Archives for category: Relationships

I’ve searched this morning for “fat legs”, as I wanted to see whether our film “Fat legs & all” shows up in the search engine results. Very high on the list I came across the perfect script for a puppet show about Lipoedema on a bodybuilding web site. Okay the dialog happened in 2005. The first sentence said it all. I would love to know how the story continued.

If you can bear it, read it:

My girlfriend has fat legs

“My girlfriend has a great upper body, but her lower half leaves a little more to be desired. First off, she has naturally muscular legs from her high school dancing career. She’s got thick calves- 14.5 inches! Problem is, she also has a thick layer of fat around her quads, calves, and hams. Cottage cheese is a good way to describe it. It’s mostly genetic how she stores her fat, as her parents are both borderline obese.
I know 2 months of diet and cardio can do the trick, but the problem is her attitude. She’s not very driven. At one point, she went to the gym consistently for 2 months, but I believe it was only to make me happy. Now that we’re both home from school, I’m pushing her to join a gym and get down to work, but she keeps putting it off.
Worse, she buys mini-skirts and dresses which make her feel self-concious. She’s always asking me to tell her she looks great, and frankly, I’m not a person who likes to lie. Last night, I yelled at her and said “you don’t have any right to be wearing anything that exposes your fat legs!”, which is the God’s honest truth.
If you don’t have it, don’t show it, but obviously my harsh philosophy backfired, and she’s angry at me, telling me that I’m controlling and abusive for telling her what she can and cannot wear.
Yes, she has a right to wear what she wants, but it just doesn’t look right, and I don’t want her to be embarrassed if other guys/girls give her looks, and moreover, I don’t want to be seen with a “fat girl”.
I love my girl to pieces, and I’ve been with her for nearly 5 years. She just lacks the drive for fitness and self improvement that I have. Her favorite phrases are “I want to wear what makes me happy”, “Running is too hard”, and “I don’t care what you or other people think”…which are the phrases 100% of fat people say. She’s plain lazy and unmotivated.
How can I get her to lose that weight? She’d look gorgeous in a mini-skirt if she did it, but damn it, what should I do/say?

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“Well, aside from dragging her to the gym kicking and screaming, and buying her clothes that go well with her body type, there is not much you can do. Seems that your girlfriend has made it very clear that she does not care how she looks and does not want to excerise. Now if you don’t like being around “fat girls”, you have to make a choice: Keep her, or find a fit girl.

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“I want to keep her, I mean, I’ve kept her for almost 5 years now. She has so many great qualities, but this legs thing is horrible. I try not to look at them when we’re in bed, cuz it makes me go limp within 2 seconds…lol.
I just don’t get it. I mean, lets put it this way: I have horrible side delts, so I would NEVER wear a tank top. Never. Hell, I’m cutting right now, and won’t take my shirt off unless I hit my goal of 10% bf…only 2 more months to go. See what I mean? You gotta earn your right. In the mean time, have the decency to hide that ****.
Any other suggestions?

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“Break both her legs with your foot.

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“Have a long term vision.
Fat legs will be good in long term.When she will be preganant, her body will burn fat legs to get energy.So legs will be slim.

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“You could ask her to come along when you train. She can workout with you. Then do cardio. Once she goes that time and feels great after, she will want to go….and soon she may start going alone.

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“I’ve done that…not breaking her legs, but taking her with me to the gym. However, she hates every exercise except dumbbell curls with 5 pounds, tricep kickbacks with 5 pounds, and 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill.
I’ve even gone as far as making her a meal plan, which she pathetically tried to follow for a week, and I even made her a training split, which she slowly veered off from. I’ve tried to be nice, to compliment her and feed her ego…nothing has worked.
I see alot of qualities in her which I could see myself being with long term. But her attitude towards fitness sickens me. Her parents are fat, and I fear I’ve got myself a future fatty.

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“Looks like your in a tough situation my friend. It’s great that you have put all this effort into getting her to workout, but if she is not going to do it….well…
i don’t know what to say.
Maybe also explain to her that excersing is never easy but she tell her that she has to do it…not just for you, but for her own benefit.

