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Soft noodles (Spätzle)

January 25, 2015 //
0

deutsch Fraulein potato press2

“Yesterday you said all the recipes are easy” called Deutsch Fraulein. “But I know one that is difficult to master.” Mouse looked at her expectantly and asked, “Made of flour, water and egg? I find that hard to believe!”

“Yes, precisely,” answered Deutsch Fraulein. “Where I come from we eat soft noodles called Spaetzle. They are fantastic with lentils for a cheap and healthy meal. As they are very porous they love to swim in sauce. They soak it up.” She gave Mouse the recipe. Mouse read it and looked very confused. “Yes,” said Deutsch Fraulein “they are a bit messy to make as the batter is very soft and it is best if you have a potato press. It’s even better if you have an experienced person to show you how it’s done.” The difficulty with this recipe is in getting the texture of the batter right. It can’t be too thin or too thick. But when it works, they are delicious.

“There is also salt in it” Mouse pointed out. “Do we need this? You know some of us have be careful with our blood pressure.”

“Yeah” said Deutsch Fraulein. “I would put it in. I personally find them a bit bland otherwise. But isn’t it the same with sugar? When you do so much home cooking, you cut out all the salt that’s in processed food, so this bit little won’t hurt, right?”

“I guess so” said Mouse. She still wasn’t sure whether a difficult recipe should be included, but then, who doesn’t like a challenge? “Apart from lentils, what else can you have with these soft noodles?”

Deutsch Fraulein’s eyes lit up and she explained that Spaetzle can be used as condiment for any dish that would go with pasta, though it’s best if the dish has a thick sauce. For a very cheap and filling meal, fry chopped onions in a good helping of butter and add breadcrumbs. Fry until the bread crumbs are saturated with butter and smell nicely toasted. Pour over the Spaetzle.

Or place a layer of Spaetzle in an oven-proof dish, cover with grated cheese, add another layer of Spaetzle and another layer of cheese. Bake at 2000 C until the cheese has melted.

In the end, Deutsch Fraulein said “I strongly recommend a huge side salad with these meals! Never forget to eat your greens!”

Ingredients (for 2 people)

1 cup of flour, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon of salt, scant cup of water.

You also need either a thin wooden cutting board and a long knife or a potato press with medium sized holes or a colander and a spatula.

Method

Pour flour into a bowl. Add the salt. With a wooden spoon stir in the water little by little. Just enough so it feels and looks like a very stodgy porridge. Stir in the egg and then use the wooden spoon to beat the hell out of the batter. Beat it until it comes away easily from the side of the bowl and little air bubbles rise to the surface when you stop beating.

Let the batter rest for half an hour. In the meantime you can prepare the lentils or whatever you want to eat with your Spaetzle.

Prepare a bowl with cold water to spoon the finished Spaetzle into and bring a big pot of water (at least 2 liters) to the boil. The Spaetzle love space.

Now the tricky part starts. If you have no other utensils, use a thin wooden board. Wet it with water and smear the batter on the board. Use a long knife and slice off a piece of batter and push it into the hot water. Continue until all the batter is in the water. The process is much easier and faster if you have a potato press with medium sized holes. Just fill the press with the batter and press into the boiling water. (But make sure you move the press in a circular motion over the pot while pressing to avoid dropping all the batter in the same spot in the pot. If this happens you will end up having one doughy blob instead of noodles). The third option is to fill a colander with the batter, hold it over the pot, and with the spatula force the batter through the holes into the water below. With the last option you will end up with short Spaetzle.

The batter sinks to the bottom of the pot and the noodles are done when they float back to the top. This won’t take long at all. Scoop the finished Spaetzle out of the pot with as slotted spoon and put it into the bowl of cold water you prepared earlier. Then spoon them onto a warm plate and they are done. Make sure you shake the water off well.

If they get too cold you can reheat them in a skillet with a little butter.

