Milky Bar Devil looked so cute with his hamburger bun the other day, that the Dedes decided they are making him the poster boy for the cover and L’Artiste played around with the arrangement today. Having arrived at this stage, the little light at the end of the tunnel is definitely in sight. I have three more recipes to add, and a couple other changes, the proof-reader is lined-up too…. So can’t be too long now.
In case you haven’t had dinner yet, here is a picture of the finished hamburger.
How could we have missed this. All those flour and water recipes and no hamburger buns. We have pizza and pasta and some more obscure things, but no hamburger buns. Mouse and Devil’s Advocate are currently editing the book, while L’Artiste does the layout. It is strange how you often only see inconsistencies once everything is formatted. Anyway, last night they realised they have no hamburger buns. Milky Bar Devil laughed as this is what he wanted to contribute. “Why didn’t you say so?” Mouse asked a bit annoyed. “Ah well, I thought that everything has to be crunchy, the buns, the pizza base, the grissini… I thought you aren’t interested in a soft bun.” He gave Mouse a big elfish smile and it was immediately clear why he prefers the soft buns. He has a big gap in his teeth.
“No, you got the wrong impression there” said Mouse. “We always point out that tastes are different. Some people like a soft pizza base, others a crunchy one. It’s simply that I like it crunchy, but for the completeness of the book we definitely need hamburger buns. So would you please give me your recipe!”
Milky Bar Devil handed over his piece of paper and Mouse was surprised how quick they could be made. Despite it being a yeast dough, they only need to rise once. She shook her head in disbelieve. “Does this really work?” she asked. “Yes,” Milky Bar Devil said and grabbed the recipe back. “Give me half an hour and I’ll quickly throw them together for you.”
3 cups of flour, 2 teaspoons of dry yeast, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 1 cup of lukewarm water. 6 tablespoons of vegetable oil, 1 egg, 1/2 teaspoon of salt.
Baking paper or silicon mat for the tray.
Put flour in a bowl and make a well in the middle. Pour in water and add the yeast and sugar and sprinkle a little of the flour over the water (the sugar and flour will help the yeast to become active). Let stand for 10 minutes until the yeast is foamy.
Preheat the oven to 2200C
In a separate bowl whisk together egg, salt and oil with a fork. Then add the yeast and flour. Work everything into a soft dough and knead for about 5 minutes until it is smooth and elastic. To start with the dough is very sticky and will want to stick to the work surface and your hands. Do not add more flour, just knead until it is an elastic, non-sticky dough. Divide into 8 balls and place on tray lined with a silicon mat or baking paper. Flatten the balls lightly to form a disc.
Cover with a clean tea towel and let rest for at least 10 minutes or until the oven is heated to the right temperature.
Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on a wire rack.
The Dedes have a day off today, so I take the chance to introduce this little monster. I know, it has nothing in common with my creations, except being a puppet. Unlike my Dedes, Mama Dinosaur is cute, soft and cuddly. I met her in class today. My students are currently working on a comic strip and it looks like one of them is following in my footsteps. She is hand stitching a series of animal characters to subsequently take photographs and invent a story of their adventure. I am certainly looking forward to the story!
As you know, last weekend the Dedes worked overtime to get their pictures taken for the Artist’s Survival Cookbook. Even though they worked late, they didn’t quite finish and will have to continue in their spare time. It didn’t help that they had a heated discussion for a while, which kept them from working for some time.
Punch Drunk got the munchies while waiting his turn and he thought that while he waits he might as well whip up a treat for everyone to keep them going. The fridge was rather empty. They simply forgot to go to the shops to get food as they were so engrossed in the photoshoot. Anyway, he found some butter and sugar, and flour is of course always in the pantry. So he decided to throw together some shortbread. He thought it was a good idea and that the treat would go down well.
Fairy Godmother shrieked in disgust when she saw him placing a plate with his baking on the table. She grabbed the piece of shortbread Punch Drunk held in his hand and shouted “That stuff is pure poison! It is made of butter and sugar only! Can you think of anything more unhealthy?” The studio fell silent and everyone looked at her. Punch Drunk ducked, obviously fearing Fairy Godmother would hurl the cookie at him. But she didn’t. She just glared at him disapprovingly.
“I’ll have one” said Devil, who has a sweet tooth and helped himself confidently. “Me too” L’Artiste followed suit. He was running the show and had not realised how hungry he was. “Are you crazy?” said Fairy Godmother. She wanted to confiscate the plate but Devil held on to it. “It is a little treat to share around. At least when one reads the recipe one is fully aware of what’s in it” he said. “Get over it.” Fairy Godmother continued to point out out all the negative effects of sugar and fat. Of course some of the other Dedes sided with her.
In the meantime, L’Artiste gulped down three more pieces and said: “You don’t have to eat it! But I can go for another hour now. Let’s get back to work. Chop, chop!”
