“It really annoys me that you Dedes seem to think life is just a big fat joke” said Monkey, as miserable as ever. “Truth be told, we will need to earn a living soon or we all have to go back into the big recycling bin where we came from.” Then he held up the book the Dedes created last year. If you want to support the Dedes, it is available from Amazon.com or Createspace.com
“If you just wouldn’t look so miserable, Monkey, you really put the punters off,” said Milky Bar Devil, the coverboy.
Alien is shown as our profile pic on Instagram. The Dedes believe it is quite a cute picture and very welcoming. Yesterday it disappeared miraculously. Turns out Alien had a problem with his visa. He is a bit slack. Anyway as he is the Dedes’ heraldic animal, he was pressured to sort it out asap. Which he did and sure enough he is back today. I have never told you that he also coind the Dedes’ motto: “I smile largely because I have no clue what’s going on”
Good on you Alien!
Today is Guy Fawkes, the day when the English celebrate a failed terrorist attack with fireworks. This is the only time when you can buy fire crackers in New Zealand. Unfortunately half the Dede population is sick. The animals are hiding in bed, shit scared of the noise. Of course people started to let of fireworks last night already and it will continue tonight. Strangely enough Top Dog was not cuddling up with all the others. I hear he was spotted in the supermarket stocking up on crackers to celebrate his big win next week.
“Sorry, I have to burst your bubble” said Devil to Top Dog. “It is easy to bad mouth others, but delivering the goods is another story.”
“Hey, I’ve read the emails you’ve sent to the artist. Stay out of my way or you might join Alley Cat in prison!” barked Top Dog and walked away.
It comes as no surprise that Top Dog elbowed his way onto the stage. He pushed Benevolent King to the side and shouted “for the last time, you idiots, when will you learn, only I can make Dedeland great again.” Everyone in the audience looked sheepishly at the floor. Only a thin voice asked “Isn’t Dedeland in trouble because of the likes of you?”
Benevolent King called a general meeting, then climbed on the cupboard to address the assembly “I am very concerned about the Dedes. We once knew what our purpose – we had to keep the artist on the straight and narrow! I am afraid we are no longer this critical force we used to be. Instead we are now squabbling over minor issues and no longer look out for each other. Personally I believe Alley Cat has been put in jail unjustified.”
All the puppets looked sheepishly on the floor. No-one said anything. Only a thin voice asked “what is he on about?”
Benevolent King does not like injustice. He had the strong inkling that something wasn’t right and decided to invervene “So tell me, my friend, what has Alley Cat done?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” answered the policeman truthfully. “I am an executive force. I just obey orders!” Before the king could ask who gave the orders, Bobby continued. “But I can tell you Alley Cat is a roamer, she is a gypsy. I am sure she is guilty. I didn’t catch an innocent one!”
Benevolent King swayed his head “yes, well, you have to believe that, otherwise you would get a serious professional crisis. But for me it is not good enough.”
Bobby handcuffed Alley Cat and dragged her away while Alley Cat was still wondering how many lives she really has. It looks like most of the world attributes nine lives to cats. As we couldn’t solve the riddle for her we issued a warning for cats, they should stay clear of Germany as they get short changed by two lives.
So for now Alley Cat is locked up, but she has no idea what she has done. It is becoming more and more kafkaesk.
Alley Cat was still watching the little wooden cat running into the sunset, when suddenly Bobby, the policeman, jumped out of nowhere and threw her to the ground. “I am arresting you on suspicion of criminal intent” he shouted. Alley Cat was scared stiff. Her first thought was “Thank God, there are no guns in Dedeland. If there were, I would be dead. Seven lives and all!” Only afterwards did she wonder what she must have done to deserve this treatment.
This incident raised new questions. While Alley Cat was still counting her blessed seven lives, one of our readers asked “shouldn’t she have nine?” And true, this is one of the riddles I couldn’t solve so far. In Germany where I come from cats have only seven lives, while in English speaking countries they have nine. What have the German cats done that they are shortchanged by two lives. Can anyone explain this to me, please? The next question of course, should Alley Cat have only seven lives, because she was created by a German or should she have nine lives, as she was created in New Zealand? What a conundrum.
Alley Cat had a wonderful idea this morning. “I know from experience, pets are very helpful when you suffer from depression” she said and set out to catch the Artist’s new wooden cat. “This one is so cute, it will keep Foxy Lady entertained for a while!”
The kitten ran for it’s life and escaped by a whisker “I need to see the artist,” the little thing called on her way out, “I am not fully developed yet.”
There was a bit outcry amongst the Instagram readers. One concerned reader from Turkey commented, “Well, a cat is something, a kitten is something totally different! Maybe Foxy Lady indeed needs more of an empathic-sensitive-deep-looking cat, rather than a frisky-playful kitten.” Very good point, indeed. And then another reader pointed out “Foxes would eat the kitten, that why she ran. She didn’t intend to be Foxy Lady’s lunch. What? Was Alley Cat trying to get rid of the little kitten. Jealous maybe?” This has to be investigated!
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