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“I have. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. She’ll do it, but only for a short spurt where she sees results, but for some reason the results don’t fuel her to work even harder, unlike how most of us are fueled by our results…it’s very strange.
It doesn’t help that the only “food” in her fridge that I’ve ever seen over the course of our relationship has been frozen cheese blintzes, old chinese take out, ice cream sandwiches, and an assortment of barely recognizable rotted produce. There’s also an abundance of canned soup, sugary cereal, and Easy Mac. Her parents don’t cook, and her brother is malnourished.
I think her parents are kinda senile, or crazy. They’re both burnt out from the high society living they once had. Her mom was a lawyer, and her dad still owns a large portion of Worcester, the city I live near by. They’re rich Jewish folk, if that has anything to do with their family mentality.
They love their kids to pieces, but God, they don’t feed them very well, and I guess my girl is just used to that…I dunno.

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“She is used to doing whatever and she wants, and thats not going to change anytime soon. Girls are like that, in denial, they buy **** that they don’t look good in and expect their guys to feed their egos or else they are “a$$holes.”

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“keep her until ur at 10% bodyfat, then dump her and get someone who is more fit for u
keep upgrading them :P

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“Exactly. I’m no *******. I just like to call it like I see it.

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“You know you can always take her to the doctor and have a doctor tell her that she needs to loose weight. Have her blood pressure, EKG, etc. Once she learns that something may be wrong, she may change…who knows.

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“Last summer, I worked at a gym, and almost cheated on her with the swim instructor. That caused all sort of problems when my girl found out.
I love her though, so leaving her isn’t an option unless it gets horrible.

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“I got the same problem as you man, I love her to death but shes a little chubby. When I find something out, I’ll let you know.

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“maybe u just think u like her… and are too afraid to leave her and start a new relationship. Just think about it… one day u’ll wake up , ur 250 pound gf lying next to u, and be like wtf am i doing in here. By then it will be too late

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“No, I love her to death, but I WILL NOT tolerate an fat/obese girl. Absolutely not. The way I look at life, fitness, and my body, I will not stand for it. That’s where my love stops- when the scale goes above 150.
BTW, she’s 5’5, 134 right now. She looked absolutely stunning back in high school when she was 112 and co-captain of the dance team. Guess I can thank 3 years of college for this. Stupid college…lol.

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“I’m kinda in a similier situation. My g/f was a cheer leader/dancer in high school and also on a very competetive gymnastics team, AMAZING shape…I mean a perfect 10. Now 2 almost 3 years later she has gained weight, doesnt work out and really doesnt act like she is too intrested in it, she even complains that she is fat (which I dont think she is FAT, just a little on the cute chubby side =) But says she doesnt have the drive or time to work out…
It’s so hard cause I know if I bring it up she will think I’m calling her fat hah…

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“Yeah, it’s tough because they know they’re fat, they know you think they are, yet they refuse to do anything about it. It’s like you know there’s a nasty black rat in your kitchen, but you sit there and refuse to get rid of the bastard. It’s illogical. I hate it when she fishes for compliments though. From now on, I’m not taking her with me on my cheat meals, and I’ll tell her she’s fat everytime she asks me how she looks.

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“Dont justify her actions. If you dont like it THEN LEAVE.
Its as simple as that. You cant change people. If they are lazy slobs then they will be lazy slobs forever. Fine a new girl.

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“Girls are not like guys….they are either motivated and enjoy eating healthy and working out, or they’re not. So many of my friends say they want to get in shape, they workout for a week and hate it.
This is a tough situation because you love her, yet she is becoming unattractive. If she is motivated now to get in shape, I doubt she will ever be.
You have to know right now that she most likely won’t change, no matter what you do. So, you need to choose…can her personality and all the things you love about her make up for the fact that she is not attractive to you.
Of course it sounds selfish, but attraction is important. And, it’s not just about that, it’s about a lifestyle. Working out and eating right is a big part of your life, if it’s not part of her’s than it will always be a problem.

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“One of the most sensible things I’ve heard in a long time. Are you a girl? If so, I hold your opinion to be even higher.

Its not going to get better. Unless she wants to slim down for special occasions.

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“I’ll slip laxatives and Lipo 6 into her food and drinks…haha. J/K

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“chop her legs off

The week was pretty hectic, and the poor Dedes fell by the wayside for the time being. However, we will have a Dede Workshop on Saturday and all will be good. In the meantime I want to show you a film created by my artist friend Cath O’Brien. Avid readers of my blog will have heard the name before. Cath is a huge Dede fan and she also created the puppets Trash queen and Sidekick who featured in the last Dede film. Here now her first own film called “A radom act of art”. As usual my place was behind the camera.

