This image is a composition I couldn’t resist. I don’t know if you could call it subtle. Thank goodness, it is not a self-portrait :) I am a middle of the road kind of person, through and through.
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This is a dam in the Waitakere Ranges in West-Auckland, where the hustle of the big city gives way to the tranquilty of nature. It is right next to the main road, but only a few paces away from the car park the sounds are seriously muffled. You can physically feel the stillness. I like this image as it quietly unites so many opposites: Fluid – Solid, Nature – Man-made, Hard – Soft, Light – Dark…
Remember the little boy entering the Woods of life without sign post in yesterday’s image? What will he look like in forty years time?
The path is meandering, but level; the trees are crooked!
I only hope he doesn’t lose the spring in his step!
Last night I went to an exhibition opening of my students. I was impressed. This is one of the things I enjoy most about teaching, seeing individuals developing in their art. They are by no means all young kids. In photography we have a lot of mature students. Unfortunately I have the ungrateful task of teaching digital imaging. Generally, the younger ones just do it, the older ones say “I hate it, I hate it, I hate it”… but at one stage (and I can usually wait for it) they come up to me with a big wide smile all over their face and say something like “I am proud of myself, I have done so much on the computer”. The best of course is when they say “I love digital now!” I can’t take the credit for this, though. It doesn’t have much to do with my teaching, but with them gaining confidence in an area they never would have thought they could excel in. Good on you!
After the event I was hurled towards the opposite end of human emotions. I bumped into a friend, a very talented musician, who is currently drifting down the path towards middle age. I love him to bits. He really has something going for him, but he doesn’t know yet what, and he is increasingly running out of patience. He told me, and I repeat verbatim: “I don’t like what the world has on offer at the moment.”
Oh dear! What a puppet moment!
I had lunch today with a very dear friend of mine, who incidentally also reads my blog. She commented on me slipping into the deep and meaningful at the moment. Ah well, I am still on the search where the puppets came from. But I guess I have to ease up a little. My post yesterday didn’t go down too well :). This morning I was thinking of writing about what I call “emotional cross-dressers”, but I give it a miss. I have to think about the subject for a little longer anyway.
A few years back I attended a training course for a volunteer organisation. One could describe the course as psychology for lay people. Most of it was common sense. But there was this one diagram describing the basic mental attitudes, which I found very good. I re-drew it this morning; something I wanted to do for some time. Yep, I know representatives of each and every one of those four catagories.
Personally, I am oscillating between the two left images (as I guess most women do!) When I am in the top left, everything is honky dory. I strongly believe in win-win situations and I work hard to achieve them. When I am in the bottom left, my soul mate comes in very handy :). Thank you!
Problems arise, when I come across someone who has the mental attitude of the top right quadrant. Often I simply walk away, but I can also turn into a lioness, particularly if a third party is involved. Lioness mode, believe me, is not a pretty picture and it is very exhausting, so I try to avoid it… Unfortunately I am not always successful.
Further to my post of yesterday… I had a few conversations since and I realised I wasn’t entirely clear in what I’ve said.
It is very sad, but ultimately I think (and this is my very own cheerless opinion) we are alone in the world. I believe there is no way, one human being can ever completely know and comprehend another living being (often we don’t know ourselves). At the same time we crave for others to understand our individuality, we are searching for closeness, for acceptance. We want to be understood, we want to be looked after, we want others to help us carry our burden and share our plight. We want for someone to complement what we are lacking. We want, we want, we want… But of course on our terms… People are selfish! But if we wouldn’t look after ourselves who would?
I can understand that humans look to Him and find solace. We are here on borrowed time and only once, so we have to make the best of it! There might be re-incarnation. I don’t know. I will find out one day. In the meantime I try to be nice to people. I say I try, as it doesn’t always work this way… I have no influence on how people perceive me. They might not like my frown lines, they might not like the pitch of my voice or my accent… all things I can’t change, and I shrug my shoulders and say: their problem not mine… On the other hand, if somebody is grumpy… How do I know what happened to them before we bumped into each other? Maybe their wife just left them, or their father had a car accident, or their child was diagnosed with an untreatable disease. Their grumpiness might not have anything to do with me at all…
It is this split second of eternity in which we meet and make a decision about whether we like or dislike a person. Scaaaaryyyy! And, be honest, once we have formed an opinion about someone it is very, very difficult to change.
To cut a long story short, what I am advocating is, find yourself a person who has similar values as you have, fall in love with this person and note, IN love is a completely different feeling than love itself. Being in love is a wonderful folly, and a period of exaggeration and best behaviour. Love itself is a feeling that has to be nourished to grow, a feeling of warmth despite all the flaws, the farts and burps. If it is allowed to grow it will lead to the ultimate trust… in the acceptance of two people in their individuality and differences. And this is what I mean by soul mate.
First a warning: Most people actually don’t want to be happy – as truly happy people are so, so boring. What makes life interesting are the spikes, not equilibrium.
I have learned to embrace my ups and downs. I have learned that the proverbial brick wall stops me only temporarily. I don’t have to force my way through it, there is always a way around it. Finding this detour often requires a pause, to sit down and ponder.
On my personal list of happiness there are only two items, and they are by no means fame and riches. On my list is one item you should have and one you shouldn’t. Not too difficult, is it?
The item you absolutely need to have is a soul mate!
What you need to get rid of are any personal expectations you have of him/her, so that you will keep this gem for a long long time to come!
As easy as…
Funnily enough, most of my friends seem to think the first part is the difficult one. In fact it is the second, the working on the relationship, trying not to re-model the person you’ve found to fit your ideas. Without expectation the ideas will grow together in due time :)
Then when you hit the brick wall your fall will be cushioned!
I use my art to dissect ideas that float around my head. It relaxes me tremendously and helps to solve any difficult issues I have to deal with.
When I was at school, my doodling habits drove my teachers absolutely bonkers. I never finished a period with any sort of usable notes and therefore couldn’t revise at home. In the end I got kicked out of school because my English and French weren’t up to scratch… Ah well, as time goes by… I wish my English teacher could hear me now.
I am still doodling when I am in meetings, some habits never die! Funnily enough, I can take in conversations much better when I do this. I am pretty sure all the other doodlers out there will agree :)
dedepuppets 