Mouse grabbed Punch Drunk by the arm and said “I think for the sake of completeness, we should put the recipe in the book.” Punch Drunk looked at her gratefully and handed over the recipe.
4 tablespoons of butter, ¼ cup of sugar, 1 cup of flour
Beat the butter and the sugar together until smooth. Stir in flour to get a smooth paste. (If the dough is too crumbly and doesn’t’ stick together, wet your hands with water and work into the dough until it holds together.) Heat the oven to 1900C While the oven is heating up, let the paste rest in the fridge. Then put it on a work surface and gently roll out until the paste is about 1 cm thick. Cut into fingers and place on a baking tray. As the dough contains a lot of butter, there is no need to butter the tray. Prick each piece with a fork a couple of times. Bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes, or until pale golden-brown. Set aside to cool on a wire rack.
This is a really busy weekend for the Dedes. They all lined up in the studio to get their pictures taken for the Artist’s Survival Cookbook. For a while they’ve been discussing with L’Artiste how to do the imagery in the book. The pics on the blog were only quick snapshots taken on the day when their recipe was baked. Mouse baulked at the idea of re-making everything just to get better shots. She is really annoyed that nobody listened to her when she said, “Do it once and do it right!” Why should she spend more time now, she asked, when she can use her time so much better for the design of the book.
“But don’t you want to have the best possible book?” asked Detail.
“Leave her alone” said Devil. “I can understand, she’s the one who does all the work! There is always a way around it.”
In the end they decided to take new pictures in the studio and present the existing ones as selfies. They asked Mouse to quickly mock a page up to show everyone. She acted coyly at first, as she doesn’t want to show work in progress. She has a long list of things she still has to solve. But the others were adament that the readers need to know they are still working on the book. In the end she succumbed.
Originally Pavlova wanted to make hot cross buns today. The buns are a tradition in England as well as in Australia and New Zealand. Having settled in a new country Pavlova is overzealous in her attempts to perfectly fit in and has been talking for weeks about making the buns though she has never made them before. She has also been complaining that you have been able to buy them in the shops almost from Christmas. It came to a head today when Harvey gleefully told her the buns are actually eaten on Good Friday rather than Easter Sunday. Pavlova doesn’t get facts wrong often. When she does, she is most upset and mopes for weeks. So it didn’t come as a surprise that she left in a huff after Harvey had enlightened her, leaving the other Dedes annoyed that they didn’t get their promised treat. Of course they could have bought them from the shop, but not today. Today is one of only three days in the year when all the shops are closed.
Fortunately Cool Cat stepped forward and said she could make the spicy buns. Like Harvey’s yeast plait, they don’t fit the ingredients list exactly, but because it is such a tradition Mouse turned a blind eye. Apart from raisins you also need cinnamon.
7 cups of flour (2 cups of whole meal and 5 cups of white flour), 1.5 cups warm milk, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 2 teaspoons yeast, 100 grams butter, 3/4 cup of sugar, 2 teaspoons of cinnamon, 1/4 cup of raisins (or other dried fruit eg cranberries)
Cross: 1/2 cup of flour and 6 tablespoons of water
Glazing: 1 tablespoon sugar and 1 tablespoon water
In a big bowl mix the two types of flour together with a fork. Make a well in the middle. In a pot heat up the milk a little then pour into the well and add the teaspoons of sugar and yeast. Let sit for a 10 mins until the yeast is foamy. Melt the butter in a pot then add sugar and cinnamon. Then add this mixture to the yeast and flour. Mix to a dough. Transfer to a flat surface and knead well for 5 minutes. Put the dough back into the bowl. Cover with a clean tea towel and let rise for an hour or so.
When it has doubled in size, add the raisins/dried fruit to the dough and knead again until the fruit is well distributed through the dough. Form 18 balls and place them on a baking tray dusted with flour, leaving a little gap between the balls. Preheat oven to 2000C. Let the buns rise again while the oven is heating up.
For the cross, mix the flour and water and carefully draw a cross with the side of a teaspoon on each of the balls.
Bake in the oven for 20 mins.
Just before they are done, mix the sugar and water for the glazing. Brush on as soon as the buns come out of the oven while they are still piping hot.
Harvey, the rabbit, knew all along that his time to contribute to the Artist’s Survival cookbook will come at Easter. For months he had told the Dedes he is going to make a yeast plait. His mum made one every year, as it was traditionally eaten where his ancestors came from. Where exactly that is, he doesn’t know. “Somewhere in the East” his mum would say. ‘East of what?’, he still wonders, as every place is East of somewhere else.
“You live in New Zealand now” said his partner Pavlova snobbishly. “You should make Hot Cross Buns as it is the custom here”. Pavlova is obviously not from around here either but is very keen to fit in. Harvey choose to ignore her, as he has done more and more often lately. They have been together for a little over a year now and it is so sad watching Harvey slip back into his old habits. But that aside.