Cath runs workshops for children and loves to work with recycled material. If you want to know more, here is the link to her website Makelikeatree.co.nz

Enjoy.

Yesterday we had another workshop and the saga between Magician and Devil continues. Who has the right to wear the spokesperson badge? Devil is working extremely hard to establish himself in his new job, but Magician doesn’t tire of interferring. At least some of the other Dedes are starting to get so over the feud and are happy to give Devil a hand. But see for yourself…

 

harvey discussing

I asked Harvey what he enjoyed most at the cafe yesterday. He didn’t have to think long. He said, he loved that he was taken seriously. Everybody at the lunch valued his view point and at no time was he given the feeling he is just a silly puppet who shouldn’t have an opinion. I have to say, he did engage people in serious discussions, more so than he does at home. Mr XL, his sponsor, can be really proud of him. I wonder if it would be beneficial if the Dedes got out more. I have to put this forward to the Dede committee. But first I am looking forward to the workshop this afternoon, where people visit us at our studio to create a new film and we are expecting one very very special guest.

push push and harvey

It is about time for some real feel-good news. And we finally got some. It was quite funny and very unassuming, but now all the Dedes are celebrating. Here is the story.

Late last night, Push Push the elephant walked up to Harvey and said, “Harvey, you are a sponsored puppet, aren’t you? What do you actually have to do?” Harvey looked at her from top to bottom and back again, and said, “You have to find yourself a sponsor, you silly thing!”

“No, that’s not what I mean” she said. “What do you do when you are a sponsored puppet?” Harvey still didn’t get it, but Mouse jumped in. “Does this mean you’ve got a sponsorship?” she cried. “Yes,” said Push Push and suddenly got emotional with little tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. “Someone is sponsoring me. But I have no idea how I can thank this person!”  Mouse jumped up and down with joy and hugged Push Push over and over again. “Oh, you lucky, lucky Dede! You might get out of here before it all falls to pieces.”

But now Harvey stepped in and pushed Mouse to the side. “Oh no, a sponsorship is not a ticket out! It is quite the contrary. You get a sponsorship so that you stay.” All of a sudden he was the cool dude, the old experienced hand in sponsorships, which is in fact true, as he found his sponsor last year at the exhibition in July. He explained to Push Push that she will have to send Christmas cards and birthday cards to her sponsor and hold her hand up as often as possible to appear in films and on the blog, so that people see her and her value increases. She also might have to go out to lunch with her sponsor from time to time. “I am having a lunch date with my sponsor this Friday. It is not as easy as it sounds. It’s bordering on work” he finished off and folded his arms across his chest, just a tad miffed that he wasn’t so special anymore.

“Oh no, I won’t go out for lunches, my sponsor lives overseas! And I am happy to write Christmas cards and birthday cards. I will write one every month, I am starting right now!”

“Oh dear,” Harvey rolled his eyes. “How on earth did she find a sponsor?”

lost puppets

Out of the blue, Devil showed up. And can you believe it? He had Lizzie and Lil’Sculpture in tow. Phew, what a relief. But at the same time, everybody was very, very angry with Devil as he obviously knew all along where the two missing puppets had been hiding out.

Surprisingly, Sunny played totally cool now and said he knew all along they would not have met with an untimely end as the sturdy polystyrene man will outlast any Dede. But having observed him all week, I believe his change of mind only came after ArtistatExit0 pointed out that Lil’Sculpture’s distant cousin, the plain polystyrene coffee cup, will last for two hundred years. Right!

Everybody else stormed towards Devil and wanted to know what happend. Devil, back in a confident spokesperson mode announced he found himself a new job. From now on he will be the spokesperson of the trash puppets in the neighbourhood. Over the last two weeks the three of them had nutted out what they will to do in future. Life under the regime of Magician was too dangerous for trash puppets, so they had to set up their own union and run their own workshops. They have invited a very special guest to their next workshop and it will be on Saturday the 22 Feb in the studio…

“Hang on,” Magician interrupet at this point. “The Dedes have a workshop on the 22nd, the studio space is taken!”

“No it is not” Devil replied calmly and produced a booking sheet from under his robe “Here, see for yourself, we have made a booking for the space, where is your’s?”