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Categories Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

The egg and the chicken

January 24, 2015 //
0

mouse devil eggs

“I would go for pasta without eggs anytime” said Evan G List, the vegan. “How can you possibly eat animal products when so many Dedes are animals?”

“Well…” Mouse felt uncomfortable. She understood Evan’s point of view but felt like she was put on the spot.

“Look” said Devil, who calls a spade a spade, coming to her aid. “We have the chickens in the backyard because there is too much weed and they love to eat it. In return they produce chicken poop, which is a brilliant fertiliser for the vege garden. It happens that they also lay eggs. Shall we throw those out, or what?”

“No, of course not. But you shouldn’t have chickens in the first place!”

“Then we would need to go and buy fertiliser. Who knows how that is produced. Sorry, that doesn’t make sense to me.”

Mouse does a wonderful job. All the food scraps go either into the worm bin or in the chicken trough. And what either of them produces from their food, goes on to nourish the soil in the vege garden. We eat the veges and produce scraps. It is a perfect cycle.

“But you don’t have a cow. And you use milk and butter!” Evan said triumphantly.

“Yes, you’re right, we’ve made a choice. Our mantra is everything in moderation.” Devil didn’t want to get into an argument. There are some things you just can’t argue about. (By the way, in New Zealand all cows are grass fed and outside all year round. However, there are far too many for the environment.)

Mouse turned to Devil and said, “I think we need some sort of summary about what we are actually doing here. Can you succinctly describe the reason for our recipe collection?”

Devil didn’t need time to think. “There are two goals, remember. Firstly, if you buy these staple foods in the shops, they are highly processed and contain too much sugar and salt, as well as flavour enhancers and additives to extend their shelf-life. Secondly, they are overpriced in my opinion. Well, maybe not too overpriced, as the processing certainly costs money. We just want to show everyone that you can make staple foods much cheaper and healthier at home. The recipes aren’t too difficult or time consuming. ”

Mouse said “Yeah right, now I remember. The idea was conceived when you lost your job, wasn’t it? You didn’t get out of bed and moped about because you had nothing to do and no money” Devil didn’t want to be reminded as it was a sad time for him, but Mouse was right. It was the creative L’Artiste who suggested they should write a book called The Artist’s survival cookbook or 101 recipes with flour and water. He knows a thing or two about living on the breadline. Mouse was excited that all the Dedes were working together to make it happen, even though the bulk of the work landed on her. Again! She doesn’t mind. “It’s coming together nicely” she said. “But we need a full Dede meeting to get ideas on how to take it further.” Mouse is a good administrator, but creativity is not one of her strengths.

 

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, gardening, Hand Puppets, Life, Promotion, recipes

Egg pasta

January 23, 2015 //
0

Mouse pasta

“Enough of the sweet stuff” Mouse squealed. “Have you noticed we haven’t even published our staple food?” She looked at the recipe list in disbelieve.

“What would that be?” asked Devil looking over her shoulder trying to glimpse what’s been published so far.

“Pasta” replied Mouse.

“But we had pasta! Remember? Right at the beginning.”

“Yes, but that was no egg pasta. Now that we have started using eggs we can finally make our famous egg pasta public”

Egg pasta is such a common thing for the Dedes they nearly forgot about it. It only takes them 5 minutes to make, though they do have a pasta machine. Mouse demonstrated and took a picture of the dough before and after using the pasta machine. You can use different flours such as wholemeal or spelt, or mix some buckwheat with normal flour. Anything. Once you know what the dough should look and feel like it is easy to add other ingredients.

dough noodle machine

Ingredients

1 cup of flour, 1 large egg, dash of water

Method

Knead all the ingredients together to form an elastic ball. Only add water if necessary and only enough for the dough to stick together. It should not be sticky at all, but rather dry. Divide into two, roll out with a rolling-pin. Fold over, roll out again, fold over, roll out again, fold over…. you get the picture. This is the part where the pasta machine comes in handy. You have to repeat the procedure until you have a very smooth piece of dough (pictured above). With the machine, you just wind it through, fold over and wind it through again. Once the dough has the right consistency you will have to roll it out as thin as possible. With the machine you wind it through, increase the pressure by one notch and wind it through again until you have the desired thickness. Cut the dough into strips and hang up to dry. You can place a clean tea towel over the back of a chair and place the dough strips on the tea towel, or you can hang it up on a pasta drying rack.