Last night when everybody had gone to bed he set out to do his job. He even organised a few raisins to add, an ingredient that is usually not on the list, but they are important for a hint of sweetness. It is Easter after all. As the dough is a yeast dough it needs time to rise. This wasn’t a problem as Harvey could use the down time to hide the Easter eggs around the house. Still, he only finished in the wee hours. And as a result he slept in this morning. Oh, what a surprise when he came into the kitchen …half the plait was gone.
“Please don’t get angry” said Mouse.” We were all so curious and couldn’t wait any longer.”
“And,” Harvey asked nervously,” is it good enough to be included in the book?”
“Of course it is!” said Mouse. “Where is the recipe?”
“In my memory!”
Mouse looked at him and wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut. She has an inkling that Harvey is dyslexic. She has never seen anything in his handwriting. Though he claims he writes regularly to his sponsor Mr XL, Mr XL complains bitterly that he hardly hears from his buddy. Mouse doesn’t quite know who to believe.
“Well” commented Pavlova with a snide untertone, “that thing is not too different from Hot Cross Buns. So what’s the big deal?”
Harvey threw his arms in the air. “Leave it out then!” he shouted and left.
Mouse looked at Pavlova. Why do some have to make their lives miserable when they fall out of love? she asked herself and said to Pavlova “I will get his recipe and it goes into the book.”
“No need for me to make Hot Cross Buns today then?”
This week another unexpected story emerged! It looks like the disgraced EIW is on the way to snapchat stardom. I have to tell you the story:
Midweek she moved to my friend’s office. For the first day she was just sitting around idly. What’s new, I thought, good riddance lazy sod! The next day, though, my friend reported excitedly, that everything changed as soon as Sammy Salsa entered the room. As if EIW had been waiting for Sammy all her life. Sammy is a stylist and EIW is into fashion big time (you can tell by her silly hair thingummy). At last she found someone to talk to and she virtually latched onto him. She was just waiting for her big chance, and did she jump on it or what? She begged him on her knees to make a snapchat film with her. Surprisingly his snapchat friends loved her as well and asked for more. And here we are. I added the three little films they’ve made so far together. I particularly like the last one, where she is praying. As if she thanks the higher being to have escaped the Dede household. Does she really say “Quick” in the end? Is she worried she has to come back.? No, no, I am happy for her and her new life.
I also noticed, Sammy refers to her as he. It never occurred to me that she might be a fa’afafine. Of course Sammy, who is from Samoa, would immediately recognise one. Sometimes I am really oblivious to what’s going on. But, say, doesn’t she look lively in his hands.
I am really in a pickle now. Flip’s Top Dog Training Centre has come forward to rescue the abandoned Dede Top Dog, who had been sent – for good reasons I might add – to Beach Haven Siberia (which is my windy and wet backyard). Pavlova, the lab rat, and I were keen to study his demise. So far we have only observed his resistance, his strong will not to give in to our harsh treatment. On the bus home from work I realised how bizarre the whole situation is. One could even claim the story has a blasphemic undertone. I apologise profoundly, it certainly was not intended. In the picture yesterday, Top Dog indeed looks crucified and coincidentally it is the week of Easter. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Mea culpa.
Anyway, to make it clear, a week or so ago I decided to cut Top Dog loose as he is permanently interfering with the hard work the other Dedes do. As the Dedes want to move forward, Top Dog definitely has to go. He is simply incapable of co-existing peacefully with the rest of the team. Since I always wanted to know how long the Dedes could brave the elements without breaking down (I want to enter a semi-permanent Dede sculpture in an outdoor art exhibition) this seemed to be a good opportunity, and the perfect job, for Top Dog. I did not reckon with how brutal it must appear to my readers, who of course only know half the story and have to make up the rest!
Anyway, while on the bus, I decided my weather experiment can safely come to a conclusion. I know enough. After five days of really heavy rain showers alternating with sunshine, Top Dog is still as hard as a rock and smiling. This gives me the confidence that any Dede sculpture should survive two weeks of outdoor exhibition. Happy with what I found out, I sent a text to the Dedes to take Top Dog down and get him back into the house. At first they were very relieved and commended me for my change of heart and leniency. Funnily enough, by the time I arrived home Top Dog was sitting in the corner, wearing a dog leash and a muzzle. Pavolva reported he was so full of himself again and couldn’t stop boasting about his toughness. The Dedes were exhausted and had heard enough.
It occured to me that mabye it is us who make Top Dog play up. Maybe we make him feel inadequate and he has to constantly re-assure himself of his greatness. The comments on the blog proved he has indeed real friends who like him. Just not us! All of us here are convinced a bit of dog training wouldn’t go amiss. So, if Flip’s Top Dog Training Centre is still prepared to take him on, he is ready to move on to a good home. Han de Vere might enjoy a companion, but don’t blame me if it goes haywire, you were warned! Top Dog is very big headed, he is twice the size of Han. So watch out! But then you are the professionals.
dedepuppets 