At this point Mouse turned fire-engine red and said under her breath “I wondered where the booking sheet had got to.”

sunny looking for lil

It so happens that the first anniversary of the day when Sunny created Lil’ Sculpture is approaching. You might remember it was last year on Waitangi Day when Sunny, the wannabe artist, all of a sudden got frantically busy and came up with a cute little figure. I was very miffed with him, as he actually didn’t come up with the concept but just copied the work of Artistatexit0. If you can’t remember, here is the story. Anyway, Sunny isn’t the most reliable Dede. He is so involved in his own little world, trying to create his 15 minutes of fame, that he usually forgets about anybody else and doesn’t keep in touch. Funnily enough, when he realised that it is Waitangi Day this week, he all of a sudden remembered that Lil’ Sculpture almost made him famous and he wanted to go and look his little mate up and reminice about the good old times (They weren’t actually that good… but I won’t enlighten him about this).

He got a big surprise when he arrived at the bookshelf, where Lil’ Sculpture has been residing like forever, to find the little man was nowhere to be seen. Worse, there was no-one else around, no neighbours, that Sunny could ask about the whereabouts of his creation. He tried to keep a brave face, but I could see that he was very distressed about the disappearance of his artwork.

devil explain

Devil and I had breakfast together. I know he is extremely scathing about the committee when he is with Mouse, or so Mouse says. They have been good mates for years, and I assume he feels he can let rip.When I last spoke to Mouse she said he didn’t think he made any mistakes at all. But when I listened to Devil, his point of view didn’t seem particularly skewed, it all made perfect sense to me.

Right away he made it clear he wasn’t unhappy he lost this particularly ungrateful job. Nobody appreciated his efforts and the committee were the worst. To be honest, they had no clue what they wanted, nor did they know what is involved in a spokesperson’s job, but they expected miracles from him. Their motto basically is, we say jump and you jump, to hell with the implications. And while one member of the committee said jump to the right, the other said jump to the left, so he ended up standing in the middle of the road. Just look back at the last year. One day they wanted a zazzle shop, the next day they wanted to sell books, then they wanted a facebook page, a week later they thought workshops would be all the rave… and each time they expected him to put his full heart into the campaign while he knew very well that next week at least one of them would change their mind. He tried to tell them they should focus, it’s no good trying everything, but they didn’t want to listen to his expertise and it got really, really tiresome in the end. He got so sick of the uphill battle. Good luck to  Magician. But of course, he will be the hero for a while as new brooms always sweep clean.

“So why are you so down then? You should be skipping and dancing. It sounds like it was a job from hell anyway.” I asked.

“I am simply grieving for the engery I spent” he said. “You know I am not the youngest anymore. In fact I am the oldest of the Dedes. It gets more and more difficult to re-invent yourself, but that is what I have to do!”

Good on you, Devil!

magician speech

After the Woodheads had started their long track back to the bottom of the stairs, where they usually reside, Magician was ready for his maiden speech. He stood quietly on stage and smiled benevolently at the crowd. You have to admit, he does have a very benign expression. It made me all fuzzy inside watching him slowly unfolding his arms and stretching them out as if he wanted to embrace the entire Dede world. The crowd looked at him expectantly. Finally he said very slowly: “I will save you, trust me!” in a rather high-pitched voice. And that was it. He bowed a few times in all directions and the Dedes thanked him with rapturous applause.

“Oh’ dear”, said Devil from his favourite spot behind the curtain. “Ssssh,” I said “Give him a chance, he just does things differently than you.”

“So far he hasn’t done anything!” Devil answered back and gave me a very dirty look as if I’d betrayed him. Then he wandered back to his bedstead to have another rest.

magician intro

Yesterday we were finally introduced to the new spokesperson. It is the Magician. I never would have guessed it, as he hasn’t stood out in any way so far. He kept a very low profile. Indeed, I have never heard his voice before. But obviously he was in the right place at the right time. As I understand it, the Dedes have been dissatisfied with Devil’s performance for a while. (Personally I think it all started when Devil resigned last year to prove a point, but then he took his job back when everybody begged him to continue. But that is a different story.) So back to the Magician. He obviously had asked the Dede committee every so often if he could be of service, but they said they were happy with the Devil they know… Then, recently, two self-appointed advisors, I think they call themselves the woodheads, showed up and told the committee that they are going nowhere fast with the Devil. They painted a very bleak picture for the future of the Dedes if they didn’t get a new spokesperson. They pointed out the Devil has his own agenda, and rubs people up the wrong way to boot. The Dedes thought about it and had to agree. But what to do? Luckily the woodheads had a solution: the Dedes simply need a magician, and then they conjured him up. What could the Dedes do, except to say: yes, you guys are so right! And here we are.