Bring a pot of water to the boil and while you are waiting for that prepare the sauce you want to have with your pasta.

When the water is boiling place pasta in the water and cook for 5 to 7 minutes.

Mouse’s favourite dish is pasta doused with garlic and chillies fried in olive oil. Simple, but yummy.

 

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

American pancakes or piklets

January 19, 2015 //
2

american pancakes

“These aren’t pancakes” Nosy Neighbour shook his head in disgust after he tried what Push Push called the best pancakes ever. She has refined them with a savoury topping made from mixed garden vegetables in sour cream. “Pancakes need to be fluffy and light and smaller. And you have them for breakfast, not dinner, with lashings of honey or butter.”

“No you don’t” Push Push huffed. “They should be a light healthy base for a quality topping. Not some unhealthy sponge without nutritional value that might fill you up but doesn’t sustain you.

“You can’t be good all the time. You have to have some fun and eat comfort food. Life is too short!” retorted Nosy Neighbour. Mouse reminded them they should be open minded about each others recipes. There is no right and wrong. “Have you ever tried American pancakes?” asked Nosy Neighbour now. Poor Push Push turned scarlett as she had to admit she hadn’t.

“I’ll make you some” offered Nosy Neighbour kindly “and because you want to be healthy I’ll make them without sugar. Sugar just adds sweetness, but doesn’t make a difference to the texture.”

Ingredients

1 cup of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, (1/2 teaspoon salt and 2 tablespoons of caster sugar if you want), 1 cup of milk, 2 tablespoons of melted butter and 1 lightly beaten egg. Oil or butter for the pan.

Method

Mix the dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, salt and caster sugar) in a large bowl. In a separate bowl lightly whisk together the milk and egg, then stir in the melted butter. (I melt the butter in the pan I use for baking later. This saves on dishes)

Pour the runny mixture into the dry mixture and stir with a fork until you have a smooth batter. Make sure there are no lumps. Let the batter stand for a few minutes.

Heat a pan and melt a little butter or oil over a medium heat. When it is hot, add a ladle of batter (or two if there is enough space for two pancakes at once). It should be a thickish blob which will rise further due to the baking powder. When the top of the pancake begins to bubble, turn it over and cook until both sides are golden brown and the pancake has risen to about 1cm thickness.

They taste best fresh out the pan.

Push Push was surprised to find out she actually had eaten them before, but where she comes from they are called piklets and she always loved them.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Monkey’s pancake business

January 17, 2015 //
0

monkey pancake

“Can I have pancakes now?” whined Monkey.

“No you can’t!” said Devil quickly, before Mouse could say yes. Obviously Devil had a bone to pick with Monkey. “Why not?” asked Monkey bewildered.

“Did Judy really say she can’t make pancakes?” Devil asked and looked directly into Monkey’s eyes. Monkey looked at Mouse and then to the floor. It seemed as if he was shrinking a little.

“No, she didn’t, did she?” Devil answered instead and Monkey knew he had been found out. “Did you actually talk to her? Or did you just use her name to put more weight behind your demand?”

Monkey continued looking at the floor and quietly said “maybe.”

The whole story didn’t sit right with Devil and he had figured out, when you are 350 years old, of course you must know how to make pancakes, particularly if you have such a fine pan.

“And worse,” Devil continued “you then called her racist!” Monkey looked up, eyes wide open. “I did not!” he cried defensively.

