion – and you can argue with me here – your true motivations for your actions (the ones only you will know) will indicate whether you are self-aware or self-centred. If you are motivated by your true and honest beliefs, you are aware. When you need approval from the outside you are self-centred.
After my late-breaking news yesterday, I am back with my Pecha Kucha presentation about “Why I play with puppets”. Okay, here is the first pillar of Emotional Intelligence: Self-awareness.
This is an understanding of who you are and taking responsibility for your actions. Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses and how your actions affect others. It is not the same as being self-centred. Self-centred people believe the world ows them. Sorry guys, it doesn’t. But don’t worry, when you are in you late teens or early twenties, you are allowed to be a little self-centred as you have to find out who you really are, not who your parents and peers and teachers try to tell you you are. By the end of your tweens the self-centredness should have morphed into self-awareness. If not – it’s time to get worried!
I am getting very close now making my famous Artist’s Survival Cookbook available on CreateSpace. After puppeteer-friend Tony had a good read and made correction, the lovely Heather went over the whole thing again with a fine comb. I have entered the latest changes and uploaded the complete file again. That is it now! In the meantime I have created a preview on CreateSpace. Everyone can look at and review the book here: https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1177728
There is an independend book festival on first weekend in October. My garden guru friend Dee has organised a stall and offered to share it with me. I also have seen the first proof copies from CreateSpace and I am happy with the print result. You guys can not believe how excited I am right now!
So what does Emotional Intelligence mean? To say it in the words of a layperson: it is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes without being walked over.
And this is where the puppets have been invaluable for me. Here Devil takes measure of my feet to see if the shoe fits. To come up with all the puppet stories, one has to be an excellent observer and understand human interaction.
Before I go on I will quickly run through the 5 pillars of Emotional Intelligence. These are the traits employers are looking for:
- Self-awareness
- Motivation
- Empathy
- People skills
- Self-regulation
I will explain those in the next slides.
The other day I did a presentation about my work. It was basically a Pecha Kucha presentation, although we couldn’t call it that, as the term is trademarked. In case you don’t know how this type of presentation works, it consists of 20 slides and the presenter has exactly 20 seconds to speak to each slide. That is a bit of a challenge. 20 seconds is not very long. Anyway, it was a good exercise to revisit what I do with my Dedes and I will put up the presentation over the next month. The format is pretty much the format of my blog anyway. However, I might add more text than 20 seconds worth.
The title of the presentation was: Why I play with puppets.
I arrived at puppetry from the visual arts angle, not performance, and I immediately appreciated the use of my Dedes for self-exploration. For me, they are magical problem-solvers and I often call them my “voodoo dolls gone mellow.” Since Devil started his new job in an environment with a bullying culture, I have also became aware that these puppets are brilliant for developing emotional intelligence. This is a term I only discovered recently, but all of a sudden everything makes perfect sense.
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