“You know” Devil said emphatically and wagged his finger right in Monkey’s face “we cannot condone this.”

“But I didn’t, honestly!” Monkey whimpered.

“Shush! It is such an old trick, when you don’t get your way: Just blame it on obvious differences and then call the other one a racist. That kills any discussion.”

“But I didn’t!” Monkey repeated. Mouse, who had listened to the conversation nodded, put her mitten on Devil’s arm and corroborated. “No, he didn’t! He said, as long as it is not motivated by racism, he can live with it.”

“But he still told us a fib to get his way” Devil said adamantly. “I can’t tolerate this either!”

“So, what shall we do?” Mouse asked.

Devil looked in the air for a while thinking about a punishment, then he said “Okay, Monkey has to apologise to Judy for using her well-known name to gain an advantage!”

“I apologise!” Monkey called out instantly. “And I didn’t call her racist. At least I didn’t mean to!”

Devil relaxed a little, but wasn’t entirely convinced it was good enough.

“Can I have a pancake now?” Monkey asked timidly. Devil didn’t answer but Mouse came round. “It’s good enough for me.  Fun, Peace and Pancakes, what else do you need?”

Ingredients

2 cups of flour, 2 eggs, 1/2 cup of water or milk or a mixture of both, salt (optional). Butter for the pan

Method

Pour flour in a bowl, add salt, mix in half the liquid with a wooden spoon. Do this little by little, thoroughly stirring to avoid lumps. Add the egg. Stir continuously until the egg is well integrated and then mix in the rest of the water. It should be a thin and runny batter. Add more water if need be.

In a pan heat up the butter with a medium heat until it melts and just starts to brown, then scoop a ladle full of batter into the pan. Tilt the pan around so that the bottom is well covered with the batter. Then wait until it dries from the underside. Flip the pancake over and bake for a further two minutes or so until it is golden brown.

Even though Monkey got his wish, he wasn’t happy eating the pancakes. We are not sure whether the recipe was too basic or because he was told off.

 

 

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes, Social Network

Scones

January 16, 2015 //
0

Professor scones

Professor was cross with Pig. He had to cringe at the ignorance of his mate. “Potato.” he said and shook his head. “If you only wouldn’t pig out on everything edible that was offered.”

As you may know the two of them are an item. Professor is the one who usually does all the talking in their relationship and Pig does all the nodding. Now Pig nodded again, but everybody could see he only wanted to be helpful. It is well-known that Pig is socially awkward and gets very stressed when he has to listen for too long. That is why he usually just nods. Of course he wants to be a valued member of the group (nodding again) and when, for a change, he believes he knows what’s going on he  often jumps in, boots and all. Often it turns out he only listened to half the story. To his defense here, he honestly thought the Dedes were working on a normal cookbook, not one limited to flour-and-water recipes.

He hung his head and admitted sadly: “I don’t know a recipe with potato flour.”

“It doesn’t need to be potato flour, dumb head” Professor scolded. “None of the recipes require potato flour. Just normal flour, nothing special.” But when he saw his mate becoming distraught again he added “how about your scones?”

“Oh yes, scones,” said Pig, eyes lighting up. “Let’s do scones.” Pig ran to the kitchen drawer and leafed through the contents to find his recipe to hand to Mouse.

Scones are basically soda buns. Like the soda bread, they are very easy to make and ready in no time flat. 5 Minutes prep time and 20 Minutes baking.

Mouse looked at the recipe. “I see you have baking soda and baking powder in your recipe. Can you explain the difference?” she asked interested.

“Please don’t ask Pig” Professor said “He wouldn’t know!” Then he gave the explanation himself. Baking soda is natriumbicarbonate. It is a leavening agent that makes the goods rise when an acid liquid is added, e.g. butter milk or lemon. The acid reacts with the baking soda and in the process carbon dixoid bubbles – like in soda water – are generated. Without some sort of acid, baking soda will simply not be able to do its job. Baking powder on the other hand contains not only natriumbicarbonate (baking soda), but also cream of tartar, which is an acid component   to make sure the reaction takes place. (Often it also contains starch as drying a agent.) If you want to mix it yourself use 1 part baking soda  and 2 parts cream of tartar.

Any dough made with baking soda requires speedy handling, as the described reaction will start as soon as the acid liquid is added. If the dough is mixed for too long or is allowed to stand for a while, the baking soda will fizzle prematurely and as a result the baked goods will be hard.

Ingredients

2 cups of flour, 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda and 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder, 30g butter cut in small pieces, half a cup of water, half a cup of milk (water and milk together should make one scant cup. I usually add a dollop of plain yoghurt as well for extra acid)

Method

Preheat oven to 200 °C

Place the flour, baking soda and baking powder in a bowl and mix well with a fork. Cut pieces of butter into the bowl and rub into the flour with your finger tips. The flour will become moist and grainy. Make sure the butter is well distributed throughout the flour.

Combine the water and the milk (and yoghurt) in a cup. Make a well in the middle of the bowl of flour. Pour all the liquid in at once (keeping just a little bit for glacing), then quickly work the flour with your hands. The dough should be quite moist and sticky, but firm, and keep it’s shape when placed on the baking tray.

With your hands scoop six evenly sized helpings onto the baking tray dusted with flour. Brush the scones with the remaining milk/water mix.

Bake for 20 mins.

 

 

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Categories Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Give me a break

January 14, 2015 //
0

pig potaoe

They all stuffed their tummies with the delicious pizza and couldn’t move for a day. Mouse, being extremely conscientious about the project, tried to get them back on track and when Pig came in the kitchen dragging a big sack behind him, she asked for the next recipe.

“I want to have poatoes now!” he exclaimed and unpacked his bag on the bench. “If I have to eat one more thing made from water and flour…”

“Potato flour I would accept” said Mouse strictly. “But actual potatos? No!” she continued and pointed to the door.

“Bossy boots” he mumbled, and left.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes

Pizza

January 13, 2015 //
0

L'artiste pizza2

While they all loved L’Artiste’s pizza bread, it is not the same as a pizza. They begged him to come back the next day and run a pizza making workshop.

The first thing they learned is that people have different preferences when it comes to their pizza base. There is no right or wrong, just different likes. L’Artiste favours a thin and crunchy crust, as do most of the Dedes. If you like it more spongy, simply allow the dough to rise longer between kneading.

It takes L’Artiste exactly one hour from entering the kitchen to having the pizza on the table. So it’s not really a quick dinner, but time flies as the process is broken up into different tasks. He also considers pizza making a social event and loves having other people help chop up toppings while they chat away.

The dough is exactly the same as for the pizza bread yesterday, but because it is covered with juicy sauce and toppings it will need 20 minutes to bake. Once the pizza is in the oven there is plenty of time to clean the kitchen, throw together a nice side salad or simply have a glass of wine in anticipation. And when the kitchen is nice and tidy, the evening can begin!

Ingredients for one tray of pizza (two large or 4 small slices)

2 cups of flour, a scant teaspoon of dry yeast, 3/4 cup of warm water. Various toppings and grated cheese.

Method

Put the flour in the bowl and add half of the water and the yeast. Now you can do other chores for 15 minutes while the yeast becomes active. When the yeast is foamy, mix it with the flour, add the rest of the water and knead to an elastic dough. Let it rest to rise.

Switch the oven on to 2000C and attend to the sauce that goes on top of the base. L’Artiste usually fries some diced onions in olive oil and adds a can of diced tomatoes (yes, a can! He read somewhere that canned tomatoes have more lycopene than fresh tomatoes, but watch out for the salt content of the canned ones!). Then he adds the mediterranean selection of herbs… rosmary, sage, oregano, thyme..

While the sauce reduces, he chops the toppings everyone wants, or else whatever he can find in the fridge (at least a red pepper, onions and garlic). If he has helpers he just supervises this task and someone has to grate the cheese. He prefers a combination of edam cheese and goat cheese. But either or will do, though the correct cheese topping for a pizza is mozzarella. Fresh mozzarella is hard to come by where the Dedes live. The wonderful thing about pizza is that anything goes. If you like it, put it on!

After the chopping and grating is done, knead the dough again, roll it out to its final size and place it on the baking tray dusted with flour. Pour the sauce on, spreading it around. Then distribute the various toppings. Lastly, put the cheese on top. If the pizza is shared, and it mostly is, L’Artiste adds what everyone wants to different sections (There is always someone who doesn’t like olives, while the next one doesn’t like salami). He then cuts the pizza before it goes in the oven, which makes it easier to divide up once it is baked.

Bake for 20 minutes at 2000C.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes, Social Network, workshop

Pizza bread

January 12, 2015 //
0

sunny pizza

“Can we have pancakes now?” Monkey asked after he had just devoured three pita pockets filled with cheese and carrots.

“No, you have to wait” said Sunny who just happend to be passing by carrying a big flat box. “We haven’t even mentioned the most important food in the whole wide world.”

“What could this be?” Mouse wondered and looked at the list of recipes covered so far. There were crackers and pasta and buns and bread. All the basic foods you need.

“C’mon, what does everybody love?” asked Sunny expectantly.

“Chocolate?” answered Mouse a little unsure.

“I give up.” Sunny dropped the box on the table and threw his hands in the air. “What do you think is in my box? Pizza of course! ”

“Pizza!”, “Pizza!”, “Pizza!” the Dedes shouted excitedly and Monkey knew immediately he wouldn’t have a chance in hell of getting a pancake recipe today. “But then we can have some pancakes, right?” Mouse ignored his comment and turned to Sunny. “You’re right, that should be next so give me your recipe.”

“What recipe?” Sunny looked surprised. “I don’t make pizza, I eat it.” Mouse wondered how Sunny could afford to buy pizza all the time as he doesn’t have a job. He wants to be an artist and is waiting for his break. In the meantime he still lives at home and his mum does all the cooking when he doesn’t have pizza.

“Oh, dear.” Mouse felt like screaming, but then L’Artiste stepped forward and saved her from just doing that. “I know how to make pizza. I make it quite often in my studio. It’s perfect to eat between brush strokes.”

And then he told us what he puts on his pizza: salami and ham and olives and garlic and onions and red peppers and chilly and capers and anchovies and pineapple and artichokes and chicken and mussles and scampi and all covered with a thick layer of grated cheese. Everybody knew he was just dreaming as most of the time he is poor. Then he makes a pizza base, drizzles a little olive oil on top, sprinkles it with italian herbs and chops up a clove of garlic or two to finish it off. “That is delicious too, you know” he said, and we knew exactly that is what he has most of the time.

Even though it is a yeast dough, you don’t have to wait too long for the dough to rise, unless you want to have a really spongy pizza bread. The Dedes prefer the crunchy ones.

Ingredients

2 cups of flour, 1 scant teaspoon of dry yeast, 3/4 cup of warm water, garlic, herbs and oil to flavour

Method

Preheat the oven to 2000C.

Pour flour into a bowl, make a well in the middle. Add half the warm water and add the yeast. Let sit for at least 10 minutes so the yeast becomes active, which you can see when it becomes frothy. You don’t want to let it sit for too long.

While the yeast is doing its thing, chop garlic, place in a cup and pour oil over it. Add herbs to your liking. There is absolutely no precise measure for that, anything goes.

Mix the slushy yeast with the flour and add as much of the remaining water needed to make a dough that is not sticky. Knead well. Let sit for five to ten minutes and knead again.

Divide the dough into two balls and roll out with a rolling pin.

In a pizza shop the pizzas are always nice and round. Not at L’Artiste’s place. He rolls them out to a shape that lets him fit two side by side on a standard size baking tray. It might be a heart, or the map of Australia, whatever his creative mind comes up with. Then he places them on lightly floured tray and pours the oil/garlic/herb mixture on and spreads it around with a brush.

Bake for 12 mins.

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Categories Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes, Social Network

Pita bread

January 11, 2015 //
6

bobby pitay

“Guys, guys, guys. Don’t you realise we’re doing the same thing over and over again with just a few minor changes?” asked Monkey.

“That’s so not true.” defended Mouse. “While there are plenty of similarities there are also heaps of differences.”

“What about a good pancake recipe? I love pancakes! And Judy – you know the wife of Punch – would like to make pancakes too.” The other day Monkey was talking to Tony’s puppets in Australia. To his surprise he discovered that Judy had a pan, but thought it was only good for whacking Punch. When Monkey asked her to make some pancakes, she didn’t know how.

“Maybe she should try Devil’s flat bread first. We will have pancakes soon, but you need eggs… and milk and sugar.”

“Egg yes, but not necessarily milk” answered Monkey “I am really dying for some pancakes with thick slices of banana on top. Doesn’t Push Push the elephant have good recipe?”

A heated discussion ensued. In the end the consensus was that pita bread should be made first, as this bread is made from flour, water and yeast only, with an optional dash of oil and salt. Bobby the policeman was happy to share his trusted recipe.

“I like to make my pita in the oven” he said, “but you also can make it on the stove top if you don’t have an oven. That’s what I did when I still was at police school. I was boarding then and only had a cooker with one element.”

“See, Monkey” said Mouse.”Judy could try this recipe too. If she’d used the pan properly maybe Punch wouldn’t be quite so obnoxious.”

Ingredients

2.5 cups flour, 1 cup warm water, 1.5 teaspoons dry yeast, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon olive oil (optional)

Method

Put the flour in a bowl. Make a well in the middle and pour in half the water and add the dry yeast. Let sit for 10 mins until the yeast is sloshy. Then mix the flour and water to make a dough and add the remaining water in the process. Move to a clean work surface and knead. Resist adding more water. It needs to be a dry and heavy dough. Knead for at least 5 minutes until it is smooth and elastic. When making pita bread, this is the only time you knead throroughly so you might as well do it properly.

Clean the bowl and place the dough in it. Put a little olive oil in the bowl and swipe with the dough, so that the entire surface is covered in a thin oily film (this is not absolutely necessary, but it keeps the dough from drying out). Cover the bowl with a clean tea towel and let rest for at least 1 hour in a warm place.

Heat the oven to 2200C

When you are ready, deflate the dough gently and put it on a lighly floured work surface. Divide into 8 balls and flatten them out into a thick disk by rolling them out with a rolling pin to the size you want. Sprinkle with more flour if necessary. Place them on a floured baking tray and let rise for another 5 minutes or so (while the oven is heating up). It is important that the oven is properly heated as the instant heat will help the bread to puff.

Just before you put the tray in the oven, flip the pieces over. Once they are in the oven, it should take around 3 minutes for them to puff up. They are ready when they have finished ballooning. But you might keep them in the oven a little longer to brown them a little. I bake my ones between 5 and 8 minutes. When they come out of the oven they are hard, but they soften when they cool down.

If yo don’t have an oven, you can puff your pita in a pan. Lightly grease a skillet and heat it up high. Place one of the pieces of dough in it and wait until it is puffed. Flip over and brown the other side. Press the edges down with a spatula if neccessary.

Left over pitas keep in an airtight bag for several days and can be heated up in the toaster. You also can freeze baked pitas for up to 3 months. Place some waxed paper between the individual pieces when freezing.

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Categories Absurd, Art, Books, Comedy, Fun, Hand Puppets, Life, recipes
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